Aspies For Freedom

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Females are confusing things. However... we are just as confused about guys, believe it or not!
Maybe she doesn't like to talk on the phone. I HATE talking on the phone.
I think its so funny that (NT)women have a hard time understanding men. I say this because men in fact are Far  more direct and straightforward about their intentions. I have a Very hard time understanding the way women behave precisely because they are so indirect. They often seem Dishonest and like they're concealing their motives most of the time. I cannot speak for ALL women but from what I have observed young women[late teens through mid 20s] seem incredibly insecure-Much more so than guys in their 20s. 10 years ago it kinda seemed like the opposite was true-but then again I was a teenager and so were my female peers. I have been informed though that being a woman is in certain respects a biological disadvantage-women really have to make the best of their youth because unlike men they can no longer reproduce once they get to be middle aged.
Perhaps Grumpier, but the younger ones are often snottier and get freaked out over nothing.
I can say I am definitly snottier especially with winter coming.

But I don't get freaked out over nothing. Infact I don't think I 'freak out' at all.
Wow M, that was truly BRILLIANT. And when I say that I am Not kidding. I wish someone had told me what you said a Looooooong time ago. Being young really hasnt been much fun for me for the Exact reasons you specified-I feel like my peers have everthing I want but dont have and like I havent accomplished enough.I suspect young women plan for the future because unlike men they will not be able to have children throughout their adult lives. If a men lives long enough, his reproductive organ will eventually not function. But theoretically a man can father children from the onset of puberty well into old age.
i just met this really cool NT girl yesterday. she was really sweet and generous, though some of her habits were annoying. she likes to hit people playfully. she also found out i don't like it when people clear their throats so she kept doing it and it was really irrtitating!

i ended up spending the night with her and i was really glad i did. i hardly ever spend time with a girl, so i took this chance to make it special. we got to stare up at the stars and that was great.

the thing is i don't have feelings for her. she was trying to help me with some of my issues. i'm going to try hard to listen and use the info for when i try to find someone. it's going to be hard though.
So dedwretched, did you actually sleep with her?
From my studies in NTology, NT women switch really fast between things. One day they really like you, the next day, they don't want to talk to you. The next next day, they may be clinging to your wallet, expecting you to pay their way one hundred percent.

Try a more one sided person, like me. ;D (Just kidding.) By that, I mean a person whose personality doesn't change so fast. I'm an angry, sarcastic and eccentric person protective of the people I love every day, any day.
The 'trying to not hurt your feelings' does rankle, especially when you don't get it.

Once at uni I went to my computer room at midnight for a quick check of my emails, and got talking to a girl I used to chat to a lot and valued as a good friend (and liked a lot besides that) on MSN. It went on and on, and at about 4:30am I said I hadn't noticed the time and had to go (a rare occurance, usually it's very much the opposite, people leaving first).

At that point she said she had to go as she had to be in work at 9am the next morning (I, being at uni, had no such worriesSmile ).

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A couple of months later, everything blew up in my face and she went off with one of my 'best friends' who also hadn't mentioned that he liked her and had lied about not being able to come and meet me to celebrate me finishing my exams amongst other things. (everyone was very surprised at this, not just me, no-one thought he was the type).

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Before I deleted them both from my life (good riddance! Big Grin), I referred to the infamous 4:30am conversation and said that surely she was leading me on by staying up that late (which her female ex-housemate agrees with me about).

She said she was just being polite by staying up talking to me for that long.

<rolls eyes>

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(incidentally, that was all a few years ago now, I'm less bothered about it these days)

Louise18 Wrote:
There are no hard and fast rules about how long you talk to someone on msn. It doesn't categorically mean they are interested in you.


True. But most people can tell you politely when they need to go to bed. You don't stay on "out of politeness".

Talking for four hours until 4:30am when you need to be in work at 9am the next day was very definitely rather suspicious. I would say I had to go long before then, even not on a work night, unless I was talking to someone I thought was pretty amazing.

Still, all water under the bridge now.

If you valued her as a "good friend" couldn't she have felt the same as you? Finding you interesting enough to talk to for hours does not necessarily mean that she had romantic feelings for you, or even desired to lead you on. Even if she did feel something, you say that she went off with your friend months later - attractions are liable to change over this long a period.

osunale Wrote:
If you valued her as a "good friend" couldn't she have felt the same as you? Finding you interesting enough to talk to for hours does not necessarily mean that she had romantic feelings for you, or even desired to lead you on. Even if she did feel something, you say that she went off with your friend months later - attractions are liable to change over this long a period.


Hmmmm.

It's a bit complicated really and requires digging back into the past. But since I'm not about to fall asleep I'll have a go.

At uni I was in a group of five best (originally) friends, with people who I'll refer to as P, A, M and C (don't know why I'm being aloof about names, but anyway). We had no prior connections before uni. I lived next door to M in my first year and we became close. Likewise P was just upstairs and the others close by so we all knew each other quite well. Things were good. P had had a long-term girlfriend and she is now his wife, so he is irrelevent to the story.

In our second year we got to know R and N, two girls from another uni. R had gone to school with A, and N was her uni housemate. When we met R was engaged to another school colleague of A and had been for a couple of years.

So the sequence goes something like this:

N liked C for a bit but that subsided
R was dumped by her fiancee just as she started her finals
N and I pulled once after some build-up, as did A and R on the same night.
A and N went out for a bit
N then disappears off the scene of visiting us due to this. Contact was maintained by MSN.
A and R got together, in what I described as 'the least surprising event in history' which got me into a lot of trouble as I'd been saying it when R was still with her previous fiancee.
The others all finish a year before me as their courses were shorter. MSN used to keep in touch with them all now at this point.

I kept in touch extensively with A, M and N throughout that year on MSN. A and R have been together ever since and are marrying next May, I think it'll be great. A and R are both pretty odd but well suited to each other. I narrowly missed out on best man to C.

Throughout the year I chatted to M and N a lot at the same time. M used to say when all three of us were online that 'maybe he should log off as I talk to him less when she's on'. I took this with good humour.

Time came for me to finish my exams so invited people to come and stay to celebrate the finish. M and N made excuses (M said he needed to be at home for Father's Day); the others made it.

A week later I got a text from M asking it I was OK with he and N seeing each other. When I replied in no uncertain terms saying I wasn't, they both came out with some almighty rubbish that I won't go into. The surprising thing was that M and N never even spoke those years ago when she used to come and visit...

---------------------------------------------

Anyway, as I say that was a couple of years ago. I have moved on!

The ironic thing was that she really wasn't worth it - uninteresting, not very bright, unambitious, didn't have any good hobbies to speak of, etc.

So I was in a sense lucky.  :grin:

Anyway, that's my big rant all done!

nah i didn't "sleep" with her. i'm waiting for the one i love. i think promiscuis sex is really trendy and it's being shoved down our throats. she realized that i'm waiting for the right one and nothing really happened. i admire her for that.
Haha, fair points made by those above, it was a bit of rant by me!  :grin:
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