With out getting to deep into it, I was taught that a special needs people, like downs were special spirits, who were stronger and actually better htan us and sent here to teach us important life lessons. They are more loving than any other. And this way Satan couldn't reach them, they were always in the child like state.
I think autistic and aspie people, like us (Boy that something to get used to! :grin: are here for special reasons, too. We are whole, complete human being who are here for a special reason. Angels if you will. I know my son is an absolute angel with his autism and has shown me some great spiritual leasons.
If we were all perfect, had no problems, there would be no reason to care about anybody. Perhaps we need to be reminded to care, to get a better attitude on differences. Here we are?
I think the big cause of this is that western society in general has a mindset towards human behavior that could be described as "blank slate environmental determinism misunderstood as a defense of free will." One runs into this all the time with comments like "it's all in your head." After World War II the social sciences, ideologically-minded sociologists especially, held environmental determinism as unquestionable, politically correct dogma that was only challenged to a significant extent by the rise of evolutionary psychology in the 80s (which, right on cue, the ideologically-minded sociologists and their students started attacking as racist, sexist, ethnocentric, etc.). Environmental determinism also is popular in the political sphere, especially among Baby Boomer nanny-statists that want excuses to ban things. The strange thing is that people often prefer environmental determinism because they ignorantly misinterpret it as a defense of Free Will against "Evil Genetic Determinism."
I work with adults with learning disabilities, in self-advocacy and 1-1 advocacy support. Without exception, and I DO MEAN THAT all parents say that their childs disability/difference is due to a botched birth, i.e.meical profession mistake. When will people realise that disability is natural, ergo not a disability, not a fault, not something broken or missing, but a perfectly valid way of being, that needs no explanation, excuse or reason? Do loving parents make a problem rather than realising that there is no problem? and therefore make disability an issue, rather than accepting that people are people, full stop.
My daughter doesn't have learning difficulties, but she is autistic, has hemiplegia and spinal curvature. The hemiplegia was finally diagnosed last year after her neurologist did a CAT scan which revealed "damage to the left-hand side of the brain, which occured at or before birth".
I don't blame the medical professionals, but I do wonder sometimes if it was something I did/ate/drank etc...that's just a parent guilt trip.
As to being disabled, I don't see her autism as being a disability, but she is disabled in the sense that she can't run, jump or climb like other kids..in fact she's still struggling to be able to pull her own pants up. So yes she is disabled, and needs help to do day to day stuff....and disability does become an issue every time you approach a building that has no lifts/no ramp and a big flight of stairs.
Making disability an issue, ensures that disabled people are included in society rather than excluded by things like poor access (eg poor public planning) and lack of awareness by employers, transport companies etc. I could also raise issues about adult friends with learning difficulties who are not getting anywhere near the help they require to cope with living by themselves in the community.
That said 'being disabled' is not what defines my daughter as a person, she's a bright, happy child who enjoys life...and we both get a lot of fun out of life. There are "problems", but we certainly don't go out of our way to find/create them.
First, our culture is predisposed to assign blame. Everything "has to have a reason"--right? Aren't we indoctrinated with this from childhood? "I don't know why." is rarely an acceptable answer to give to an adult. It would be easy to lay it all at the feet of "religion", but I've met many a committed secular humanist/atheist who is just as much into the blame game. However, instead of "sin" or "the devil", it's some social group, like "conservatives" or "rich people", or "patriarchical institutions" who take on demonic proportions.
That being said, some of the responsibility for this can still be laid at the feet of the medical profession. The first "explanation" for autism was the "iceberg mother", after all, which placed full responsibility for the condition upon maternal mistreatment. Freud attributed homosexuality to damage done by a domineering mother and passive father. Then we had real-world events like thalidomide. Remember that? The profession's refusal to accept responsibility for its past errors only exacerbates matters. As far as I know, the American Academy of Pediatrics has never admitted responsibility for any deaths that might have been caused by following its advice to have newborns sleep on their stomachs (they have since changed this advice).
It's a coalescence of horrible social tendencies and the history of medicine.
No rational atheist would blame a disability on a social group or institution. The religious though sure do a great job of laying on guilt trips by saying things that autism is partly demonic possession.
