Aspies For Freedom

"look behind you".

"OOOF EEEF ERRF!", I said, calmly, as my hands promply melted. My vision faded...

When I woke up, I heard the annoying shouts of loud-mouthed idiots! The guards were having a party. My hands where whole again. Confused, I turned my head, only to ram it into a truly enormous can of beer. It broke, and the entire prison was flooded. I swam my way to safety, while all the guards drowned.

Out of nowhere, I suddenly heard a terrified shout, along with the evil, raspy cackle of the queen. Suddenly in a state of panic, I ran, only to fall over as I took the first few steps...

A large, tentacled monster! "What's this?", the monster said. "You are not Japanese, nor a schoolgirl. What a shame." The monster then threw me away, resulting in a quick, otherwise trouble-free flight out of the fortress of the moles.

High into the air, I went, and then crashed down into a tree. How much time passed, I do not know, but eventually, I woke up, lying in a hospital bed.

"Wherever you'll be when you die...?", another voice most helpfully said.

"Aaaaaaaaargh.", someone suddenly said, calmly and peacefully; for what reason, shall forever remain a mystery. What was significantly less mysterious was the fact that, due to the immense loudness of the voice in question, every window in the room shattered.

As I looked up in sudden shock, I saw a depressed emo doctor sitting in a corner of the room, as he shrieked in horror when a flying piece of glass cut him, but he soon became thankful, the glass having saved him from the arduous task of doing so himself.

Suddenly, the blood of the doctor began to glow with increasing brightness, and after mere moments, I suddenly became blinded by an immense flash of light.

Then, came a massive "THUD!", followed by a brief bolt of pain, spreading through the body. As I looked around, I noticed the surroundings had changed...

"AHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!", the resounding answer was. And as she turned around, I saw...

...I was suddenly and painfully ware that Mergatroyd was slapping me.
"WElcome to the land of the living!", he laughed, "Geez mate you were saying some really weird stuff..."
"Like what?!", I retorted angrily. A bit put off by his all too happy manner.
"Like you really don't wanna know" He giggled.
"What happened?"
"You mean before you stuffed those LSD-laced apricots in your mouth or after you went semi-catatonic on me"
"Why leave LSD-laced apricots around the place?", I asked sincerely
"Ummm....look you've wasted enough time already being fried off your brain are you ready for that secret mission or not?"

First time I'd seen him annoyed. He stared at me scratching his crutch (I now know why I liked him with underpants on)
"OK!" I said
"Good!" he replied, once more a happy little hamster, "Umm...can you pass me over one of those apricots?"
.......

"Yes...." The fridge stated quite uncertainly, "Perhaps you're right" and on that despondent and slightly depressed note the fridge shut its door, much to the chagrin of the angry contents of the fridge.

I sat back in the seat amazed."Whoa!", I said to the all too happy and non-fazed Mergatroyd, "That was pretty trippy!"

"Yeah it was cool hey? But if you think that was good you see what is gonna happen next?"

In a sudden, but unfortunately temporary flash of lucidity, it occured to me Mergatroyd was not only handing this well but had probably consumed "the odd apricot" in his life and he would know.

Then it happened............

"I think conversing with compost rat is the most ludicrous thing ever!", stated one of my companions. She was a young girl in a school uniform. Obviously smart in a bookwormish kind of way.
"The only kind of rats you ought to talk to a your familiars!", she derided in a snobby way.
"Don't worry", whispered another young companion in my other ear, "She is always like that but she is OK once you get to know her"
He was a smiling, friendly, perpetually panicked, young boy her age in identical clothes.
Noting my uneasiness and uncertainty, he offered me a weird looking gobstopper from a box he had in his hands.
"Name's Ron. Have one of these. They are all different flavours. Even horrible ones like earwax."
I picked it uot of the box and Ron smiled at me. I went to put it in my mouth and the young girl frowned and shook her head. I decided I didn't like her. I tossed it into my mouth and bit down on it.
It was....apricot flavoured...I heard a hamster-like giggle behind me coming from Ron....

BUT then, a silhoutte of grusome figure appeared through the mist. It was the avatar of the almighty god Erkolos with a twisted grin over his face. He was armed with giant fist-weapons and was obviously waiting for someone.

The devil had arrived...

And he said with his grim voice...

(Where did the 'I' character go?)

(Supposing ichtims thought the avatar asked "-Where did the 'I' character go?")

Then the grusome avatar asked:
-Who is Ing and Ong?

off topic: I have an uncle that was involved with similar operations. He is considered as Norway's 007. Gunnar Sønsteby is his name.

How did you know? Ok, this uncle is the husband of my father's sister, or...... don't really remember.

Off topic:

What did Ing and Ong say when my avatar asked -who is Ing and Ong?

... the corner would jump at him.