10-23-2006, 09:53 PM
(I posted this previously in "Support" before seeing this particular forum...)
Hi,
I'm new here. I haven't been formally diagnosed as having an Autistic Spectrum Disorder, but after going through THAT rigamarole with my 5 1/2 year old daughter for the last 2 years, I have noticed many similarities between her and me. What finally made me think I have and Autistic Spectrum disorder, was the job I have now. It is very detail-oriented, the schedule is unpredictable, the requirements are unpredictable, and I am often given verbal instructions for one task while I am performing another already. It makes me feel very stupid, sometimes, even though my husband/co-worker/manager is another very likely ASD person.
Do any of these traits sound familiar? If so, are any of them indications of an ASD? (No way can I afford a formal diagnosis right now; only children's evaluations are paid for by our insurance...)
- I hate being woken up suddenly at night. (new motherhood was very difficult...)
- I hate changes of almost any kind (of routine, plans, standards, furniture arrangements, etc.), although I have become expert at hiding my agitation over them, lest people think I am a freak- after all, most people don't see reactions like that and automatically think, "oh, I understand where this is coming from,"...
-I hate being interrupted- in conversation, in reading, in motion, etc.
- I have terrible memory problems (this is compounded by the fact that I am also an AMAC- if anyone doesn't know what that is, I'll explain in a separate post...)
- I am very sensitive to loud, harsh or sudden noises.
- I can understand & discuss something with intelligence at the moment it is told to me, but if it involves any amount of detail, I may forget it before I need it- tomorrow, or later today, or even 5 seconds from now (related to noises? am I unconciously trying to shut out sounds indiscriminately?)
- often ask for many and frequent repetitions of the same statement/answer (also related to the above?)
- seem to remember far more of what I SEE than of what I HEAR.
- I am very interested in what most people probably think of as irrelevancies or minutae (over-focussing??)
- You may have to physically touch me (unfortunate, since I prefer not), and firmly, or repeat yourself several times, to get my attention (over-focussing again? plus tuning out of oversensitive hearing??)
Oh, yeah, let's not forget about the social aspects of this:
- I tend to objectify people (I often- unintentionally- think of people as players in an elaborate game, rather than feeling beings, and I come off as insensitive, sometimes; I'm working on that...)
- I have very little patience for social forms
- I can't stand to lie, not only because it's not right, but also because I can't stand to say or do something that doesn't conform to my perceptions.
- I hate to go through the motions of an emotional reaction of any kind that I don't actually have, just to try to habituate myself to feeling that way; it makes me feel like a total fraud.
Stuff people have said on these message boards which I identify with (http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/phpBB2/i...ae2eb4df01):
"I have the problem that if I'm not interested in doing something I don't do it, or resent it so much I do a shoddy job of it." (Bob Bobson/Fri Oct 13, 2006 6:32 am)
"I need to write down what to do step by step with a numbered list or flowchart. Otherwise, after about 5 minutes of multiple step instructions I just get confused and my brain turns off." (M/Tue Oct 10, 2006 7:22 pm)
"I have this problem with stopping in the middle of something. I can't do it. I have an irresistable compulsion to finish it, even if that's the worst possible action to take." (Luai_lashire/ Wed Oct 11, 2006 12:41 pm)
"The way they are going, they are going to end up with a son or daughter having a complete nervous breakdown before they wake up to themselves." (tenaciouscj/Mon Oct 09, 2006 9:42 am)
"Oh yes, I forgot to mention- I never turned in my Educational Field Trip form for Forest Ecology (I'm actually not sure I got one, although my teacher insists that I did)" (Luai_lashire/Tue Oct 17, 2006 4:53 pm)
Some quotes from this website's autist wiki I identify with (my thoughts after the quotes):
"For those who are severely affected by "mind-blindness", they may, at best, see a smile but not know what it means (is it an understanding, a condescending, or a malicious smile?)..." (Autism Wiki) True, I find it very difficult to distinguish between nuances of expression- and sometimes I don't even realize I'm missing the nuances at all until I commit some major interpersonal gaffe- but 'severe' is a word I never really thought of applying to myself. Does this mean my mind-blindness is severe?
