10-25-2006, 01:38 PM
Hello
Recently I have been treated at my doctors for stress and anxiety. My doctor has picked up on the way I talk and family history of adhd and ocd, she thinks there is something behind my panic attacks. I also believe that there is something behind my panic attacks. I have not mentioned yet to my doctor that there is family history of autism on my father's side (this fits some of the gene research?). There are 2 males born at the same time who both were diagnosed with severe regressive autism.
There a few points I have realised (a lot I have been aware of for ages)
1. Biggest most obvious - poor eye contact, it has been pointed out to me you should really look people in the eye but I can't and it stresses me to try. I have been known to imporve slightly when I become ocnfortable and trusting with people (naturely not through trying) and worse when I am uncomfortable or stressed.
2. Hearing I thought I had hearing problems, went to doctor last year and said the tests confirmed I have trouble with low pitch noises but hear high pitch noises well. What this means to me is I can not focus on what I am trying to listen to if there is noise in the background (this may be a kettle boiling, the humming of the pc - I have a 'quiet pc'! compared to some) in a pub in a big group I can not follow converstaions with all the noise around and can get nervy and have slight panic moment - I tend to do go uncharacteristicly quiet and then people bug me whats wrong etc). This was also picked up on in primary school and had big rows with my dad for how loud I had the TV/Music, with much protesting I could hear it - been known to use subtitles when was with my ex and he digged me for not needing them and that I was just been irratating)
THE ABOVE I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AWARE OF AND COULD NOT EXPLAIN IT
3. I am very sociable once I make friends (have had trouble keeping friends in the past), but find it difficult to make new friends (there is a history of this).
4. I am well known to want to talk about what I talk about and will bring the sunbject back round (people can get annoyed about this 'me-me', people who don't understand me accuse me of being insensitive and not considering that people have their own problems - in my defense I wouldn't know unless they told me, I can go away and worry about other people and come back. Its almost as if I need to gather the information to consider and help if need be another person, once I have that I am very empathetic)
5. I can be uncomfortable with other people's emotions I don't like it when people are sad or angry around me, (this has been improving - one of the ironies is I work with learning dis, been with same clients for 2 years and I know there in's and out's, a careplan is my programme for understanding them, there an innocence about there emotions hard to explain)
6. I can read people's faces I geuss (when I look at them, maybe obvious clues - could I have learnt this? For example a guy I care we have been trained to lick up on his facial expressions and body language to give for warning of an episode of violent behaviour)
7. I have been very uncomfortable being touchy feely and hugging people until I started this job (I can still be awkward though with close friends, friends confirm this) However when in a relationship the opposite is true I am very touchy, affectionate, maybe overly? its almost as if I grave it with right person?)
8. I am all for spontaniety of a sort, however once I have decided to do something I want to know the in's and outs of a ducks arse, I need and like to know what I am doing (my rota changed last year from fixed rolling rota to a monthly one, I freaked big time - everyone was annoyed by me a lot strongly than others) now I look to my diary every week and plan my time if I can.
9. Concentration span of a goldfish unless I am doing something I really want to do (then I'm fitchy, unless I am really fixed - with what ever is my obsession), up and down like a fidler's elbow. When forced against this I can become very stressed and agitated (que mentally abuse arsehole of an ex - who controlled me and reigned over all the things I could do)
10. Been bullied at work (this is a long and complicated story) short is someone behaved in stupid way I took it personally (apparently he does this to a lot of people) the situation at work has many indicators that have highlighted my traits if you like.
