Hope someone can help me,
I live with my 4 sons, eldest son is 20 has aspergers syndrome,18 yr old going to art college,12 yr old and my 15 yr old son Sam has autism
and in the last few months [Sam] has become very aggressive towards me and anyone else who may get in his path during an outburst, I am now terrified in my own home unless my 18 yr old son is here as he can get in between Sam and I if he is upset, (Sam will run at me if I am around him at all)
the special school he goes to are trying to help,
the behavoural therapist is constantly in touch,
he is on a small dose of risperdal since he was 9 and it was increased over the years due to his size and his tolerance level going down,
in the last couple of years I have taken him off sugar and dairy products(he is on a lot of supplements) (gluten will be next)
and his meds have been reduced very [much], they have now been slightly increased to see if this helps with his outbursts, but so far I don't see any improvement and personally I wish he was off all medication.
I am truely at a loss on this one,
he soils during masterbation,that I can manage, but these outbursts are out of control,
I love my son and I don't want him to live away from his home( there are no appropiate residential places anyway)
trying to figure this out is like doing a jigsaw blindfolded!
bottom line, yes he is hormonal, but he had outbursts like this when he was little (hence being put on risperdal)he never lashed out at others but I am sure he did damage himself throwing himself at walls etc..
it all seems so hopeless and I sit and pray he will just grow out of this but he will be a teen for a few yrs yet!
has anyone else had a similar experience, I would love to hear I am not alone and this too shall pass!!
Thank you for your reply, Sam has had some changes and we are logging his every move to find out what may be sparking off his outbursts, no massive changes happening, but having said that as we all know it could be something subtle that I have yet to work out.
Sam has been off sugar for nearly two years now and I feel it is doing him good, he accepts this (sometimes reluctantly!) and I compensate with a lot of other healthier alternatives, which he really does enjoy. If I started giving him sugar again, he would never tolerate a small amount, he would want lots!. The sugar and dairy free diet has helped him to be a bit clearer, his speech is limited but he has more speech now then before.
In school his actions are also being logged, he is in a special school for autistic kids and his teacher is the same lady for the last three yrs.
His dad doesn't live with us and hasn't done for many years now, and he does get anxious about when his dad is coming to bring him out etc.... having said all that he can have an outburst when all is calm in the house, and he knows whats happening ( again it's all so subtle it's becoming more difficult to work out)
The biggest problem is how this is all affecting Sam and his brothers, safety is also an issue, the fear I feel when he starts banging is something I find hard to explain ( I do often feel like throwing up as in the recent past he has hurt me).
If he runs out of the house I can't stop him, when he is in the middle of screaming and banging I am worried he may hit out at a person that he might encounter during the outburst...
I am feeling ill just writing this because I want to protect him and I feel as if can't, I want to protect the others( his younger brother mainly) and myself because if anything happens to me, who will mind Sam?
I'm so sorry to go on, but my family are in crisis and the team at his school are trying to help but it all feels like the mouse on the wheel, frantic and getting nowhere..
On a much nicer note, 90% of the time Sam is a wonderful loving boy, I totally enjoy his company and love his hugs and kisses.
Is there anyone out there with a similar experience? I would love to hear from you or anyone with teens with autism,
Thanks for reading my post, Mollie x
Remember, Mollie, that a person can be constipated DESPITE pooping every day. I was so shocked to discover that. My son was going regularly, daily. But an XRay showed he was completely backed up, and his body was spasaming as a result. Not to say that is your child's problem, but I do think it is worth asking about and ruling out.
I do hope everything is OK with your son. It must be so difficult to have these flip outs and no identifiable source ... I've been there, but NOT with a 15 year old - THAT I dread!
We had our 10-yr old autistic daughter tested for food allergies........we discovered that she was allergic to many many many foods....and some highly allergic (the allergy testing results tell you to what degree they are allergic to something----none, low, moderate, or highly allergic).
We have had to eliminate all dairy products and substitute soy and other similar products in place. We eliminated all gluten, wheat and other common items. It is difficult & requires much more time planning & preparing meals. Never the less, since we have improved the diet her violent and aggressive behavior have just about disappeared
A few weeks ago we splurged and had pizza on a Friday, Saturday, and Sunday......wow, did we ever pay the consequences!.....our daughter went ballistic for about four or five days......back to her same ole ways. We had to lock her in her room quite frequently.
Anyway, the food allergy testing and diet modification has seemed to help. We are now giving her special supplements based upon what the testing told us she needed in her diet. Her behaviors have improved substantially.
i wish you the best.
