Aspies For Freedom

We're moving there for a change of scenery (it's in the mountains :wink: ) and because it isn't that far away from
family and friends.

I've always wanted to homeschool both of my boys,
but he seems to really like public school. He likes
being around other kids, but doesn't really "play"
with them. He tends to walk circles around a play
situation. He plays on swing sets alone, sand boxes,
trampolines etc.

Other kids seem to really like him though Im not sure
if he likes the attention, he interacts more with other
autie and aspie kids than NT kids. He seems to be
selective about his friends (I am the same way),
though he is quite fond of his brother whom is
NT.

My main reason for keeping him in ABA is because
he has made friends in that class, but I don't
like how the therapists seem so pushy about
his progression. Their ideas of progress are
a bit unbalanced in comparison to my ideas.
Where I see accomplishments, they see set backs :?
I have a difficult time understanding their methods...

That's what Im afraid of... The long term effects
and the possibility of it being a downer on his self esteem   

Do you have any suggestions
for an alternative program?

^This statement here pretty much sums it up. From what Ive noticed,a reward or "treat" is given for every compliance. It just seems so wrong to me(like stated before "pavlov".)  Don't get me wrong though, the therapists are very nice, but the program itself doesn't seem very nice as far as some of the intentions go...

I really like his school, but at the same time I don't understand some of their methods. He won't be going to this school next year because we're moving to another state. I don't know whether to let him stick it out in this peticular program and just continue with speech, OT and special kindergarden and leave out ABA?

I think marinebiology has a good point.  As parents, we use a version of ABA pretty much every day.

But, when it comes to skills that are difficult or uncomfortable for autistics, that aren't really necessary to their lives, it's ridiculous to use it.  And, for the most part, these seem to be the skills I hear talked about.

My son got so much happier once we let go of certain things.  He'll tie his shoes in his own time.  He only HAS to use his fork properly in a restaurant.  It's no big deal if he eats his shirts or paces during recess.  We work with him on sanitary issues (flushing, wiping and washing in the restroom) and things that get him teased (picking his nose).  We do explain why we want him to work on the behavior and, not having that many other tools to work with, we reward him or penalize based on whatever system we feel could work for him.

I think for more autistic children, there is too much emphasis on verbalizing their needs.  For some reason, this can be really stressful for certain children.  ABA fails to take into account the cost v. benefit here, simply believing this is a skill that is "necessary."

What helps my son more than anything is identifying his stressors and adapting to his sensory needs.  Eliminate the things that interfere with his ability to function, and most of the negatively perceived autistic like behaviors disappear, too.

My son's condition is only light Aspergers, so it's difficult for me to know where the lines need to be drawn for someone more severely affected.  But, you can find blogs by autistics and the internet, and discover why they felt certain goals were really harmful to them.  It's been interesting for us to read some.

We had our teacher conference for our son yesterday, and one skill the teacher had listed to work on was my son's perceived "stubborness."  She's a first year teacher so I'm not surprised she perceives a few things incorrectly, but I explained to her why I have a difficult time using that word for a child like my son.  He doesn't entract into a position because he wants it his way, he entracts because he can't see his way to the alternatives.  If you lay that path out, he can often change his position.  But, it's difficult for him to change paths.  I didn't ask her to, but she quickly erased that word from her sheet

Perhaps this is the problem with ABA:  it seems to assume the only reason compliance is lacking is stubborness.  It does nothing to place a new and clear path in front of the child.  It simply strives for a single result.

Does that make sense?

Yes it does make sense.Thank you :smile:

We're having to reschedule his conference.
I apologize for not updating sooner, as Ive
been very busy. The boys birthday party,
cub scout meetings, my work
and numerous other "to do's" Im having
to sort through...
We maybe moving this December
instead of May, so this conference
will be more of a discussion of
transferring records to his new
school, including what I think should
be left out in the future.

Thanks again everyone, for you
replies :grin:

It's been awhile since I've visited this forum.Sorry for this, we've been very busy lately.

Yes we're in the US. We moved from SC to NC. SC just isn't as resourceful as NC is in programs for autistic individuals. I guess it's all about money and how it's spent maybe?  My son is now in a program called TEACCH.  http://www.teacch.com/  
I like their approach MUCH better! He is writing and drawing, independantly and with his left hand. He's eating more foods than before. We also decided that since he shows such a big interest in music (drums), we will be getting him a drumkit soon (I just hope my hair doesn't fall out from all the drumming...lol!)
Thanks for the excellent advise all!  

*cheers*

You're going to have to introduce your boy to us when he is old enough

I most definately will!

I'm not sure what this remark is meant to mean. I'm studying psychology at the moment, and the term "operant conditioning" applies to a lot of learning - and is by no means always something deliberately enforced. It's any case where an action's outcome alters the likelihood of the individual repeating the action - so if you do something which causes a bad outcome, you're less likely to repeat it (like if you get burnt from touching a hot pan, you're less likely to want to touch it next time), and if your actions cause a good outcome, you are more likely to do them again. I'm sure most parents would reward good behaviour and tell their children off when they're bad - that's operant conditioning too. So what is it about the operant conditioning employed in ABA that makes it bad?

We had an IEP meeting awhile back (best IEP yet) and discussed goals. I've never been asked so many questions at an IEP before, I was quite surprised. We're focusing on his skills and interests, using visual support schedules and sensory exercise. At present, he's getting a good amount of lessons in art and music, OT and speech therapy, computer activities and some one on one table time (writing, puzzles, matchings numbers, colors, animals, plants etc). A friend of ours is helping us set up drum lessons soon and he will be going to his first music concert in a few weeks (well, not really a first, he has been to small shows and bad practices before).
I guess our main plan for now is exploring musical interest.

Well of course and we are consentrating on his studies at home and in school. This will take time, as it would for any 6 year old   I don't want to push him to hard because he needs sometime to enjoy being a kid. Thats why I got him out ABA. I worried about his self-esteem and the possibility of him loosing interest in school because he didn't like all the constant criticism. They always discouraged his stimming, made him 'work' for candy and said he wasn't progressing because he didn't talk (I don't think I'd talk to them either). His new school is more laid back in their approach and my son and I are scheduled for an interview at TEACCH in a few weeks (training for me and fun activities and learning for him).
My apologies if my plans were not clear. Focusing on music is something we're doing outside of school for fun. I say it's our main plan for now because that's his biggest interest besides school and it's good for any kid to have a weekend hobby after a stressful school week. Naturally our main goal is focusing on academics. Music is a minor study, although he may decide to make it his major in the long run.