Bad day.
In health class I had to fill out a self-esteem questionere type thing(that to me is unfair to aspies, not that that is important). It told me that I have "presence of profound low self-esteem. Seek out profestional aid."
Well THAT will make you feel good about yourself :roll:
Then later in the day, I did so terrible on a presentation. I'm usualy prety pathetic but this was even beyond pathetic. I think I was actualy almost stuttering. :oops: :cry: :'-( I freaked out so much I was practicaly chokeing my book(it actualy began ripping in half. and I held my hands clenced around the book for so long, that I couldnot move them for about 45 minutes. I of course got a bunch of junk from my teacher about how everyone has something embaresing. :roll: ugg. I just want the day to end. But it can't still have to practice viola fro an hour and violin for an hour, then fit in about an hour of homework and then have viola lesson for half an hour.
Well... you can pretty much figure that tomorrow's gotta be better.
I remember those horrible presentations. I always have sucked at public speaking (and still do). And now I'm a teacher. Go figure.
I think self-esteem is over-rated, personally.
I mean, there's a lot more important things to measure...
(don't ask me what just now... maybe later when I'm more awake...)
Take care and keep us posted.
They shouldnt hand out questionnaires like that without any follow up. Its very unfair.
I don't think the teacher should've made you give the presentation, if you made it clear it would lead to an emotional breakdown. They never understand, it's happened to me. After awhile of being virtually ignored and unsympathized with about it, I'd just run out of the class crying. There's no reason they should emotionally abuse someone like that.
I don't think the teacher should've made you give the presentation, if you made it clear it would lead to an emotional breakdown. They never understand, it's happened to me. After awhile of being virtually ignored and unsympathized with about it, I'd just run out of the class crying. There's no reason they should emotionally abuse someone like that.
Unfotunately many teachers probably would refuse to accept that it would actually happen.... they would just say, "it's nerves, you'll get over it, you'll be fine, happens to everyone" and when you actually *do* run out of the class crying, it's suddenly your fault- "you overreacted, it can't have been that bad, next time it will be better, ect..."
I have asked teachers before if I can get away with not presenting.... unfortunately their view was, "You have to present so you'll get over your fear and be ready for college" and also "It's too large a part of your grade, I can't judge it properly unless you present". They don't get that this isn't something you "get over" but something that stays with you and is absolutely terrifying. They are unwilling to comprosmise because we cannot make clear how incredibly important this is they place our happiness at a lower priority to their convienence.
I think this is a place where Amy's "new method of comunication" might prove useful, if we can make it work.
I get what you're saying. Still, I'd like to know how presenting something in a class full of giggling NTs, prepares someone for college, where one would assume the students would be more well behaved.
"I get what you're saying. Still, I'd like to know how presenting something in a class full of giggling NTs, prepares someone for college, where one would assume the students would be more well behaved."
They aren't always better in college. I was kicked out of a college i went to. I wasn't diagnosed with AS or anything... and I told everyone that I wasn't good with social cues... and boundaries and to let me know when i was talking too much to people... and what did i get kicked out for? "Disrupting the student body" And when i appoligised to those people... they all said it was ok... which was so confusing for me at the time, because if it's ok, then why the heck was i being kicked out of the college?
When i asked the dean why i was being kicked out of the college she said i knew, and she shouldn't have to explain it to me again... And with that I had to leave the college... it was so freaking confusing...
WHY DO NT'S HAVE TO BE SO STUPID??
I'm now starting college again, (6 years later) and at least i have a diagnosis now to explain why i do some things i do....
the college i formerly went to, because i was an "adult" they assumed that i knew better... WHAT A BUNCH OF BS! The NT'S social skills were as bad as mine for crying out loud!
i had to fill out a survey like that during a "job search training" course,
and got the result, "i need to improve my self-esteem to have better chance of finding work"
I had 2 job interviews in the past year, and got no feedback at all, and all the others i applied for i got no response at all,... and my last job i was fired after 6 days for "lacking enthusiasm and being too quiet" how is anyone supposed to be positive attitude to finding work after that....
just getting me a job would surely raise my self esteem......
I don't think the teacher should've made you give the presentation, if you made it clear it would lead to an emotional breakdown. They never understand, it's happened to me. After awhile of being virtually ignored and unsympathized with about it, I'd just run out of the class crying. There's no reason they should emotionally abuse someone like that.
Unfotunately many teachers probably would refuse to accept that it would actually happen.... they would just say, "it's nerves, you'll get over it, you'll be fine, happens to everyone" and when you actually *do* run out of the class crying, it's suddenly your fault- "you overreacted, it can't have been that bad, next time it will be better, ect..."
I have asked teachers before if I can get away with not presenting.... unfortunately their view was, "You have to present so you'll get over your fear and be ready for college" and also "It's too large a part of your grade, I can't judge it properly unless you present". They don't get that this isn't something you "get over" but something that stays with you and is absolutely terrifying. They are unwilling to comprosmise because we cannot make clear how incredibly important this is they place our happiness at a lower priority to their convienence.
I think this is a place where Amy's "new method of comunication" might prove useful, if we can make it work.
I did not actualy say that I have dificulty with presenting to my teacher. By Then, she probolby had the info about my IEP, but there is not anything in there about presentations/speeches, she probloby asumed that there would be no problem. She probobly also had no inkling of an issue because it is an honors(more difucult) language arts course. The one thing I am realy glad of is that I got her instead of the teacher which is actualy in my "neighborhood"(portion of the school). He's the competiticve speach and debate teacher, and at one point was my fencing coach.
It realy is too big of a portion of my grade to loose, and it is requiered by my lovely state to pass the class. That was probloby my biggest upset about the speach.
Surprisingly not one person made fun of me, or laughed during my presentation, at least that I heard. Oh well, gues Ishoul prepare for reciting poetry tomorw(yes, in the same class). Heres the worst part, she wants us to read with meaning, inflection, and all taht, but she has allowed us to read out of a book instead of memorizing in like we had to, and the poem dose not need to be 25 lines like our summer reading sheet told us, as long as it had meaning to us. She will be realy looking for the good recitation though because she is the drama teacher. :oops:
Does anybody else find that practicing actually makes them more nervous and not less? I do, and find it easier to just say whatever on the day.
I would also agree that in college, students aren't always better behaved. Some of them are very rude and interrupt when others are trying to talk and the lecturer or tutor doesn't pull them into gear. It can almost be a case where you'd have to have a megaphone or something similar to make sure you get heard.
Havnt been to collage or anything but I am a terrible speaker if its something I'm not really interested in & there arnt alot of times you can talk about Anime for ur topic. When I was in grade 10 my class was split into groups of 3 & we had to give a talk, well I was so freakin nervous I forgot all my lines & I was literally standing there 1/2 way through the talk for 5 mins trying to remember & after awhile 1 of the people I was doing it with realised I wasnt going to remember so she said 1 of my lines for me & they all came flooding back. Which was nice of the girl but Im pretty sure she did it just so *she* would get a pass. Another time in grade 11 we had to do a speech for a made up deceased child, ahh hello we're a bunch of 16 year olds none of us had children & they were expecting us to give lots of emotion & crap like that. Needles to say I barely passed that assignment, only because my speech was well written, that was the only reason I passed I was figiting with the paper the whole time & i kept leaning from side to side.. The teacher wasnt overly impressed.