Aspies For Freedom

First I want to say hi to everyone and I'm glad to have found this site. Almost everyone is very helpful and friendly from the posts I've read.

My son, Matthew, is 5 years old and has autism. He is somewhat non-verbal,  but he will ask for things that he wants with phrases such as "Want cereal please" or "Ride bicycle outside". He is fascinated with letters and numbers, he loves to spell things that interest him. He goes through phases were he is obsessed with one thing for awhile, then moves to something new. He loves to dress up like his favorite superheroes. He loves his costumes of Superman, Batman, Spiderman, Mr. Incredible, and Power Rangers. He is in a special program at his elementary school, he has some good days and some bad days. He goes to regular kindergarten for one hour a day, but he doesn't always cooperate very well. He is somewhat hyper at times, but a very loving and caring son.

I have a few questions for some of you, if you don't mind.

Did you have a speech delay as a child? If so, at what age did you begin to speak in sentences?

Do you take medications for autism? Do they work for you?

Even though some may never speak in conversation, is it possible for some to type out thier thoughts with a keyboard? (I'm hoping to start this with my son in case he never speaks in sentences.)

Finally, I want to tell all of you that I'm praying for God to bless everyone here and bring peace and happiness to the ones who may be angry and depressed. God loves everyone the same. I also want to add that I think everyone here is brilliant, you make the world a much better place.

Welcome to the Forum Floodofnoise  :grin:

I for one do not mind in the least  :grin:

Yes. I had a speech delay as a child. I did not speak intelligibly until the school year following my fifth birthday.

My daughter (aged 5) has speech delay in regards to forming sentences and using words to communicate - though she has been echolalia-ing with good pronouncment since early child hood.

My son (aged 2... almost 3) has a more profound speech delay and has only just started trying to aquire words - let alone seeking to communicate or use sentances. His pronounciation is poor and he would not be understood by people who are not used to how he speaks.

He has recently (in the past two months) started using single words to request things. 'Sittick' = 'Biscuit'. 'Algomn' = 'All gone'.

I do not take any medication for treatment of my Autism. Neither do my two children for treatment of their Autism.

I was put on barbituate pills as a child... but that was before I was diagnosed with Autism... They never did figure out what was up with me when I was a child. Autism was bearly heard of back in the 1970s.

The pills were bad news.

I find it much easier to communicate in typing rather than in speaking. Speaking is uncomfortable because one cannot weigh or examine their own words as carefully as in typing. I have no problem gabbling on about my obsession subjects vocally... but I prefer the written/typed mediums.

I'm Asperger and had no known speech delay.

But I know of an Author who was diagnosed as autistic, who certainly had a speech delay and in his 30th decided to write a book about his childhood. Axel Brauns. A couple of years ago I was on an authors reading and except for being kind of eccentric most people would not have thought he'd be autistic - he learned to adapt on his own will.

As much as I know he was quite accepted, but his family did a lot to have him make a good school graduation (?). So there was kind of pressure for him to be verbal, at least enough to go to school.

As much as I know it may be that your kids will be more comfortable with written than with spoken words - time will show.

Good luck to all of you

Sibylle

Welcome, floodofnoise!

I'm afraid I'm a parent, and not really an Aspie or on the spectrum (although like many parents of Aspies I do have an Aspie trait or two), so I can't help with most of your questions, and others here are sure to address them anyway.

Thanks for sharing about your child.  He sounds so adorable!

If you have a good district, and are comfortable they understand your child, that is much to be grateful for.  We feel our school has been excellent, but I have quickly learned that our experience is far more rare than it should be.

As for communication, I wouldn't worry.  The fact that your child chooses to keep most of his thoughts to himself does not mean that his mind is not very much alive and aware.  Many autistics do learn to keyboard and express themselves quite fluently, and for daily life things like sign language and picture cards can be used.  I myself am turning to the keyboard more and more because I am gradually losing my hearing, and in this medium I am no longer disabled.

Interesting what noctavigus said about time to form thoughts and think ... I've often wondered what it is that makes many austics say they would rather not speak at all.  My theory had to do with sensory issues, and wondering if the sound of a child's own voice ringing in his head might be disturbing to him.  But, I can see how perfectionism may come into play ... that is a common spectrum trait, to not do what cannot be done exactly right.  ANYWAY, sorry, I'm totally rambling here and this is not an issue my family has to face, just one that has my curiosity.

I hope you will continue to enjoy the forum, as I have.  There are a few people around here who can be really hard on parents, and especially hard on anyone they see as NT, but don't let them get to you.  It's reflective of their own issues, not you.

What DW said.

I have asperger, so no speech delay.

