Just wondering but does anyone realise what they should have done in a social situation afterwards?
My sister has this friend she brings round to the house. I don't speak to my sister unless I have a reason to do so. So the last time my sisters friend was round I went to give my sister something, left the room and thought "Oh yeah! I forgot to say hello again".
It happens everytime, she must think I hate her.
It happens to me all the time.
The other day, I said that my friend was a hopeless romantic because he was longing to talk with his girlfriend, but she broke up with him fast. The exact second after I said it, and before Austin relied, I realised that it would sound like an insult to him. It did, and I depressed him even more by accident.
Ever since the break-up, Austin and Sabrina haven't talked to each other since, and it's really a shame, because Sabrina is a nice person and I think they make a good couple.
Yeah, happens pretty often. Maybe it's me being paranoid a lot about it because once I made a "mistake" like this I can't seem to shake it off, it just keeps bugging me forever, feels pretty awful.
It happens to me all the time.
The other day, I said that my friend was a hopeless romantic because he was longing to talk with his girlfriend, but she broke up with him fast. The exact second after I said it, and before Austin relied, I realised that it would sound like an insult to him. It did, and I depressed him even more by accident.
('-_-) <-- embarrassed Japanese emoticon
Yeah. I apologized quickly though, and that little incident didn't harm our friendship one bit.
~*~
I also notice that I keep thinking about stupid things I said years ago, and wondering how long the damage lasted, and if it ever healed at all.
Yes-
I've blurted out a few odd or direct remarks in social situations and only realized what I said later. I mentally beat up on myself and am my own worst critic, so these little learning experiences are not very fun :oops:
"Oh yeah! I forgot to say hello again".
I often forget to say hello to someone who just came in and who will not directly deal with me (f.x., I'm just going to do some another thing). And I never realize it as a mistake until some of my relatives points it out. I think I learned my lesson but next time we have guests in the house it repeats again and again.
Miss Aspiette is 100% right. I can and do still dwell on things that happened years, even decades ago. Even though I don't wont to, I do. As TenaciousCJ says "I think with our condition, we do have this tendency to obsess over things like this." NT's have no comprehension what this is like and they don't understand how it affects us.
I believe that this topic may have been mislabled - should it not be "Realizing you have been misunderstood"? We know what we meant when we said it even if the receiver did not. I think that tenaciouscj made a good point about the 'pumpkin episode'. It was the dog's owner who misunderstood the remark and her error should not cause couldbecousin discomfort when, in fact, he was paying the dog a complement. When I am misunderstood I try to 'dumb it down' for the NT who is not getting it. I no longer take responsibility for other peoples insecurities and they are responsible for their own feelings. If they take offense to what I say, misunderstood or not, the oneous is on them to ask for clarification, not have a hissy fit. Its logical and mature behaviour and nothing to be ashamed of or beat yourselves up about.
I suppose in a way I was misunderstood. People could realise that I am not always going to remember simple social things such as hello, especially if I have something on my mind or there is an unpredicted change to the circumstances. But for me, not saying hello was a mistake because I know I should have done it, thus the title.
It could even be related to our difficulties with multitasking. If we are busy thinking about or doing other things, we might forget to say hello to somebody who comes into the room.
Hello or Good Morning is just manners and I do try and be polite with people as much as I can. If for any reason I was being off and really did not want to speak, when I did feel better I would make the effort to go and see the person and apologise and maybe explain why. I do not like it if people do not like me, I sometimes come accross as quite opinionated but I am very soft centred. A bit like glass, looks solid but easily shattered.
But it sounds as if she didn't even understand about social interaction and niceties.
Acknowledgemnet is good just a smile or a wave is as good as someone saying hello. well to me it is anyway. The problem is not everyone might see it like that.
I'm fine with a wave or a smile.
I don't think it's down to anyone, just that our westernised society believes that we should all acknowledge and be pleasant to each other.
That said I do read something into things if I know someone has seen me and not acnowledged me in someway. However when I feel a bit down I do try and avoid being seen by people, I have even crossed over so people don't see me.