Has anyone come close to understanding them? Anything they do or say. I talked to this one girl and she was very obvious that she was attracted to me. So much that the people around us were suppressing laughter watching and listening to her. She even gave me her number and gave me a brief schedule of her week. I call her up two days after and she is all cold and hesitant about wanting to even talk. What could have happend to make her change her attitude? Are all women this fickle? If so is it even worth getting involved with a lady? I've only dated one girl before and she was very direct with her actions and speech.
Myabe she was upset you didn't call her right away. If she was waiting eagerly by the phone... two days could seem quite a long time.
Alternatively, maybe she just thought you were cute and when you didn't call right away she forgot you entirely.
Perhaps it was simply a bad time to talk for her ... for any of a number of reasons.
I don't think you should assume she has lost interest until you've gotten more than one negative reaction.
Women are human. The stuff in our lives can get in the way, even when we have the best of intentions.
Although, yes, sometimes we do change our minds.
You don't have enough information to know which it is.
Hm, it's been so long since I've been that age that I'm wondering if Louise has a point ... could you ask one of the people that was standing around that day, if they thought the woman was really interested in you or just playing?
Don't give up, btw. Everyone has a tough time dating. It's the most ackward thing in the world. But, it is the first step to that really cool thing called a permanent relationship ...
I don't think she would be the type to do it as a joke. This was at a church also. I'll get to see her tomorrow and will know then what is going on. I can be blunt when I'm confused by people's actions.
I'm sure everyone is correct in assuming its her playing with me. I haven't been out with a lady in 107.75 months now. Well earlier this year a girl went out with me but she said it was only because she could tell I've never been out with anyone and felt sorry for me.
She's 22
There are many possibilities. She might have been disappointed that didn't call her the next day, after she gave you her phone number. Or, she might have been angry at someone when you called, or unhappy about something, or stressed out over something. She may still be interested in you, but you happened to call at a bad time.
Most women don't like to directly tell you that they don't want to date you. In my experience, if a woman doesn't want to date you, she will lie and say that she can't go because she has to [WHATEVER]. They do that because they don't want to hurt your feelings.
The problem, of course, is that sometimes the woman DOES want to go out with you and she really DOES have something else that she has to do that day.
When I was single, my solution to this problem was to follow the "three time rule". That is, if a woman turned me down for a date three times in a row without explicitly telling me she wants to continue dating, I assumed that she didn't want to date me any more.
If a woman gives you her phone number for the purpose of dating, I would suggest that you *ALWAYS* call the next day. Always, always, always. Even if you have a busy schedule and can't make a date with her right away, it's still a good idea to call her and let her know that you want to date her. You could simply call her and say, "It was great meeting you. I wanted to call and see how you are doing. "
If you can make a date with her then, do so. If your schedule doesn't allow you to make a date right away, you can say something like "My schedule is very busy for the next few days, but I would really like to see you again."
The point is to make sure she knows that you are interested in her.
I've found that a good first date involves something simple, like meeting her in a public place for a meal or coffee. Most women are cautious about men they don't know well because of the danger of rape. With this in mind, meeting her in a public place is often a good first move because it will probably make her feel safe. This was the approach I took when I first met my wife, and we've been happily married now for 10 years.
Has anyone come close to understanding them?
Give up. It is not about understanding them. It is not possible for a male
to develop a model to describe female behaviour. We have to get what they
give to us, if they do, and if they mistreat us just cope with it. Period.
We sort of have to repeat a mantra to ourselves: it is not serious.
By the way, to further improve your commitment to not understanding: you may
find interesting Susan Senator's blog, mother of an autistic and a maybe-AS.
Some posts are really worth, but others... what's on your mind Sue?
http://www.susansenator.com/blog/
It is not possible for a male to develop a model to describe female behaviour.
Why would that be?
Because there are hidden inputs and state variables. With experimental measures at the
known boundaries it is not possible to determine an input/output relation.
I don't believe this myself, but I have to share it just because it's such a great line.
So just remember, to me, the following is entirely fictitious but genuinely entertaining... Like a great line from a movie.
What do women want?
The exact same thing men want of course, power over others at any cost, including hypocrisy, coercion, and sacrificing of morals.
Asparagus, I hope you will update us on how this has turned out!
As for those who say pursuing relationships is futile ... don't listen to them!!!!!
It isn't just women who are complicated, it's PEOPLE. Getting any people to connect on the level it takes to sustain a relationship is naturally going to be difficult. And, yet, people succeed at it every day. We are MEANT to succeed at it.
I had a lot to learn for myself and by myself before I found my husband. But all those failed relationships ... I never became bitter (sad, disappointed, yes, of course). It was all part of the process, I can see that so clearly now. What is meant to be will happen. In it's own time and it's own way.
Well she was just being extra friendly. Thats all I can figure out. I've talked to her a couple times and she seemed less interested and just being polite friendly. She's more inquisitive then other people I have talked to that are just being polite though. It's nice though, most girls after talking to me once don't do it a second time.
Well she was just being extra friendly. Thats all I can figure out. I've talked to her a couple times and she seemed less interested and just being polite friendly. She's more inquisitive then other people I have talked to that are just being polite though. It's nice though, most girls after talking to me once don't do it a second time.
Hmm ... she may be interested, just embarassed at what she may have been told was overly eager appearing behavior ...
You know what? You have time. Continue the friendship and allow yourselves to discover what you have in common.
She probably was very changeable and unreliable and undependable; all traits that seem to be encouraged in people these days.
Oy, tell me about. My friend seems to be having the same problem at the moment, and it's QUITE annoying.