Aspies For Freedom

In this week's issue of Real People magazine (a weekly women's real-life magazine in the UK), there is a story written by a 16 year old NT girl, Alana Dawes, whose severely autistic brother Jason was murdered by their mother Daniela in Australia 3 years ago.  He was suffocated and even though his mother was convicted of manslaughter, she was let off free with a 5 years "good behavior bond" (similar to US probation, no jail time).  It is actually classed as the "story of the week" in the magazine.

The article is very long, and as far as I know, it isn't published online.
It is probably still in the newsagents though.

In the article, Alana is very supportive of her mother's actions.  On the front page of the magazine, the headline says "Mum loved my brother so much she killed him."  This makes the whole thing sound like a 'mercy killing' - as if it is OK for the boy to be killed because he is disabled and different to everyone else.

Towards the end of the article Alana says how she told her mother, "I'm glad Jason died the way he did, because if he'd died another way, people wouldn't be getting help now."   She also talks about how the family have received letters of support from people saying they understood what drove the mother to kill her son.  At the very end, she says, "Mum has to live with the fact that Jason's death is her fault, but I don't blame her."  There is also a photo of the mother and her son, with a big caption saying "Mother's Love".

I am really shocked about the way the magazine has published this article and it is very offensive.  :evil:  It makes it sound like the whole thing was justified and that the boy is better off dead.   I understand that the mother has had a very difficult life (just before she murdered her son, her dad had died of a brain tumour and her relationship with her husband had broken down) and that bringing up the boy must have been very difficult at times, but I don't think it justifies her murdering him.

Edit - there is an email address at the end of the article, which you can write to with your comments.  It is features@realpeoplemagazine.co.uk

The thing is, I don't believe it should even be portrayed as a mercy killing at all.  Even though the article was very negative about the boy, it did seem that he was happy in his own way.  In fact, Alana does refer to him at one point as  a "boisterous, bubbly brother".

It wasn't mercy killing - mercy killing is a form of euthanasia. Euthanasia is killing someone in order to relieve suffering with their consent. Doing so to someone who is not suffering without their consent is no different from any other type of murder.

She has received no real punishment for this and effectively gotten away with murder. Taking the easy religious path and saying "let god sort her out" is greatly disrespectful to any child (autistic or not) who has been abused or murdered by someone they loved and trusted. Justice needs to be done.

Perhaps we should track down the names of all these judges who have given such easy sentences to child murderers.

This was not mercy killing or euthanasia and if it was done with the child's consent then it is still not. It is assisted suicide. There is a major difference between euthanasia and suicide. The former is a rational decision taken by someone terminally ill to end their suffering in a dignified fashion while the latter is a mental illness. I would not punish someone for attempting suicide, though I would punish those who assist. Should I ever become suicidal I would hope everyone around me would help pull me out of it - not push me into it. Thankfully i've never been that low but if I ever did and was encouraged by someone then after recovering whoever encouraged me I would ensure was prosecuted to the maximum extent allowed by law.

OK people. We have all had a good old time judging the mother........
Now let be a less clinical. The mother was given no support. She was dealing with a child who was not HFA, Aspergic or even mildly autistic. She couldn't cope and no-one would help. She snapped and did something horrible. Why was she given no support? In this respect what the daughter was saying about how people getting given the support is because of this horrible incident is at least something beneficial to come out of this tragic incident.
Did the child deserve to die? No. Should she have killed the child? No. Should this situation ever have come to the point where a mother is so irrationally balanced that killing herself or her own child is seen as the only solution after all other hopes of a reprieve have evaporated? No.
Would classifying her as a murderer or putting her in jail have done anything but sate the public's moral and ethical sensibilities of punishment? No.
Don't judge her so easily as a murderer.
Oh yeah BTW she is a friend of a friend.

There is never an excuse for a parent to murder their child. It is even worse when people think of it as a mercy killing. "My mother killed my brother out of love" ? That isn't love.

The most horrendous part of this whole story is the message it sends to other parents of autistic children - it is alright to murder your child and nobody will judge you for it.

Well I can only re-iterate what I have been saying. Excusing her? No. Justifying her actions? No.

Should she have considered trying to put the child up for adoption to see if anyone wanted to adopt a severely autistic child? Yeah perhaps she should.

Fellas, what I am not saying is that what she did was good, nice, right or justifiable. I am not saying that "the message she sends to society" is a good one.

