people always say things like "smile, its not so bad" or tell me i should smile in photos, or they get overly excited when i do smile like "omg, she can smile"
why do they do this?
i don't smile on purpose.. it just happens...
i don't think im looking unhappy at other times..
We (NT's) read a lot about what a person is thinking or feeling by their body language and expressions. When you don't smile, people assume that you are upset (or neutral), and I think we find comfort in knowing that a person that we are around is feeling happy, or that they like us amungst other reasons.
Is there such a word as "amungst"? It looks wierd in text.
I get told to smile all the time too. Now when I see those people who tell me to it's an automatic response. I think it's just a friendly gesture so the other person feels like that are liked in interactions.
It's spelt amongst.
I've gotten the same thing all my life. Apparently I look sad and glum all the time. I don't feel sad or glum most of the time, and I typically get that response when I'm actually really happy.
The worst part is for photos, when they tell me to smile and I do smile, they can't ever see it somehow. They keep saying "come on, smile!" and I have to tell them "I am smiling." it makes picture-taking a big production.
Amongst not amungst.
Most of the time I am neutral. I only smile if something amuses me, or it is part of some social ritual like meeting someone/going to an interview.
I have the opposite problem. I smile almost all the time, so people ask me why I'm so happy. I'm not necessarily happy (tho sometimes I am)--it's just that smiling is my natural reflex. Maybe I was trained in it early.
I get razzed about not smiling as well. Someone at work will walk by and say "smile"...etc etc. I think I'll get an enlarged photo of some insects face and mouth-parts for my office, and then caption it: "I am smiling". My quirk is that I like to at least appear slightly positive, but emotionally and socially neutral on the job. Of course, needy people will want to poke at me a littlle in order to get some comfort or a social transaction out of me. I prefer to smile when it happens, or when I want, and asking me to smile is a little annoying... viewed from afar, all this primate reassurance behavior seems comical, but I cannot always ignore it.
We (NT's) read a lot about what a person is thinking or feeling by their body language and expressions.
A flaw that can be easily exploited by people who make a study of these "expressions" and practice some muscle control. Those poor folks suffering from NT syndrome really should consider treatment and therapy to disabuse themselves of this weakness.
A flaw that can be easily exploited by people who make a study of these "expressions" and practice some muscle control. Those poor folks suffering from NT syndrome really should consider treatment and therapy to disabuse themselves of this weakness.
It is a tragic state of affairs that the majority of all people allow themselves to be tricked so easily. Indeed we should do as much research as possible, so that one day we might keep our children safe from NT.
Or in other words: 'You have NT? IIEEUUWW!!'
I get asked, "What's wrong?" or told, "You look sad!" a lot when everything's just fine. Apparently if I look like I'm thinking, that's supposed to be making me sad or something. *shrugs*
Who smiles all the time, anyway? I don't know any NTs who do, so why should it bother them that I don't? It's not like I'm frowning...frowns aren't even in my repertoire of natural facial expressions.
As an NT, I smile when I am happy, pleased, excited, proud, expecting something pleasant, satisfied, peacefilled. I don't smile when I am glum, unhappy, sad, depressed, tired, worried, stressed out, sick.
My Aspie spouse smiles when something bad happens to someone, or when he has hurt our feelings or has been cruel or unkind. At times of celebration he looks glum and depressed.
Hard to figure.
I prefer to know that the people around me are content and smiling. A lack of smile causes me concern for them. That is why I would ask if there is something wrong, or ask them to smile.
There's lots of people who make good money at being funny and looking weird. Robin Williams, Jay Leno, and Drew Carey quickly come to mind.
There's been lots of testing of infants that show they always prefer a smiling face to a sad or unhappy one.
So do most of us.
As an NT, I smile when I am happy, pleased, excited, proud, expecting something pleasant, satisfied, peacefilled. I don't smile when I am glum, unhappy, sad, depressed, tired, worried, stressed out, sick.
My Aspie spouse smiles when something bad happens to someone, or when he has hurt our feelings or has been cruel or unkind. At times of celebration he looks glum and depressed.
In some Asian cultures, it is considered extremely rude to not smile when giving bad news.
I try to respond with something witty and self deprecating. Like if I'm looking at my shoes, I'll say something like "Goodness! My shoes are soooooooo fascinating!". Or if they see me with an agonized look on my face, I'll say something like "Things have turned from bad to worse. I went through my entire sudoku book."
I really don't like having my picture taken and the best pictures of me are when I didn't know someone was taking a photo. Up until about primary school, I used to love having my picture taken so something changed around then to make me more self-conscious.