11. Having a knack for remembering conversations word for word that happened months or years ago, once of these got me in a lot of trouble (however I was in the right - I told someone they had been bullied and because of that I was the next target)
12. A tic (some might say a mouth like a sewer) I can say the at the most inappropriate things in context, putting size 12 in mouth, swearing when I shouldn't not realising I swear so much (someone people just put it down to me being northern, I get in trouble for my mouth up north too ) this can cause offense but with peole I know they find it hilarious funny. Like introducing myself and a colleague to our new manager as the 2 fat slags)
13. I remember being a bit of a loaner in school sometimes, had trouble making friends in new settings (first year of secondary and first term of college - i dropped out and went to a different uni the next year), I have recollection of not wanting to go to nursery, memories of early childhood (pre puberty is vague)
14. I seem to have a different reaction to weed than everyone else - it has been said that it is like having one person on speed with everyone else stoned. That point I have been told I look and sound stoned even when I am not. I joke that I don't need know weed, obviously it makes me more off the wall and I have been told ya could give me a joint or two stick me on a stage and it would be hilarious to watch.
15. Found relationships hard - mmm last obsession was my ex (the reaons for were innocent and part of my anxieties - long story) but I hated the perception of me as a bunny boiler, kept trying to fix it, dug a whole deeper, feeling like no one understands me (the more I try to make people understand me the more they don't understand me). Felt it easier to get my point across via text message and e-mail, messenger (kind of obessive texting to everyone - more so if I'm stressed) 1100 text messages in a month!!!! Its costing me a fortune and has bordered on OCD.
16 I recognise sarcasm eventually (it puzzles me unless its very blatent) can take stuff literally (take a comment and run away with it instead of asking what they mean -
17. Think I am to blame that I have done something wrong when I haven't, feel hurt when people make critcism's of me (I need to learn social skills because sometimes I forget to say hey good morning - go straight into one - or that I am all me-me - I am not well can be but not deliberately I AM NOT INSENSITIVE OR IGNORANT I TAKE OFFENSE TO THAT)
I could go on, got a lot that fits or not?
Recognise that there is difference between boys and girls, that could explain the fact that I can be popular (unless I annoy - one said you really do know how to make friends and influence people, you have a tendency to push people away )
I was relived to think that there is a name to what people just say is just 'me' (if they understand me) or the people who don't get me / or know me who assassinate my character.
I was thinking I needed lots of CBT to put right bad behaviour, but now I am thinking no I don't (maybe CBT to support my neagtive thought patterns that cause anxiety and irrational thought)
What does anyone think???????
Recently I have been treated at my doctors for stress and anxiety. My doctor has picked up on the way I talk and family history of adhd and ocd, she thinks there is something behind my panic attacks. I also believe that there is something behind my panic attacks. I have not mentioned yet to my doctor that there is family history of autism on my father's side (this fits some of the gene research?). There are 2 males born at the same time who both were diagnosed with severe regressive autism.
There a few points I have realised (a lot I have been aware of for ages)
1. Biggest most obvious - poor eye contact, it has been pointed out to me you should really look people in the eye but I can't and it stresses me to try. I have been known to imporve slightly when I become ocnfortable and trusting with people (naturely not through trying) and worse when I am uncomfortable or stressed.
2. Hearing I thought I had hearing problems, went to doctor last year and said the tests confirmed I have trouble with low pitch noises but hear high pitch noises well. What this means to me is I can not focus on what I am trying to listen to if there is noise in the background (this may be a kettle boiling, the humming of the pc - I have a 'quiet pc'! compared to some) in a pub in a big group I can not follow converstaions with all the noise around and can get nervy and have slight panic moment - I tend to do go uncharacteristicly quiet and then people bug me whats wrong etc). This was also picked up on in primary school and had big rows with my dad for how loud I had the TV/Music, with much protesting I could hear it - been known to use subtitles when was with my ex and he digged me for not needing them and that I was just been irratating)
THE ABOVE I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AWARE OF AND COULD NOT EXPLAIN IT
3. I am very sociable once I make friends (have had trouble keeping friends in the past), but find it difficult to make new friends (there is a history of this).