Soy gives my family (3 aspies) the runs, well, not it's not so bad to me but my mother and my husband can't really eat much of it at all.
Too bad, as we had just found the BEST tasting veggie-burgers...
What wrong with the Boca Burger? They taste great!
Hmm, why not ask him about what happens at school? He might give you a one-word answer "fine", but try to get some details from him. It could be something going on at achool, but I think that recording behaviour is a very rude thing to do, unless it is absolutely necessary.
Did you offer him an alternative to attacking people? Maybe you should try hanging a punching bag or something like that in his room for him to release his anger and aggression upon.
Or maybe you can ask him what is troubling him through writing. You can have him type all about it on a computer and give it to you. It should be win-win situtation: He might feel better after ranting off and you get a clearer idea of what's going on so you can help him.
My advice is to think like him. You know, become him so you can see what he has problems with. I know it sounds hard, but you're his mother, you're the one who (even though some might disagree on their own) should understand him better than anyone else. This will help you control him, and I don't mean by taking advantage of him. Really, I've never encountered a person who was diagnosed with Autism alone, so I wouldn't know, but this is just my opinion.
Hmm, why not ask him about what happens at school? He might give you a one-word answer "fine", but try to get some details from him. It could be something going on at achool, but I think that recording behaviour is a very rude thing to do, unless it is absolutely necessary.
I agree with Meiloyn that if he can communicate somehow - try to find out if there is a new problem. Perhaps get him to match a happy/sad face to pictures of his different enviroments or persons he is connected to might be a place to start. My daughter has a child for respite - his behaviour changed dramatically and everyone thought it was because of problems at home between the mom and dad which had gotten worse - In fact he was being terribly abused at school and the teacher has been charged. He is completely nonverbal - luckily the educational assistants turned in the teacher although it sounds like it had continued for quite some time before it was handled. At our school one child went through a very agressive phase when his medication was off - once regulated it improved a lot. I think it must be especially frustrating for teenagers if they cannot communicate their frustrations or needs effectively - he might be very frustrated and bored. A behaviour analysis to try to determine the trigger or cause would seem in order vs only trying to medicate it out even though I agree something has to be done now if possible so no one is hurt.
You theorize that the last meltdown was caused by him banging an elbow on something... Maybe your son's triggers are primarily physical (as opposed to situational)? I know I was horrible about temper tantrums when my mom (who didn't know I was an Aspie) made me wear polyester sweaters or wipe the table with a slimy dishcloth or any number of things... Both of us still shudder when we remember the "Finger-Painting Incident" of 1994... She thought it would be fun for me; I went nuts when she made me touch the paint... Predictable results.
You know your son best... check the physical environment; see if there's anything annoying him. Talk to your Aspie kids; they can probably give you some ideas about what bugs them; they share genes with your autistic boy and might have the same sensory issues.
He may or may not pick up on it. People leave clues when they're upset and are trying to hide it that sometimes an autistic kid will be better at picking up. I can tell when someone is upset and trying to hide it because their movements are jerky and they do things more loudly... I don't pay attention to their tone of voice because I don't pick up on that; but their movements stand out like a beacon to me.
I hope this boy is doing better. 15 is not a fun age to be, and autism makes it even harder. Having a mother who loves you definitely helps.
...he soils during masterbation,that I can manage, but these outbursts are out of control...
WHAT?????????
I thought there was too much emphasis on diet for this boy. He should be able to have more normal foods like the other kids (unless he has a lot of allergies or food intolerances that have been medically proven).
His mum must know about bowel movements because it seems that she was saying that her boy still poos his pants every day. She says she feels cross (as many parents would) but hides it: I think this boy would still pick up on her real feelings and this would resonate with him.
He seems very big to still be having accidents but I don't know how high-functioning he is.
There most certainly WAS too much emphasis on diet.
I have the same thing with my 14 year old daughter she is getting aggressive toward all members of the family including our dog. I came home from shopping recently and she had my wife bailed up in the kitchen with a knife. I was just lucky that i happened to walk in at the right time to disarm her as i fear she may have stabbed wife.
What concerns me more is that we are adults and can fend for ourselves but what happens if she takes the same course of action with her younger sister who is only 8.
It is a very scary thought.
WHAT?????????
Is your 14-year-old taking drugs or having stress? Those could be big contributors.
Soy gives my family (3 aspies) the runs, well, not it's not so bad to me but my mother and my husband can't really eat much of it at all.
Too bad, as we had just found the BEST tasting veggie-burgers...
I try to limit my soy intake, because Soy can cause problems in guys if a guy consumes too much.