"In general, things with order have appeal." (Autism Wiki) I tend to be very orderly in the small details, but when I try to see the whole picture- for example, just how much of my bedroom needs to be cleaned- I get overwhelmed, I stress out, and I procrastinate ad nauseum, or give up entirely. Maybe I need to set lots of small goals for myself? Problem is, I'm not very good at organizing all the details into a coherent whole, so I might- for example- start gathering dirty laundry in the room, but then drop that when I realize that my CDs are sitting in an untidy pile about to slide off my music player, etc. However, when I develop serious interests, I do prefer things with a systematic and orderly presentation. (Note: The seriousness of an interest is relevant to my intensity of focus on it, and NOT to its usefulness in the real world.)
"What they lack is the inborn ability to express their emotional state via body language, facial expression, and nuance in the way that most neurotypicals do." (Autism Wiki) I tend to have VERY strong emotional reactions to certain things, but- as my husband says- I usually appear as though I am just going through the motions. That's really frustrating sometimes, because I hate forcing myself to go through the motions of a reaction I DON'T have, especially when someone wonders why I haven't reacted in a 'typical' (neurotypical???) way to something.
"Asperger's can also lead to problems with normal social interaction between peers. In childhood and teenage years, this can cause severe problems as a child or teen with Asperger's can have difficulty interpreting subtle social cues and as such be ostracized by his/her peers, leading to social cruelty. The child or teen with Asperger's is frequently puzzled as to the source of this cruelty, unaware of what he is doing "wrong"." (Autism Wiki) Oh my, yes! This fits my childhood and teenage social experiences to a 'T'. Except, by the time I graduated high school, I decided to just withdraw from social life in general. This could have been disastrous for me, if I hadn't had the options of choir and vocal ensemble in my senior year. (I have always loved to sing, hum and whistle, with tune or without.)
My similarities to the DSM definition of Asperger's symdrome:
1. Qualitative impaiment in social interaction, as manifested by at least two of the folowwing:
1. Marked impairments in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze (very difficult for me to maintain for more than a few seconds at a time), facial expression (mine are usually very mild and generalized, or very misleading), body posture, and gestures to regulate social interaction
2. Failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level (all of my friends are at least 10 years older than me, except for one; I don't remember gravitating towards children on other developmental levels as a child, but I do remember that my friends were very few in number, and almost all considered 'wierdos' like me)
3. A lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interest or achievements with other people (e.g., by a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest to other people (not sure how that would apply to me...)
4. A lack of social or emotional reciprocity (I forget to keep up with friends after I've moved [a continuity problem, maybe?], I forget to say thank you for gifts and favors, and I am often asked why I don't react to things in the same way as others.)
2. Restricted repetitive and stereotyped patters of behavior, interests and activities, as manifested by at least one of the following:
1. Encompassing preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and restricted patterns of interest that is abnormal either in intensity or focus (example: when I was in the 6th grade, I couldn't understand why not everyone was as obsessed with pre-historic man as I was)
2. Apparently inflexible adherence to specific, nonfunctional routines or rituals (I have to give my daughters the exact same number of kisses every night before bed, but that's about all I can think of for the moment; most of my inflexibility has to do with my FUNCTIONAL routines and rituals...)
3. Stereotyped and repetitive motor mannerisms (e.g., hand or finger flapping or twisting, or complex whole body movements) (I often flap the middle and ring fingers of both hands, or drum one fist gently but rapidly on my leg, or pick a small scab, or break or tear something small over and over again, or swing something in my hand energetically, or cut as many fabric scraps as I have old clothes for, or jiggle my feet, or draw patterns within patterns within patterns, or dig out hangnails with or without looking, or color in something adult-level (like an anatomy coloring book) or a few other things I can't remember at the moment, when I get agitated or excited, or very confused.)
4. Persistent preoccupation with parts of objects
3. The disturbance causes clinically significant impairments in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. (Never could keep many friends, or understand well the ones I DID keep...)
4. There is no clinically significant general delay in language (e.g., single words used by age two years, communicative phrases used by age three years) (I have always liked to use complex, adult, or uncommon words in my everyday speech)
5. There is no clinically signigicant delay in cognitive development or in the development of age-appropriate self-help skills or adaptive behior (other than in social interaction) and curiosity about the environment in childhood
6. Criteria are not met for another specific Pervasive Develpmental disorder or Schizophrenia.
More similarities to info on Autism Wiki:
"Autistic babies are often observed to stiffen when held. This is due to the sensory overload discussed above, and the stiffening is a coping mechanism which also occurs in adults. Because sensory overload occurs from birth, the coping behaviour is notable as one of the earliest observable symptoms of autism. However, it is not universal among autistics. There is great variation in the susceptibility to sensory overload." I've never been fully comfortable being touched by anyone, except my own babies (2 so far).
