Aspies For Freedom

I don't like the lumpy bits. Are all we are and all we seem but a dream within a dream or is that really not deep and philosophical but meaningless ramble?

What kind of a question is that?
If a tree falls in a forest does it make a sound? Can we ask the big bloke with a chainsaw in his hands?

After starring in some big box office hits they became Governors of California.
Do you know how many poodles you can fit into a blender?

Only one. I borders Canada, and is called "Mountie County"

If I am working hard, then am I "hardLY" working?

It is all relative to your relative perception of reality.

Do I have promise in the question-dodging, political arena?

I think so the guy in the mirror opposite me looks quite clever.

Chaos theory reckons a butterfly flapping its wings could, in theory, cause a tidal wave in another part of the world. If I run around my front yard flapping my arms up and down repeatedly yelling "I am a butterfly! I am a butterfly!", what do you think the result will be?

Absolutely!

I hear your boss is Tony Soprano. Is that true?

It would depend on whether both the lady and myself were consenting as to where I would or wouldn't place it.

Is half of 0, 0 or is half of 0, u?

At the abbatoirs where I work a tally means extra bonus in the slaughterman's pay whereas a ho is...let's just say out of the two I would prefer a tally!

Would "Sounds of Them" by Gangajang or "Great Southern Land" by Icehouse be a better national anthem for Australia?

Just a can of diet crack.

Why does the day seem to fly after a can of this delicious beverage?

Because the unwritten rule is as good as the paper it is written on

Is this why I don't like shaking hands?

Kidnapping!!!