I'm in college and I have had a bunch of failed attempts in social situations. Lots of times when I have to talk with someone, especially if it is someone I don't know, I feel extremely overwhelmed because I don't know what to say and I'm always afraid that I will always foul up. I can't understand body language and I tend to take everything very literally and never could comprehend what they really mean. I always have a very hard time understanding jokes and I tend to take everything very seriously. It's like if someone was to say something that sounds "offensive" to me and if they would really mean it as a joke, I tend to take offense like they are being serious about it.
I hope I can get a job that requires no social interaction after I graduate with my bachelor's degree because social interaction and conversation is not even close to my forte and lots of times in the past others just would not attempt to understand me. The only thing is that the job interview seems very impossible for me because they always monitor body language and other non-verbal communication and since body language sounds gibberish to me and impossible for me to understand, I'm afraid it may destroy my chances of getting a job after getting my bachelor's degree.
Some universities can give practice interviews to get used to having them, can you try that, to make you less nervous?
Might be worth trying.
i think you are nervous being nervous. I've followed some presentation courses etc, and it helped alot. ALthough i am inside myself quite nervous, nobody seems to notice it...You should just be yourself, although you dont understand the others. It's better to act very oddly and imappropiate (sp?), but i think a boss will employ you because of your honest behaviour and funny appearance and most of all enthousiasm.
My university give extra courses about students who have problems undergoing an interview, i think every university should have one, because a lot of people even ultra-enthousiasitc-carpe-diem-people have problems with it....
ah, job interviews
i always thought it was really annoying how someone who is less suited to a particular job could get it over an aspie who may be more suited based on the body language they use at interview.
advice i've been given:
tell them about AS as soon as possible, and explain how it can actually be an advantage to an employer sometimes. (e.g if you're obessed with programming and seek employment in a software company that's an obvious advantage) - classic aspie story is everyone else is going out to lunch and they sit there just finishing off one last C function, or just testing out something etc
Agreed, in programming type roles, being a known Aspie could be advantageous, because of the "nerd" image. Otherwise though, even though we excell at any kind of technical role, it may backfire, as, a lot of people who are not well suited to more traditional technological roles, will resent the implication they are out of their depth, and that some "weirdo" can come in and do the job (far) better than they.
Here's the good news; companies are generally more open to graduates who can't yet be expected to "know the ropes" and will not take too much heed of any "clumsiness" you may display. They'll pay more attention to your qualifications, your ability, and your enthusiasm (they particularly like enthusiasm). Make a little effort to follow the rules and learn interview (and related) skills, as Link suggested, and all that remains is to understand that you are not imposing yourself on these people! It's not like trying to chat up some bird you fancy; if you are invited to an interview, it means these people like what they've seen on your CV, it means they want to meet you, and want to know more about you. Why should you be nervous? Just go in there confident (it's a frame of mind and it can be learnt if you work on it; you know you will be an asset, so why pretend otherwise?) and relaxed; new graduates get lots of interviews so just treat each one as a learning experience.
You at least have the advantage of knowing about this body language issue, and, if you've been paying attention, about the power games people in industry tend to play; 30 years ago I knew nothing of such subjects yet I still managed to carve out a reasonably successful living as a design engineer (OK, the enemy made sure few of my proposals saw the light of day, but in the meantime, they still had to pay my salary...) without being able to tap the advice of people who understand your situation.
Wellcome to AFF Bashful, and don't hesitate to ask for advice; much you'll have to take with a pinch of salt of course, but it's all useful information, and many of us know what you now face.
In recent times, where I work (a public service department), selection excercises for appointments and promotions have been outsourced to private employment agencies.
There has often been a thing called an assessment centre, which includes group discussion about a contentious topic eg. the "lifeboat exercise" where the group gets to decide who should be saved out of a group of people with different skills and attributes.
People who don't speak up, get offended and lose their temper and so on are marked down. That would probably include a lot of Aspies as I think we would struggle with this kind of thing.
I don't apply for promotions as I find it almost impossible to remember what I have to say in front of a selection panel (would probably be okay with just one interviewer, though) and find much of what they are testing is of no real relevance to the job.
People are frequently not told if they were sucessful or un-successful at each stage of the process and not given much or any feedback as to their weak and strong areas of performance. The uncertainty that brings would be anathema to most of us who thrive on structure and routine.
I think some of these assessment practices amount to tacit discrimination against people such as us and wonder if this kind of thing is common outside of Australia?
I did find that pointing out my AS was a positive benefit for my current job - graveyard desk clerk and night auditor at a major hotel. The empoyer was concerned about the fact that this shift involves minimal interpersonal interaction - which sounded like heaven to me! :smile:
If someone has a very good resume (cv), excellent academic achievements, writes a good covering letter etc that gets them an interview. Some companies are actually looking for people that are quiet, loyal etc.
Work experience does count. It has been suggested to me to tell people that I would be willing to work as a volunteer (without pay) for a short period (two weeks or a few months) to try out the job. I would get a written contract for this however. It would give them sometime to see what an excellent worker you are. You get to try the job. I usually like to use alot of written communication at work: menos, emails. When I do speak to someone, I am direct and to the point which saves time. Some employers may see that as an asset. Most HR people are either chatty types or people who are amateur pop psychologists. If you can by pass them and have some contacts by professors you know or others to the technical administrators, they will have the last say in who is hired anyway.
I'm not sure about the legalities of working for gratis in a business. There would be implications as far as workers compensation were concerned and possible ramifications if it were a fully unionised workplace.
It's still worth asking but if an employer refuses, it might not be because they're trying to be mean but because of all the red tape that would be involved.