Hi,
I'm new here. I haven't been formally diagnosed as having an Autistic Spectrum Disorder, but after going through THAT rigamarole with my 5 1/2 year old daughter for the last 2 years, I have noticed many similarities between her and me. What finally made me think I have and Autistic Spectrum disorder, was the job I have now. It is very detail-oriented, the schedule is unpredictable, the requirements are unpredictable, and I am often given verbal instructions for one task while I am performing another already. It makes me feel very stupid, sometimes, even though my husband/co-worker/manager is another very likely ASD person.
Do any of these traits sound familiar? If so, are any of them indications of an ASD? (No way can I afford a formal diagnosis right now; only children's evaluations are paid for by our insurance...)
- I hate being woken up suddenly at night. (new motherhood was very difficult...)
- I hate changes of almost any kind (of routine, plans, standards, furniture arrangements, etc.), although I have become expert at hiding my agitation over them, lest people think I am a freak- after all, most people don't see reactions like that and automatically think, "oh, I understand where this is coming from,"...
-I hate being interrupted- in conversation, in reading, in motion, etc.
- I have terrible memory problems (this is compounded by the fact that I am also an AMAC- if anyone doesn't know what that is, I'll explain in a separate post...)
- I am very sensitive to loud, harsh or sudden noises.
- I can understand & discuss something with intelligence at the moment it is told to me, but if it involves any amount of detail, I may forget it before I need it- tomorrow, or later today, or even 5 seconds from now (related to noises? am I unconciously trying to shut out sounds indiscriminately?)
- often ask for many and frequent repetitions of the same statement/answer (also related to the above?)
- seem to remember far more of what I SEE than of what I HEAR.
- I am very interested in what most people probably think of as irrelevancies or minutae (over-focussing??)
- You may have to physically touch me (unfortunate, since I prefer not), and firmly, or repeat yourself several times, to get my attention (over-focussing again? plus tuning out of oversensitive hearing??)
Oh, yeah, let's not forget about the social aspects of this:
- I tend to objectify people (I often- unintentionally- think of people as players in an elaborate game, rather than feeling beings, and I come off as insensitive, sometimes; I'm working on that...)
- I have very little patience for social forms
- I can't stand to lie, not only because it's not right, but also because I can't stand to say or do something that doesn't conform to my perceptions.
- I hate to go through the motions of an emotional reaction of any kind that I don't actually have, just to try to habituate myself to feeling that way; it makes me feel like a total fraud.
Stuff people have said on these message boards which I identify with (http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/phpBB2/i...ae2eb4df01):
"I have the problem that if I'm not interested in doing something I don't do it, or resent it so much I do a shoddy job of it." (Bob Bobson/Fri Oct 13, 2006 6:32 am)
"I need to write down what to do step by step with a numbered list or flowchart. Otherwise, after about 5 minutes of multiple step instructions I just get confused and my brain turns off." (M/Tue Oct 10, 2006 7:22 pm)
"I have this problem with stopping in the middle of something. I can't do it. I have an irresistable compulsion to finish it, even if that's the worst possible action to take." (Luai_lashire/ Wed Oct 11, 2006 12:41 pm)
"The way they are going, they are going to end up with a son or daughter having a complete nervous breakdown before they wake up to themselves." (tenaciouscj/Mon Oct 09, 2006 9:42 am)
"Oh yes, I forgot to mention- I never turned in my Educational Field Trip form for Forest Ecology (I'm actually not sure I got one, although my teacher insists that I did)" (Luai_lashire/Tue Oct 17, 2006 4:53 pm)
Some quotes from this website's autist wiki I identify with (my thoughts after the quotes):
"For those who are severely affected by "mind-blindness", they may, at best, see a smile but not know what it means (is it an understanding, a condescending, or a malicious smile?)..." (Autism Wiki) True, I find it very difficult to distinguish between nuances of expression- and sometimes I don't even realize I'm missing the nuances at all until I commit some major interpersonal gaffe- but 'severe' is a word I never really thought of applying to myself. Does this mean my mind-blindness is severe?
"In general, things with order have appeal." (Autism Wiki) I tend to be very orderly in the small details, but when I try to see the whole picture- for example, just how much of my bedroom needs to be cleaned- I get overwhelmed, I stress out, and I procrastinate ad nauseum, or give up entirely. Maybe I need to set lots of small goals for myself? Problem is, I'm not very good at organizing all the details into a coherent whole, so I might- for example- start gathering dirty laundry in the room, but then drop that when I realize that my CDs are sitting in an untidy pile about to slide off my music player, etc. However, when I develop serious interests, I do prefer things with a systematic and orderly presentation. (Note: The seriousness of an interest is relevant to my intensity of focus on it, and NOT to its usefulness in the real world.)