4. I am well known to want to talk about what I talk about and will bring the sunbject back round (people can get annoyed about this 'me-me', people who don't understand me accuse me of being insensitive and not considering that people have their own problems - in my defense I wouldn't know unless they told me, I can go away and worry about other people and come back. Its almost as if I need to gather the information to consider and help if need be another person, once I have that I am very empathetic)
5. I can be uncomfortable with other people's emotions I don't like it when people are sad or angry around me, (this has been improving - one of the ironies is I work with learning dis, been with same clients for 2 years and I know there in's and out's, a careplan is my programme for understanding them, there an innocence about there emotions hard to explain)
6. I can read people's faces I geuss (when I look at them, maybe obvious clues - could I have learnt this? For example a guy I care we have been trained to lick up on his facial expressions and body language to give for warning of an episode of violent behaviour)
7. I have been very uncomfortable being touchy feely and hugging people until I started this job (I can still be awkward though with close friends, friends confirm this) However when in a relationship the opposite is true I am very touchy, affectionate, maybe overly? its almost as if I grave it with right person?)
8. I am all for spontaniety of a sort, however once I have decided to do something I want to know the in's and outs of a ducks arse, I need and like to know what I am doing (my rota changed last year from fixed rolling rota to a monthly one, I freaked big time - everyone was annoyed by me a lot strongly than others) now I look to my diary every week and plan my time if I can.
9. Concentration span of a goldfish unless I am doing something I really want to do (then I'm fitchy, unless I am really fixed - with what ever is my obsession), up and down like a fidler's elbow. When forced against this I can become very stressed and agitated (que mentally abuse arsehole of an ex - who controlled me and reigned over all the things I could do)
10. Been bullied at work (this is a long and complicated story) short is someone behaved in stupid way I took it personally (apparently he does this to a lot of people) the situation at work has many indicators that have highlighted my traits if you like.
11. Having a knack for remembering conversations word for word that happened months or years ago, once of these got me in a lot of trouble (however I was in the right - I told someone they had been bullied and because of that I was the next target)
12. A tic (some might say a mouth like a sewer) I can say the at the most inappropriate things in context, putting size 12 in mouth, swearing when I shouldn't not realising I swear so much (someone people just put it down to me being northern, I get in trouble for my mouth up north too ) this can cause offense but with peole I know they find it hilarious funny. Like introducing myself and a colleague to our new manager as the 2 fat slags)
13. I remember being a bit of a loaner in school sometimes, had trouble making friends in new settings (first year of secondary and first term of college - i dropped out and went to a different uni the next year), I have recollection of not wanting to go to nursery, memories of early childhood (pre puberty is vague)
14. I seem to have a different reaction to weed than everyone else - it has been said that it is like having one person on speed with everyone else stoned. That point I have been told I look and sound stoned even when I am not. I joke that I don't need know weed, obviously it makes me more off the wall and I have been told ya could give me a joint or two stick me on a stage and it would be hilarious to watch.
15. Found relationships hard - mmm last obsession was my ex (the reaons for were innocent and part of my anxieties - long story) but I hated the perception of me as a bunny boiler, kept trying to fix it, dug a whole deeper, feeling like no one understands me (the more I try to make people understand me the more they don't understand me). Felt it easier to get my point across via text message and e-mail, messenger (kind of obessive texting to everyone - more so if I'm stressed) 1100 text messages in a month!!!! Its costing me a fortune and has bordered on OCD.
16 I recognise sarcasm eventually (it puzzles me unless its very blatent) can take stuff literally (take a comment and run away with it instead of asking what they mean -
17. Think I am to blame that I have done something wrong when I haven't, feel hurt when people make critcism's of me (I need to learn social skills because sometimes I forget to say hey good morning - go straight into one - or that I am all me-me - I am not well can be but not deliberately I AM NOT INSENSITIVE OR IGNORANT I TAKE OFFENSE TO THAT)
I could go on, got a lot that fits or not?
Recognise that there is difference between boys and girls, that could explain the fact that I can be popular (unless I annoy - one said you really do know how to make friends and influence people, you have a tendency to push people away )
I was relived to think that there is a name to what people just say is just 'me' (if they understand me) or the people who don't get me / or know me who assassinate my character.
I was thinking I needed lots of CBT to put right bad behaviour, but now I am thinking no I don't (maybe CBT to support my neagtive thought patterns that cause anxiety and irrational thought)
What does anyone think???????