Every person is a person. No matter who they are. Like for instance a jock and a nerd are different sub-culture, but there still people right. Why don't people get along with each other.
I don't think woodpeace meant to attach a label to anyone.
I am a parent of 4 children, 3 with ASD and a former Special Ed. teacher for 13 years. I worked with high school kids and I see exactly what you are saying. It is so easy to blame everyone but yourself and you might not be the cause either.
I am offended as a parent when someone says to me why didn't you stop having kids when you found out with the first one?!!! I do not look at my children as different as any other child. That is why I joined this site. I am not looking to fix them I am looking to guide them like a parent would guide their child.
There are still many who feel that people with downs should be put down at birth sadly. It's going to be a long time before we "catch up".
Methinks Peter Singer (who is perfectly fine with killing 3 month old infants) and other Utilitarians that believe that stuff is a good thing deserve to be "retroactively aborted"...
I am a parent of 4 children, 3 with ASD and a former Special Ed. teacher for 13 years. I worked with high school kids and I see exactly what you are saying. It is so easy to blame everyone but yourself and you might not be the cause either.
I am offended as a parent when someone says to me why didn't you stop having kids when you found out with the first one?!!! I do not look at my children as different as any other child. That is why I joined this site. I am not looking to fix them I am looking to guide them like a parent would guide their child.
Welcome to the Forums!
I have AS, and my eldest DS has AS...and what I hate, hate, hate is when people say things like 'children with autism are special angels sent from God', and that parents of children with autism are special parents!
B
uhh...could you clarify your position here...?
It's like how American Indians tend to hate being considered 'noble savages who are close to the land and very spiritual' despite that being an ostensibly positive stereotype.  People have swung too far from one direction to the other, calling us demons and angels when we are neither, we are humans.
Reverse discrimination is still stereotyping people.
My disbilities are a trial & tribulation, and people have to be angels to deal with me. However, I seriously doubt my onriness inspired anyone to sainthood.
hey, Welcome back DW! havent seen you around in a while..
I have posted about the angel thing, but common sense will tell you that not all Aspies have this mission (of helping others to grow spiritually). Others have it, but have "dropped out" of the lightworker role (being spiritual is HARD!).
I like what Sylvia Browne says about those with heavy life karma as it is true:
". . . and the more difficult the chart [life plan], the more advanced the spirit who wrote it. Please, please never look at another . . . and think God is punishing them, or that it's a sign of bad karma from past lives catching up with them.
Remember that they had the courage and exceptional spiritual insights to choose those challenges themselves, for some great purpose in this life, . . ." Many other respected people have taught ideas and realities incongruent/incompatible with the "law of attraction" over the centuries, so why do a great many mainstream individuals currently consider it an immutable law? It's not "black and white," people!
This from a man named Zany Mystic: "It only appears to us, being veiled and living in duality in linear concepts of time, that we are 'choosing.'
In reality, we are choosing what we already chose." "Our level of vibration, controlled by the heart chakra, attracts the highest experiences to us. And those experiences, for the most part, are emotional in nature--not financial or material.
The above is why I respect my Aspie daughter so much.
Capra, I still have to read the rest of the thread, but I am pleased to say I really don't feel that I've met parents like those you describe.  I've heard of them, but they don't seem to exist in the world I've chosen for my family.
Words like "all" "none" are red flags for ANTs (automatic negative thoughts)
I am a school-based SLP and I have worked with many parents of children with a varity of disabilities. I could write a book about parents.
"Parents" are as diverse a bunch of individuals as are blacks, jews, women, aspies, gays, americans, etc.
Lots of parents are in various phases of grief (i.e. elizabeth kuler ross research). they are to be treated with compassion and respect and given support while they work through this
Lots of parents are the genetic resevoire from which their children's disabilities were consieved. they are to be treated with compassion and respect while being given support to manage the system their children are part of.
Lots of parents are wonderful, have worked through any grief they may have had, are independently accomodating their own challenges, and are a wonderful assesst to everyone.
There are some bad eggs, just as in any group. There may be ignorance, low IQ, poverty, and/or despair in their lives. I try not to judge them (althogh its nice to have a good friend to let off steam to at times), but it is always in the best interest of the child to try to get the parents on board, so just keep trying. At least a pretense of respect is imparitive to do this.