"What they lack is the inborn ability to express their emotional state via body language, facial expression, and nuance in the way that most neurotypicals do." (Autism Wiki) I tend to have VERY strong emotional reactions to certain things, but- as my husband says- I usually appear as though I am just going through the motions. That's really frustrating sometimes, because I hate forcing myself to go through the motions of a reaction I DON'T have, especially when someone wonders why I haven't reacted in a 'typical' (neurotypical???) way to something.
"Asperger's can also lead to problems with normal social interaction between peers. In childhood and teenage years, this can cause severe problems as a child or teen with Asperger's can have difficulty interpreting subtle social cues and as such be ostracized by his/her peers, leading to social cruelty. The child or teen with Asperger's is frequently puzzled as to the source of this cruelty, unaware of what he is doing "wrong"." (Autism Wiki) Oh my, yes! This fits my childhood and teenage social experiences to a 'T'. Except, by the time I graduated high school, I decided to just withdraw from social life in general. This could have been disastrous for me, if I hadn't had the options of choir and vocal ensemble in my senior year. (I have always loved to sing, hum and whistle, with tune or without.)
My similarities to the DSM definition of Asperger's symdrome:
1. Qualitative impaiment in social interaction, as manifested by at least two of the folowwing:
1. Marked impairments in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze (very difficult for me to maintain for more than a few seconds at a time), facial expression (mine are usually very mild and generalized, or very misleading), body posture, and gestures to regulate social interaction
2. Failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level (all of my friends are at least 10 years older than me, except for one; I don't remember gravitating towards children on other developmental levels as a child, but I do remember that my friends were very few in number, and almost all considered 'wierdos' like me)
3. A lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interest or achievements with other people (e.g., by a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest to other people (not sure how that would apply to me...)
4. A lack of social or emotional reciprocity (I forget to keep up with friends after I've moved [a continuity problem, maybe?], I forget to say thank you for gifts and favors, and I am often asked why I don't react to things in the same way as others.)
2. Restricted repetitive and stereotyped patters of behavior, interests and activities, as manifested by at least one of the following:
1. Encompassing preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and restricted patterns of interest that is abnormal either in intensity or focus (example: when I was in the 6th grade, I couldn't understand why not everyone was as obsessed with pre-historic man as I was)
2. Apparently inflexible adherence to specific, nonfunctional routines or rituals (I have to give my daughters the exact same number of kisses every night before bed, but that's about all I can think of for the moment; most of my inflexibility has to do with my FUNCTIONAL routines and rituals...)
3. Stereotyped and repetitive motor mannerisms (e.g., hand or finger flapping or twisting, or complex whole body movements) (I often flap the middle and ring fingers of both hands, or drum one fist gently but rapidly on my leg, or pick a small scab, or break or tear something small over and over again, or swing something in my hand energetically, or cut as many fabric scraps as I have old clothes for, or jiggle my feet, or draw patterns within patterns within patterns, or dig out hangnails with or without looking, or color in something adult-level (like an anatomy coloring book) or a few other things I can't remember at the moment, when I get agitated or excited, or very confused.)
4. Persistent preoccupation with parts of objects
3. The disturbance causes clinically significant impairments in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. (Never could keep many friends, or understand well the ones I DID keep...)
4. There is no clinically significant general delay in language (e.g., single words used by age two years, communicative phrases used by age three years) (I have always liked to use complex, adult, or uncommon words in my everyday speech)
5. There is no clinically signigicant delay in cognitive development or in the development of age-appropriate self-help skills or adaptive behior (other than in social interaction) and curiosity about the environment in childhood
6. Criteria are not met for another specific Pervasive Develpmental disorder or Schizophrenia.
More similarities to info on Autism Wiki:
"Autistic babies are often observed to stiffen when held. This is due to the sensory overload discussed above, and the stiffening is a coping mechanism which also occurs in adults. Because sensory overload occurs from birth, the coping behaviour is notable as one of the earliest observable symptoms of autism. However, it is not universal among autistics. There is great variation in the susceptibility to sensory overload." I've never been fully comfortable being touched by anyone, except my own babies (2 so far).