Aspies For Freedom

As these parents must be fairly old, if they have adult children, they may have been misinformed in the past about the causes of disabilities.

I have heard a lot of that too, and old wives tales.

There are still many who feel that people with downs should be put down at birth sadly. It's going to be a long time before we "catch up".

Or who think they are stupid or mentally ill.

We certainly have a long way to go; good on you for making a start.

Those views, while ostensibly positive, can actually be extremely demeaning to the people they're applied to.

Maybe, but some of us don't feel demeaned by being thought of as people with disabilities because we know we also have special abilities. Unfortunately, in order to obtain certain concessions on the job and elsewhere, it is necessary to be seen as being impaired in at least one or two areas. It shouldn't have to be like that but it is.

"Maybe, but some of us don't feel demeaned by being thought of as people with disabilities because we know we also have special abilities."

I don't feel demeaned at all by being thought of as disabled.  I feel demeaned by being treated as if I am an angel on earth when I am human like anyone else.  Especially when I didn't want to be human for a long time and tried to pretend I wasn't as a fantasy and was more helped by the reality than the fantasy.  It's like how American Indians tend to hate being considered 'noble savages who are close to the land and very spiritual' despite that being an ostensibly positive stereotype.  People have swung too far from one direction to the other, calling us demons and angels when we are neither, we are humans.

Anbuend wrote:

"I feel demeaned by being treated as if I am an angel on earth when I am human like anyone else."

I can't see what is demeaning about being treated *as if*  you are an angel.   I would argue rather that it is ennobling.   If everybody was treated as if they were angels on earth,  the world would be a much better place with no hatred,  oppression, torture, war etc.  

To see ourselves as gift from God is to look deeply into ourselves,  to see ourselves for what we really are.   So to see all others as gift from God is to see them for what they really are.

After further thought  I want to say that there would not be no hatred etc if everybody was treated as if they were angels on earth,  but significantly less because angels are hated.   But the world would still be a better place.

I certainly wouldn't like anyone thinking I'm an angel, or here for some great divine purpose... I've got a vile temper and a short fuse, plus the usual Aspie social issues.  I already feel really bad when I accidentally upset someone (which isn't as often as it used to be, but still often enough) without having the added responsibility of being some sort of advanced spiritual being who's presumably supposed to be nice and zen-like.

I think I understand what anbuend is saying. That talking about Aspies or Auties in a religious magical sense, is another way to infantilize Aspies and Auties. I'm not sure, but I think most people would not want to live a life where they're constantly referred to as a "angel", and "how sweet they're so childlike". It only reinforces that Auties and Aspies are less than a person. If they aren't a burden, then they're some kind of special acessory.

I guess talking about them like a small child talking about about angels and things, is better than them being talked about negatively. It still is saying, this person will be nothing more than a child. Or, they must not have feelings because they can't communicate them to me in a way I can understand. So the answer to that, is to talk around them like they're a precious little baby all the time. I don't know many people who'd stand for someone talking to them like, "awww aren't you a precious widdle angel. Aren't you so smart? Yes you are, yes you are!" We know that Aspies and Auties have feelings, and they can communicate them in their own way. We also know, that just like NTs, they don't want to spend their lives being treated like they're an infant.

Woodpeace, most people who aren't involved with religion (child-thinking), don't appreciate being treated like some sort of angel or different than human. It might make people like you feel better, I don't know why. It seems like the way a small child would cope with something, attaching a good label to it, clapping their hands and giggling with glee.

Most of us have spent most of our lives being treated as if we're children. We don't need some sort of little goo-gah, oooh they're an annnngeeeeellll, title attached to us. I know it's difficult, but big boys and girls learn how to deal with reality, instead of hiding behind cutesy-wutsy language. As well as hiding behind a replacement father-figure, known as God.

Peter Singer came to my city last year but I didn't go and see him on principle.

No it isn't. Don't believe them. Just forget that they ever said it.

Capra, I still have to read the rest of the thread, but I am pleased to say I really don't feel that I've met parents like those you describe.  I've heard of them, but they don't seem to exist in the world I've chosen for my family.