I get told the same things.
I hate to smile on photos I think I look very awkward.
They tell me to smile too, especially for photos. I just do the opposite and frown because of my stubbornness :grin:
I go through this all the time and when i do smile people say oh my god John is actually smiling for once.
When I was a child, I would hardly ever smile. Once I learned that was one of the reasons people would avoid me, I've conditioned myself to smile whenever I make eye contact with someone, even when I'm feeling awful. Now people still think I act in a weird way (waving, smiling and staring repeatedly at them), but at least I have more friends. ^^;
I've noticed some people laugh at me for doing it. I don't mind, really. Being funny is fine. As long as I'm not disrespected/bullied, I can handle that.
why does it matter so much to people to smile?
my facial muscles aren't in a certain position so I must of course be PO'd
morons, the lot of them.
Hi, all!
I get the "what's wrong?" all of the time, too. In meditation, there's a practice called the half-smile. I caught myself in a store window once doing it, and I looked smug as all get out. I now either smile more or don't smile at all.
My mother called me her "serious child," because I rarely smiled and spoke quite well and pedantically. My father used to ask me what I was angry about when I talked about something I was passionate about. I was surprised at that comment, but it explained a lot of the responses I had gotten up to that point. The "crossed wires," where a conversation just went all to hell and I couldn't figure out why. Now I know it's because my signals are different.
To be aware and to work at sending the right signals though is exhausting and not completely effective, because I don't read people very well. Some cues NTs send are pretty subtle and sometimes inexplicable. Ack!! Plus if they are flirting, I really don't get it. That just seems stupid, and it's not fun.
Oh, well. When an Aspie says "I'm fine," I bet 99 % of the time, s/he is.
Metta, Jaye.
My mouth's default emotion is a slight frown.
I hate when they tell you to smile. I smile slightly in some photos, but I HATE it when the cameraman tells you to "show your pearly whites". I don't want to! It looks ugly!
In class photos, I try my best to lurk behind a taller person with "that antisocial, unfriendly, punkrock band" expression at the most. But some cameramen like to pull me into the front, as if they want to fix the problem that "I don't get a chance to be in front".
In the working world, especially in jobs requiring customer relations or teamwork, trying to get along unfortunately requires "friendly" and open behavior, and when one doesn't have any other source of income, one does what is necessary to hold a job.
It was really difficult, and I made numerous faux pas in the process, especially when I didn't catch when someone was being snide or sarcastic. No matter what I did, I never did get anything other than mediocre job evals. I thought I had a character defect, and it was a lack of will or laziness or something.
Then as I started to talk with friends about things I experienced, I was struck by their amazement at the synesthesia, the odd explanations I had for other people's responses, the innocense I seemed to exhibit. They were also curious about my emotional responses. They were intrigued, and very tolerant, of my unique and very focused interests. I am very appreciative of them for that.
And they learned that a frown did not mean I was unhappy or tired. It meant I was playing in the circus that resides in my head.
Metta, Jaye.
In work I don't need to smile to be polite, just using good manners and correct language is enough. if I go somewhere and someone is smiling at me it's fake and it's only becaus ethey are told to do it. All i would want from someone is that they are pleasant, helpful and friendly when they are serving me, don't be artificial. I am a firm believer in old fashioned ways of working, spending time with people, knowing who has what in a morning and where they get on the train, where they get off etc. everyone who travels with me knows my routine, when we open, close, a trolley service goes etc and in return when things go wrong then I don't get an aggrevation at all.
I do feel uncomfortable smiling sometimes, especially when asked to do it.
If i'm told smile, I can not just do it on demand, I have to see or feel something that makes me want to smile.
I dislike having my photo taken for this reason.
I don't dislike pictures and do value them as memories ofthings I have done in my life, I actually take a lot of pictures when I go on holiday, usually thing sthat only I have much of an interest in but hey ho. I remember going to Venice, cost us 120EUR for an hour in a gondola and I spent most of that time taking pictures. Oops.
I don't mind people having a picture of me if it makes them happy then it's ok with me.
I like photography too, I just dislike having my photo taken, I know... I'm a hypocrit... Whenever I smile on comand its always obviously fake...
I get told to stop making silly faces yet i'm not doing. Or not realising it at least.
Your not the only gloomy one on here, we would get on well.