What I am saying is that she was not coping. She looked for help. No support. She coped worse. Frantically looked for help. No help. She started to lose it. Manically looked for help. No help. Killed her child.

This is not a rational situation we as non-involved parties with no emotional attachment ought to so easily pass rational judgement on.
Parents of autistic children ought to be able to seek and recieve support and help. Autistic children ought to be able to recieve support and help. Society should not marginalise a group of people because they are different and hope they go away or perhaps things as tragic and horrific as this will happen.

I am not supporting wanton murder of autistics. I am not saying that people ought to feel justified about murdering us because we are autistic.
I hope that you fellas appreciate that this is not a case of cut-and dried murder and the "murderer" evil NT incarnate.

If you do at the end of this post feel the same as you did before, fair enough, you are all entitled to your own opinions - as I am mine. At the same time I hope my opinions don't upset anyone on this post for their difference.

I judge this woman as a murderer for a very simple reason - she comitted murder. She also happened to get away with it. I have rarely heard of a murderer being completely excused based upon their emotional state at the time of the offense (in fact, I can't think of another case where this has happened).

By not admitting the simple truth (that this woman was a murderer) you are helping to further spread the message that it is alright for parents of autistic children to murder them. That is quite disgusting to say the least.

Well I won't get too emotional on this subject.
What can I say Gareth. When you're wrong, you're wrong Gareth.
I am not spreading any message about the permissiveness of parents to murder autistic children. How you could read either of my two posts and come to that conclusion is a bit beyond me.
You don't agree with my opinions and that is fine by me. I don't expect you will agree with everything I think. I think that it is OK for me not to agree with your comments.
I suggest though it may pay not to presume to know my mind or intentions. Were I to give full reigned support for people to murder autistics, don't you think myself and my boy might then be "in the firing line"?
So perhaps the message you interpreted in my post wasn't the message that I was sending. I could have written it badly or perhaps you just interpreted it badly. Either way it looks like we are not going to agree. I won't presume to know you or give you a hard time for your difference of opinion. Extend that same courtesy to me Gareth.

Thanks TenaciousCJ I agree wholeheartedly.

It is unfortunate that the government and society on the whole is happy to turn their backs on people screaming for help. When they do finally snap, society turns on them for their wrongdoings. Why aren't things being done about it now? Strategy, funding, respite and whatever it takes instead of ignoring, marginalising and dismissing these people.

We had an incident at one of the high schools here the other day. The newspaper reported that a 14yr old boy stabbed a 15yr old and a 14yr old. The high school went public saying that their school never had any problems and the incident was an unprovoked attack.

Of course two days later it came to light the boy had been systematically and visciously bullied by the two "victims". He had bought the pocket knife to school in fear of another attack. He was on the ground getting s**t kicked out of him and lashed out at them.

The boys were treated in hospital and are not critical, counselling was offered to the twenty or so "spectators" that witnessed it, and the boy has been charged with numerous offences and has been remanded on bail.

Why was nothing done? Why was he viewed as the sole blame of the problem? Why did the 20 stand around to watch a kid get beat up again by two other kids? Why did the bullies get away with their behaviour (notwithstanding they got hurt)

If the kid had have killed them because of "snapping", like he did when he lashed out, should he get classified as a murderer and sent to prison for 20years? Maybe there are extenuating circumstances in some cases and degrees of assault that need to be looked at before judgements can be made and sentences given.

Kinda reminds me a little of another case...

Anyhow thanks again for your comment TenaciousCJ you're a champ!

You are stating that we should not judge this woman as a murderer. If she is not a murderer, then she killed her son without murderering him - in other words a justified killing.

I understand that you think she should have had more support, and this is something I can agree with you on. What I do not agree with you on is that this woman does fully deserve to be locked up for committing murder. She had other options yet chose to murder her son.

With the exception of self defence, defending one's own family or when working in the police or military killing someone without their consent is murder. Someone who commits the act of murder should be appropiately punished. I would have hoped this was obvious to everyone but I am sadly mistaken.

How would you react to the same situation with an NT child? There have been many other child murderers who have claimed to be mentally ill at the time of the offense. They did not receive the same sympathy.

Gareth I think its sad you are mistaken too. I don't think your view was outlandish, unthought out or irrational. I do think that it was narrow in its assessment though.

