What does being happy for somebody involve? When somebody says they are happy for somebody what does this mean? Is this the same as being happy normally?
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I think this is what i would call a reflective emotion. It is not like empathy, where you feel as the other person feels (so i am told, anyway), but where you feel happy as the result of a direct cause.
I suppose there would have to be a change in mood or a discernible increase in happiness levels to be able to specifically attribiute your level of happiness to whatever the other person has to be delighted with.
For me, it is usually the case that when i have 'been through' something with someone - by talking through their fears or listening to them talk about it for long periods, i feel a sense of investment in the persons success. Do i truly mirror their feeling? No, but having grasped an idea of their feeling through intellectual discussion of a state of mind, i am pleased that they will be able to experience an improved state, and perhaps the chance of future improvement as well.
However, i should add that this is really only the case with people that i know very well. If a person who i knew through a family member or becasue they cut my hair or something reported news where a response would be appropriate, i would feel nothing. I may say it anyway though, as it may make them feel good for having shared.
Being happy for somebody in my opinion is like this:
Think about how much they have wanted this thing they are happy about.
Would you be happy if you were this person?
It doesn´t neccessarily have to be a thing that would make you happy personally, but more like putting yourself in their shoes.
To me it means being happy that someone you care about got what they wanted or something that makes them happy. I wouldn't say I totally feel what they're feeling and I share their happiness, maybe I would just say that and I'd feel glad they are content of whatever.
Sort of like when I hear my friend's getting married, I'd say I'm happy for her because she's happy and wants this.
If you know someone you care about is really happy about something then you say that.
To me it means being happy that someone you care about got what they wanted or something that makes them happy. I wouldn't say I totally feel what they're feeling and I share their happiness, maybe I would just say that and I'd feel glad they are content of whatever.
Sort of like when I hear my friend's getting married, I'd say I'm happy for her because she's happy and wants this.
If you know someone you care about is really happy about something then you say that.
What she said 
I always figured it meant you are glad they are happy or it's something you do to be nice or show you care about them just by saying "I'm so happy for you."
It depends how close you are to the person.
For example, when I got into the university I wanted to go to, my family were absolutely ecstatic. Teachers were pleased for me and 'happy for me' as they like their students to do well but it wouldn't really have a profound effect on their mood because I am not such a big part of their life.
For me it just means being pleased that something that happened to someone I like has made them happy.
I don't think this works all the time.
Some guy I used to know commited suicide and my reply was "good for him" this angered alot of people in the room at the time.
My reasoning was that it was something he obviously wanted to do and he did it so I should be happy for him, but I must have been wrong.
I don't think this works all the time.
Some guy I used to know commited suicide and my reply was "good for him" this angered alot of people in the room at the time.
My reasoning was that it was something he obviously wanted to do and he did it so I should be happy for him, but I must have been wrong.
I think the problem here is that no one thinks suceeding at suicide will actually make them happy. Plus, when someone takes a step like that, you know they must have been in terrible emotional pain at the time. I think most people tune into the pain that would have occured before the event, and into the grief of those around the deceased. I don't think they would ever have seen it as you did, which was as accomplishing something that was obviously desired, at the moment, at least.
Interesting, though. I can see why you said and thought what you did, but I confess I would have been shocked, too. It's not how I think (I'm more NT than Aspie, with a son who is clearly Aspie). Is this another example of the different empathy thing?
I presume so. But then again I don't know how other people feel empathy so I don't think I could really say.
Would feeling bad for him be a more appropriate response? because I have just as much difficulty with that.
I think its OK, when you are not sure how to feel, to say that: "I don't know what to say in response to that news" or "I am having trouble relating to what goes on in that situation, so I don't know what to say or how to react right now," and so on. People relate to confused emotions better, I think, they relate to what they think are missplaced emotions.
For the longest time, I had so little experience with death that I was completely useless when given news about a death. I simply told people that: "I don't know what to say or how to react, I have so little experience with death." They were fine with that, and would find someone else to talk to about it.
I'd always say "that's so sad" or "what a waste" if told somebody had committed suicide.