DW, I feel fortunate to have a school district here that does try to be helpful. My sons teacher has a 10 year old son that has autism, so he knows how to relate to my son. My son also goes to a regular kindergarten class for about an hour each day. The teacher in that class has no tolerance or patience for Matthew. We had a meeting with all of Matthews teachers and the school principle last week and that teacher had nothing positive to say about Matthew whatsoever. Nothing positive about his future, nothing. All of the other teachers had great things to say regarding his progress and intelligence. His behaivor could be much better at times (sometimes he does cartwheels in the library), but he has taken the time to learn everyone's name in his class and to spell everyones name on the board. He may not talk very much, but he sure can spell!

Notivagus, you're a really friendly guy, thanks for the feedback. By the way, how do you upload a personal picture for you're avatar? I'd like to use a pic my son.
Matthew has never been on any medication for autism and I'm not sure I want to go that route. He does tend to be a bit hyper at times, mainly when he is over stimulated from noise or lights. He makes eye contact when you say "look at me" sometimes, but not always. He does flap his hands on occassion when he is excited and hums or grunts as well.

Do people with autism ever completely stop the hand flapping and grunts? Are there ways to help him stop or minimize the hand flapping and grunts?

Thanks for everyones help and support, I wish I had more free time to spend online. I will definitely come here a few times per week, thanks!

My pleasure

OK... Firstly you need to have the photo stored online somewhere.

Now go to the top of the forum where you will see a link called 'Profile'.

1... Click on 'Profile' which will take you to a new page.
2... Go to the bottom of the page to an area headed 'Avatar Control Panel'.
3... You will see a place to type in the URL (Internet address) of the picture/photo you want as your Avatar.
4... Lastly click on the submit button.

You should note that there are limitations on the size and amount of bytes your Avatar can be. In reality you are not exactly limited to quite the size the notes say, but you must make sure the photo is not to large or in too high definition. You may have to adjust the size on byte-age after you have scanned it into your computer before posting it to its URL on the internet.

Hope this helps.

I'm glad he has never been on drugs for his Autism. I would say, never let him be put on the drugs unless it is absolutely absolutely absolutely necessary.

Remembering autism was not generally known when I was a child... My Dad was once telling me off for something and I wouldn't meet his gaze. So he said... 'Look at me when I'm talking to you.'

So I fixed him right in the eyes. His response... 'Don't you look at me like that.' lol

The Autistic just can't win - lol  :wink:

Autistic people are all different. Although I make a sort of whispered clicking noise in my throat (which gives the sensation of making a noise without really making one... I don't grunt. I also have never hand-flapped (which is just as well because now I have arthritis in my wrists so that would be painful).

Some Autistics stim obviously, some less obviously, and some not at all. Its just like most avoid eye-contact whereas some are good at eye contact.

Some may grow out of hand flapping and grunting... some may not. It cannot be predicted.

Be careful about trying to force it to stop... be very gentile if you want to coax him out of it for his own good. If it doesn't make him bring too much attention to himself, or if he does it only at home or subtly... its best to let it be, I think.

It all depends on each particular Autistic and their circumstances. There is no rule that can be applied to each and every Autistic.

About things like hand flapping ...

I've learned here on the forum these kinds of actions are self-calming.  If you try to take it away, the child is going to find something else, and you may like that even less.  So, as Noctavigus said, be careful here.

My son is a pacer.  It used to drive us nuts.  We've now decided to let it be.  We're all happier as result.

The stuff that gets your child teased, however, needs to be solved for the sake of your child's happiness.  I suggest working together with him on it, to find alternate solutions and habits.  The more he understands why it has to be stopped, and agrees with you on it, the more you will have his cooperation.  It can be difficult for these kids, however, so be patient.

Sorry to here the regular K teacher lacks understanding.  Perhaps getting rid of that half hour is best.  Is it possible your son acts up more then because the environment doesn't suit him, and / or he can tell the teacher doesn't like him?  I've learned not to keep my son in situations with adults who don't like him.  It sets everyone backwards.  And, it's needless.  90% of adults around him adore him.  Why battle the 10%?  He can learn about getting along with people who don't like him later, after he's finished learning the other core lessons he needs to work on.

Yes, I agree. This kindy teacher sounds like bad news. Is it compulsory for your son to spend this one hour at kindy. Perhaps it would be better to not send him there any more and just send him where the people do like him. He sounds like a nice little boy.

I’ll take a quick response to these questions.

Did you have a speech delay as a child? If so, at what age did you begin to speak in sentences?

I for one had both a speech delay and a reading delay. I did not begin to speak in complex sentences until I was almost six, and could not read until I was almost ten.
However, shortly after that, at about twelve, I had a normal speaking ability and a reading ability two grades above my class. I continued to be two grades above my class in reading up until college.

Do you take medications for autism? Do they work for you?

I used to take medictions for autism, up until I was about seventeen. Though I still take medications, straterra for ADD, and Fluoxetine for depression, I no longer take anything for autism.