Yes you are correct that there are times that killing can be justified by the wider community. You cited self-defence, working with or in the military or police or defending your family as the exceptions to the killing someone = murder. (and of course the implication is murder = murderer = justified life/death sentence). Even within these exceptions though there are and always will be occassions where killings even in these circumstances are not socially permissive and will be considered murder.

Likewise there will also be occassions outside these narrow parameters where killing does not automatically equate to murder. An instance of this is legislation in respect to diminished responsibilty. (An example is a person not of an age to understand that they have committed this act - think young child killing infant sibling or intellectually disabled person without the mental/intellectual resourses to understand the act they have committed). There are also degrees of murder to consider in the prosecution of the offender.

The legislation which is wide in scope and has precedences of previous cases with similar circumstances can be used as a guide but at the end of the proceedings has to be decided by the judiciary, taking into account all the facts. In this particular case it ruled leniently in favour of the mother. The ruling I agree with and you don't.

I know you said she had choices. I would argue that she had many options taken away from her and in a deteriorating mental state saw fewer and fewer options until she saw only two horrible choices, irrespective of what others who may be totally removed from the situation at that time may see in a rational light.

As to appropriate punishment I don't think she will be dancing in the streets over her "victory". I think she is scarred for life and will certainly be ostracised by a large portion of the community - not by me though. Of course when considering appropriate punishment it goes without saying that if you consider her a murderer then the place for murderers is a life/death sentence. I don't and think that incarceration will do nothing for her, for the public, for her dead child or even for the public good.

I don't understand your comment about an NT child. Are you saying if the child was not autistic (NT) but severely *** and this same situation has occured, would I still be keeping my point of view? Under exactly the same situations - yes.

You agreed with me about the need for support and I didn't for a moment think that you wouldn't. The reason why I believed this is that I believe you are a reasonable and rational man. I have read a good many of your comments and thought "Yeah that's about right". Usually they are short and succinct replies not long and meadering like mine but I am trying. Also you have shown that you hold autistic people in high regard and this forum is and will continue to be a great avenue for Aspergic/HFA people to have a voice and be heard, etc.

I guess what it comes down is I don't agree and will not be swayed on my opinion and the same can be said for you. Irrespective of what you may think of me, I hold you and your site in high regard. I believe that Sensationalising the case in the media does nothing for autistic people or rights. I think damning the Mother does nothing to help build the social framework to prevent similar tragedies from occuring and the best that society, both NT and autistic, can do is learn and set up better support frameworks. In setting up these support frameworks they will benefit autistics which I believe is in everyones best interests.

Absolutely TenaciousCJ! Were professionals found to have the same skepticism against sexual assault victims because a minute number of women have made up charges, there would be an uproar! and rightfully so too.
There seems to be phychiatric closing of ranks in certain matters. Hard to prove neglect or mistreatment if the whole of the medical profession is prepared to back you up.
When I was suffering from depression - years ago - i was given anti-depression tablets which had an unusual effect - I became psychotic. Because of my altered state of mind, when doctors asked me how I was feeling, I told them I was fine. In this I wasn't entirely incorrect - I wasn't uphappy - I was just angry and voilent and looking for any avenue or excuse to be voilent. I cringe at some of the horrible things I said and did to this effect, and the bad situations I put myself in. It all culminated one night in a very bad situation where I really hurt someone. Someone who was not the type of person any sane person would have messed with. I basically had to relocate immediately to stop the reprisals from his "friends". I stopped the drugs then and eventually resumed a "normal/non-pychotic" state of mind.
My reason for bring this up is that the doctor dismissed the incidence and related behaviour completely out of hand saying it was just a stage in my depression and I should stop being silly and take my medication. He was defending theboth the drug and the pschiatrist would prescribed it to me.
Aaaarrrggghhhh! Oh well have a new family doctor now. He is no trouble. Shame he says that "There is no such thing as Aspergers or HFA. We are all just a bit shy!" LOL

Actually he is pretty useless but I like him. I hate going to doctors. I feel it is a big waste of time and I don't have a right to demand attention. I hate people fussing over me. THerefore I want out as soon as possible. He is friendly and kindly. I tell him what my symptoms are, what I think is wrong with me and what I need from him (ie medical cert or antibiotics, etc) he agrees and fills out a script and kindly sees me out. Perfect! (LOL) Oh yeah he bulk bills too. Pity I'm moving to Canberra have to find a new bulk billing doctor.