Aspies For Freedom

Hi,
     I wrote last month about how worried I was about my daughter(w/ aspergers) would cope moving to middle school, and all the changes.I am happy to report that I had myself all worked up for nothing.
She is loving school!!
She has been placed in honors courses which i feel has made alot of difference, plus she isn't stuck in a class with the same kids all day, with the same teachers,and she has joined the choir and is wanting to join some clubs!!!
She has even expressed an interest in trying to tutor some of the kids in her keyboarding class that she noticed aren't reading at the level they should be by 6th grade.
It is so great to see her smiling and excited to go to school.
She is really challenged in her classes and she doesn't get bored which means she hasn't gotten in trouble either!!
thanks for the advise I recieved from you all.

I didn't post any advice to you as far as I am aware...

However, I am thrilled and smiling that your Aspie daughter is enjoying school and having such fun there.

It is brilliant to hear  :grin:

as you should be, i am so proud of my daughter, and most importantly she likes and is proud of herself. Thanks!

I wish my parents had been proud of me, and that I could be proud of myself. One of the clearest things I remember is my parents coming home from school meetings and saying how ashamed they were of me... and how my younger sister had to face my poor name and overcome it in classes.

I wasn't violent or anything... indeed I was always overly polite towards the teachers. My trouble was I did not co-operate if I didn't see the reason to do so. Autism was not heard of back in the 1970's and so there was zero understanding. They just considered me naughty.

Lack of self-confidence and abundance of self-dislike has held me back in life rather.

I really am very pleased for your daughter... and hope she goes on to have a splendid life and to have all the good fortune in the world  :grin:

I have had some family members who have "advised" me to have her act more "normal", I just hit back with something like, "oh like your kid, who name i just saw in the local paper for underage drinking".

It really bothers me how much parents and people in general can  make someone feel so bad about themselves and that carries over into your adult life and causes real problems, I know as i have (or am) there. : :mad:  I always doubt my ability to do anything, especially when it comes to raising my children, before my daughter was diagnosised, believe me I was labeled the "bad parent" because my child hadn't been "prepared" for the classroom, etc. :cry:
maybe we will one day live in a world of acceptance without pointing fingers and blame????? What a wonderful world it would be if people could appreciate each other for their uniqueness!!! :grin:

What a wonderful world indeed  :grin: - That would be a nice world to live in.

I've managed to be confident enough in my musical composing to have composed for several micro-budget movies.

Hopefully, you have broadband... I'm just sending you an example of my work... If you haven't got broadband... my appologies for causing you to curse your email software  :wink:

Hope you enjoy the Autistic music  :grin:

I do remember your questions, but I didn't post because I haven't been there yet, and I am thrilled it has all worked out well.

What a horrible thing for parents to say!  I am so sorry your childhood was like that.

My parents weren't bad parents... but like all parents they had their faults.

Throughout my childhood I focused on how I disappointed my mother and that, although my father had always wanted a son... I wasn't the sort of son he wanted (I didn't like sports or share most of Dad's interests).

Autistics often pay more heed to the negative than to the positive, I think. My wife and I are trying to be as careful as possible what we say to our children.

i think a lot of parents are that way, they have a preconcieved notion of how a child, boy or girl should be and real life just isn't like that.
I have 2 sons and both fathers felt that they should be football players, baseball players, jocks, jerks, etc. both of my sons are more on the artistic side, my oldest plays guitar, and my youngest just took it up, but he loves to draw. I feel we as parents should just love our children, teach them right form wrong, and do unto others and let them be who they are.
My daughter(& husband) had in the beginning focused mainly on the negitive and i kept telling her how proud of her I am because she is unique, not weird, she has a good heart and will be successful in whatever she chooses to do.
at times my husband will worry, what if she never learns to drive, what if she can't live independantly, I tell him no matter what you can't predict the future, I have friends that their son grew up, started his life and in a car accident ended up with a traumatic brain injury and is having to learn everything all over again , so don't ever let what others say your child may or may not be able to accomplish in life.

the music was beautiful, I can't wait for my daughter to hear it this afternoon when she comes home form school. she loves to listen to classical music while doing her homework.
She has been in a few small school plays and we are going to let her audtion for the next play in our comunity theater, she is a natural.

I think most people do.  Studies have shown that it's the bad memories from childhood that are most likely to stick in your head.

I worry about it ALL the time.  That my kids won't remember all the hugs and all the fun.  It takes like a 50 to 1 ratio before the good stuff gets remembered!

I do remember good things from my childhood, though.  A few I wish I was sharing with my children, but don't seem to be able to.  But, I think I remember every single traumatic experience.  Only a fraction of the happy ones.  But, enough to have always believed I had it pretty good.

I guess that's the best we hope for.

I do watch it with my kids, how I phrase things when I want them to work on something, or when I'm angry.  But I mess up.  I'm human.  Then I put myself in time out for saying something mean.  The kids like that; they are growing up with a firm belief that not even parents should get away with breaking the rules.  Just don't let them on to mommy's little secret:  mommy LIKES time out.  :wink:

Middle school was a big turning point for me, the enviroment suits me better. And 6th grade was the first year i got all A's and have ever since.

Lucky girl your daughter is! :grin: 6th grade was my very worst year yet in my entire life. I can't imagine why anybody would be mean enough to torment a cat lover. :cry: But high school is soooooo much better, thank goodness!

That is so sad. Also, it is really dumb to expect a sibling to retrieve the good family name.

Encouragement works so much better than criticism, anyway.

I also got into trouble for passive rebellion - I was usually a "good" child but if told to do something that I considered really stupid, I wouldn't get around to it. If pushed, I would argue the point a bit. Teachers couldn't stand it if any of their students were brighter than they were, either.

It's been the same at work. Most managers are happy with my work but the few who weren't couldn't stand not having a "yes" woman on their staff and were really mean and horrible towards me.