Aspies For Freedom

There is this guy at work that keeps talking to me and I would much rather he didn't.

I would just tell him to leave me alone but I like to try to be polite to people as much as I can.

I definatly don't encourage him verbally, so I hear subtle hints via body language comes into play, the NT reads it gets the message then backs off, but mine must be terrible as it just seems to encourage him even more.

Is there anyway I can learn the correct body language that says "go away!"?

Is this person an NT who just chats to anyone about anything? These people are very annoying and are 'time-burglars'.

Could you say things such as 'Thats interesting, but could you tell me later I am busy at the moment'. Then turn away and busy yourself with computer/phone or whatever.

Try Amy's advice; if it does not work try the "blank reaction": keep a blank face and go
on doing what you are doing, answer with monosyllables. It is rude, but quiet.

You could also try chewing garlic (mind you, not good if you have to deal with a lot of other people too). Another idea is to be a bit blunt - "look, I'm really busy now so could you please be quiet".

I had an irritating co-worker with this constant need to chatter.  It may be helpful to analyze just why the person is chattering, if it will aid in getting them to shut it.  Maybe they are the type that needs constant primate reassurance in the form of chatter (mutual grooming is frowned upon in the workplace, chatter is tolerated).  Maybe they think they must keep up the chatter to be 'nice' or 'friendly'.
Maybe they chatterer is insecure.  Maybe they are a 'space invader' and the chatter is their way of marking their turf....   He'd latch on to other hapless victims and yap at them.  One victim complained "dude, he was making my ears bleed"... an archetype office water-cooler guy.

I tried a number of methods in dealing with this chatterbox.  A few times I got up in frustration, took my work with me and walked out, to a quieter working place.   A little dismissive but he began to get it.  I did another experiment.  This sounds loony, but I found that I could swivel my chair several degrees away from his intrusion and he'd shut up.  Swivel back, he'd start it up again.  I kept a note of the amount of degrees swiveling (azimuth) that it took  

Other times,  I would just simply ignore the chatter.  You don't encourage street crazies, same applied here.

When feeling less mean, I'd state I was busy and would not be able to help until later (etc).  That would shut him up for a while.  I can put on a bland expression, and let my voice sound devoid of feeling.

Just don't get in trouble with management for being dismissive or for not (horror of all horrors) being a 'team player'

This is an interesting topic for me since, despite my own frequently cranky reactions to unwanted friendliness, I have often been guilty of the same intrusive chattiness myself.  I simply love to talk, especially when I am in a good mood, and sometimes I am so entertained by my own chatter that I talk just to fill the air with my own voice.  :oops:   Maybe your pesky co-worker is like me!  Avoiding eye contact, which I do instinctively in the presence of unwanted friendliness, may get the point across.  Good luck...as chatty as I sometimes am, I also fully understand how maddening it can be to deal with people who intrude into others' physical & mental space.

Is there any way you could barricade your workspace a bit eg. with boxes or potplants?

Perhaps he is lonely.

Maybe comfort can be found in thinking yourself charitable  :wink:

Sorry... I think I'm relating with the irritating guy who cannot take a hint. That would figure... afterall, I always relate with the no talent wannabes who are mocked on 'The X Factor'.

Why don't you just take him to one side privately and tell him... in a kind fashion but firmly. If he still persists, have a word with management and get them to speak to him.

Maybe I could even be guilty of chatting too much sometimes (although most of the time I don't say much). But if the other person says (as long as it's sincerely), "look, I'd like to chat but have a lot to do right now", that's enough to tell me they'd rather not talk at that time.

I feel exactly the same way.

I'm usually quiet... but in social situations I can yap because of stress. If somebody told me straight (so long as they were polite) I would understand. Indeed, I often ask people I trust if I am interesting them or boring them... I do this because I cannot tell unless I am told.

Yes, that's a good idea.

You could pretend to be on the cell phone? I've been trying this one lately, I'll let you know if it works.

I actually like it when people talk to me like that. i always feel that nobody talks to me, because I'm "not interesting" to anyone. I can be very talkative and annoying myself, but I'd rather someone else start a conversation for me. I don't really like asking "How are you doing?" ar "Whats up?". But when somebody else does, I normally say "Good. But... blah blah blah....." All I need is a head start, and bombs away! And if I am talking about one thing that reminds me of another thing, i will switch to that subject. i called it surfing subjects after surfing the web.

My first thought was is he onthe spectrum too! Only in recent (last 10?) years have I understood things like Alexander the Great's conquest of Darius the Persian King or the real meanionfg behind the "Treasure Island"'s "DEad Man Chest" Song or the phrase "Buckley Chance" meant. I cringe at the instances of following people out of buildings with this "important" tidbit - that their life would be forever less meaningful unless they heard it.
Of course social convention dictates you do ANYTHING but say"Mate I really, really don't want you to continue with the story you are telling me now", funny thing is it would have been very effective and there would have been no hard feelings!

When some people annoy me, or I can't quite think of reply, I give them a blank stare in the nose so they could leave me alone. Some NTs I met get nervous and start thinking about what might be on my mind when I do that. My blank stare is where I just look at the talker's nose and don't move any.