Aspies For Freedom

Sometimes the issue isn't about wanting to go to school or not. The issue is that going to school is torture for Aspies, most of the time. Why should someone be subjected to torture?

May I Add  my experience as a child growing up with aspergers?  As an adult, i find that trusting my own intuition is the best thing i can do. However, my intuition did not start developing till i was about 12, and it was not til i was an adult that it was good enough to use as a guide to what to do. Berit said her daughter is 8. An 8 year old does not have the capacity to make decisions on diagnosis or treatment for herself. that's why the parent does it.i do not see how getting a diagnosis so the parent can make an informed decision is abuse, altho for louise18 it obviously caused trauma. if my parents had had a diagnosis, it would have allowed them to make much better decisions for me when i was to young to decide for myself, and it would have given them a tool to make the school give me what i needed ,had they chosen to continue sending me to school.And yes, my parents abused be and i had the childhood from hell. and there was still a time when i could not make decisions, and having my parents do it was better doing nothing.

Sibylle, I've got that Nik Kershaw LP somewhere, plus a lot of other LPs, tapes and CDs with music from the 60's onwards. Collecting music is one of my "pet" interests.

Maybe I judge a bit much sometimes. It tends to come of being judged yourself and then passing it on. I really hate seeing toddlers and older kids with dummies for instance and think if the parents were sensible, they would have got rid of them after 12 months or so. I also hate seeing kids pressured to do too much sport, too much homework, or to be popular.

Overally, I'm probably less judgemental but I never liked seeing kids with dummies even when I was little myself.

Yes, they are also called "pacifiers" and some of them are downright ugly and clunky looking and make the children look "dumb".

Oh yes, I've heard of Binkies. The trouble is, when bigger kids still have them, they look really dumb. I think they're okay for smaller babies as they can be sterilised but I wish the manufacturers would make them more attractive looking (a few brands are a bit better eg. Nuk)

And if going to bed at exactly 8 was so important, couldn't you have taken yourself off to bed?

So we should really be aiming at treating people "equitably" ie. taking into account their particular and unique circumstances.

Mum and I get into some conflict when other people are around as I feel she patronises me a bit out of embarrassment that I might say something stupid. Her mum treated her the same. Even now that I'm heading towards middle age, I still feel like a dumb kid in her presence and yet intelligence tests show I am just as bright as her (at least academically).

And what's your answer to what to do with people who can't take care of themselves, like me? Euthanasia? forced abortions? dump them on the street and let them starve? just curious.

Interesting thread--I just finished reading through it.  Brought up all sorts of thoughts about my relationship with my Mom and what my teenage time was like (i.e. not good). I can't say whether diagnosis would have been a good or bad thing for me--perhaps some of both.  Being 56 now, it wasn't an option back then. It might have helped me and my parents with some issues, but it could also have made things worse--hard to say.

I never wanted children because I had no confidence that I would do better than my Mom, and her "best" was definitely not optimal. I do believe she was well-intentioned and eventually (I'm talking, like, in my late 40s here) I came to see the situation more dispassionately. And came to feel some love for her.  But growing up, I dealt with the conundrum of feeling hatred for my Mom when I was "supposed" to feel love.  And feeling fear at home when I was "supposed" to feel safe.  I can say that nobody in my life has ever come close to hurting me as much as my mother did.  So I can relate somewhat to Louise.  The best thing I did was leave home at 18 and move hundreds of miles away.

As I got older, I've come to see many of the good things I got from the way I was parented. E.g., a sense of responsibility, independence.  And I've come to accept that deep woundings in life can happen, and they don't all get healed. And you get to carry on anyways.

Seems to me like parenting requires incredible courage.

Yes, parenting does take a lot of courage and there are so many people ready to give unwanted advice. Thankfully, there are also some lovely people who are inspirational.

Strangefairy, I completely agree with you - a society is measured by how it treats its weakest members. Do we really want to live in a society which would leave them just to die or live in complete squalour?

I prefer euthanasia. It's faster and less painful.And yes, I am ok with people like me being killed as soon as they're identified, and i wish someone had done that for me as a child, instead of things getting to a point where suicide is so problematic.If we lose a few people we should have kept, that's better than allowing mistakes to live.

It's the people who make other's lives a misery who are the real oxygen thieves.

I feel so bad today that if someone offered to put me down, I would say "yes".

But life is looking a bit better today, thank goodness.