Even though some may never speak in conversation, is it possible for some to type out thier thoughts with a keyboard? (I'm hoping to start this with my son in case he never speaks in sentences.)

I’ve heard of a general description among those close to people with autism that they in fact find it easier to do things such as read, write, and post things online than they do speak with others.
Of course some have autism so severe that they can’t even do that, but I HIGHLY doubt your son is one of them. As he’s speaking in crude sentences right now at five AND he responds to you when you talk to him, I can almost guarantee you he is very high functioning. So just keep up the help you’ve been giving him and he’ll probably turn out truly functional. Maybe it won’t be as soon as you’d like, but it will happen.

Spoke at 10 months, almost too good. Very precocious. Of course, I have Aspergers, which, by t he way, doesn't always mean very high functioning. I've never been able to hold a job, due to being unable to multitask, the sensory issues bombarding me at work, and an inability to go from one activity to another and back again. I don't stim in public, although I do sneak and bite my nails, which is more acceptable. Never did flap or anything like that. My son has PDD-NOS and spoke at five. He broke from almost no speech to fluent, grammatically correct speech. He is doing great.

I'm not sure if what happened to me was a speech delay.  Up until I was about 5, I did not speak much, but I think it was a matter of choice rather than some issue with my brain.  After I did start talking, my mother asked me why I did not speak much beforehand, and I told her that I did not have anything to say.

On the other hand, I was reading by the age of three.  This all sounds very strange when most people hear about it, to be sure.

Today, I do not have too many problems speaking with people,  The trouble is, I find most people to be, well, boring.  It is hard for me to find people that I can talk with, who have interesting things to say and who can follow what I am talking about (I have a tendency to be pedantic and talk over peoples' heads).  So, I tend to hold my cards close to my chest when I meet new people.

No.  When I was very young, it was the late 1960s/early 1970s and I do not believe that there that much awareness of autism, let alone drugs to treat it.  Both of my parents are highly educated people and they never saw anything wrong with what I was doing.

Oh yes.  I believe that there are many people here who prefer to type out their thoughts.  I know I do.

-Ron

spoke at 4, first memeries are of a age 3 and 10,my baby brother was born then.so childeran speak late,big deal.no to the meds.

Did you have a speech delay as a child? If so, at what age did you begin to speak in sentences?

No, I didn't have any speech delay, I was between 2 - 2 1/2 years old with full sentences.
My oldest son who has moderate autism had a definite speech delay, no single words till just after 3 and no full sentences to nearly 4 years of age.

Do you take medications for autism? Do they work for you?

There are no medications for Autism/Asperger's Syndrome. There are medications for comorbid conditions like depression, anxiety, ADHD and such. I take medications for ADHD, clinicial depression and anxiety myself. But there are no medications that treat Autism/Asperger's.

I had speech delay, I was bearly using single words at 3, vaguely putting words together at 4, came on around 5/6.  My mum raised the issue of lanuguage delay and hearing at 2 to the health visitor.  They recommended play group, my mum had to be with me until 3 years old as I was too young to be there alone.  I started mainstream school at 4 and half and struggled.  We left England to stay in South Africa when I was 5 for 6 months.  I spent 6 month's in a South African pre-school, they do not believe in teaching kids reading and writing until age 6.  Apparently I loved the South African pre-school.  They do fun stuff with kids, drawing, painting, story reading and the like.  They also have the kids bring a pillow in and all the children have a sleep midway through the day (its a hot country makes sense).  Apparently by the time I returned to England at 6, I came on in leaps and bounds.  I caught up real fast and was reading anything and everything!  I was a quiet kid most of my childhood but could speak okay.  

Now as an adult my co-worker's are complaining about me talking so much (when I do), other time's I so quiet usually because of sensory overload.  No one can shut me up now!  I have verbal dioreahh (so spelt that wrong).  I use a 100 words for what some may use 10, have trouble organising my thoughts (in my brain ok, but comes out wrong!), I tend to go off on tangents a lot.  Typing is my life saver, on a down side I developed an obsession with text messages (I was sending in excess of 1000 text messages per month - even more when I was manic because of meds).  

As for med's, I had a bad time of it with them.  A lot of parent's swear by diet, in truth that worked for my sister.  My mum found cutting out artificial colourings, preservatives and flavourings to have a marked effect.  My sister was also on gluten, diary free diet for first few years (however your son does not sound like he had the behaviour problem's my sister had).  

As for the 'look me in they eye' I find for me eye contact improves naturally. I hate when people say look at me etc, its may be better to sit along side him and talk to him, avoiding eye contact.  Read some of the thread's on here about eye contact.  It is really something a lot of us cannot control, I certainly can't - physical and sensory thing.  I also feel uncomfortable if people stare at me.