Aspies For Freedom

Dont have any advice to offer, just want to say welcome to the forum Matt's mom *smiles*

Welcome Noctivagus, nice to meet you as well.

I have learned that Subatai_Baadur is 14 and AspergiaKidd is 15 (I think I have the ages correct).

Whilst their ages do not excuse their frightful behaviour towards others in this thread (including the threat regarding the chat room), perhaps our responses to them ought to take the fact they are children into account.

This should not be considered a reflection on other's of their age group, who I would usually respect and listen to as Young People.

Funny. When I was a Teenager, I was simply Depressed and Lonely, rather than angry. OK, I hated myself and hit myself and wished I had never existed... but I wasn't violent-minded towards others.

Good news

DW_A_MOM your posts in this thread have been completely insulting. You just write off opinions that are extreme or aren't yours to age. People like you make people wish their life away just to be taken seriously.

We are trying to prevent you from doing well-meaning things that for your child might be abject torture but if you are just going to say 'stop criticising us' each time we question the standard of your parental instincts communication is going to break down. This is an aspie forum, you aren't going to get people's views presented in a tactful and respectful manner if it is something they are passionate about.

Being a mother of an aspie is MUCH HARDER than being the mother of a normal child if you are not on the spectrum yourself. This means you cannot 'trust your instincts' and mum doesn't always know best. If we say something is bad parenting it isn't to pull you down, its to underline, emphasise, and put across as intensely as we possibly can that this is a bad line of action. Your best response if you think you are right is to give us more information about your child to support your decision, not say 'well I'm sorry your situation was like that but you know nothing about mine'. That is just more frustrating.

I don't know what the troller was on about but your belittlement of teenagers made me extremely angry.

And there I was thinking being angry was a quite normal state for a teenager to be in.  :lol:

Maybe you just found out the reason.

Nah... It's just biological chemicals wrecking havoc with you.  :wink:

All us oldies have been through it... puberty was around when we were that age also... hard to believe, I know - lol.

You should listen to the oldies... we might not be perfect, but we have a heck of a lot more experience of life than you. Teens seldom know whats best for them... that's why, if left unchecked, so many of them get into all kinds of trouble. (Not saying oldies are not able to get into trouble also). All life is learning by trial and error - whoever you are.

I am glad that you involve yourself with this section, Louise, because I believe you can provide valuable insight, but so can the parents. Listening should be mutual.

There's a difference in putting forward your perspective and being rude little imps.

From what I have read of your posts, I think you're OK... but other teens in this thread have been out of order.

Both my wife (NT) and I (HFA) regret a lot of what we did when we were teens and wish we could have a second chance with hindsight. When our children are teens, our hope is that we can help them avoid the pot holes we encountered in our foolishness, and so be better than we turned out.  :grin:

Parents work it out by trial and error... and SO DO the Teens at the same time.

Well I am 18 so maybe my communication style is a little more 'in tune' with parents than when I was younger.

I disagree with you though. I only ever took one big decision on the advice of someone else (a teacher) and I have hated myself since for it. It was the wrong one. When following what I think, I have always been right.

When it comes to daily things, I know (and have always known) what is good for me. Whether I do it or not is another matter but if teens were the only ones who ate too much *** and did too little exercise there wouldn't be the obesity problem there is in the uk.

Ultimately I know me best and I know whats good for me.


Edit: and btw I was done with puberty by 14.

Good for you. I've been 18 twice now and I wouldn't have the confidence to risk saying (in blanket fashion) that I knew what is good for me... since I have learned that, although I know more than many... I know so very little. The more I learn the more I realise how little I know.

So you have been 18 twice also  :wink: I haven't been 16 three times yet though... not yet.

Next year I will have been 14 three times though  :wink:

:grin: Hi,  I'm new here. I have questions about Aspergers because there is something odd about my child. :?:  He has already been to the genetic doctor several years ago. They said at the time Aiden was neg for Autism but that he had an autism like something. Aiden started off mostly deaf at 18 mo. when his earddrums ruptured but his hearing was tested recently as normal but at  9 yrs he still sounds like a 5 yr.  :boom:  He has a hand fettish about dirt & has fits if the shoes are not put exactly in the same place. Aiden has a normal IQ & usually functions pretty normal after the Adderall kicks in. At school he has a lot of social behavior problems though. When told to move to another seat in the cafeteria by a monitor Aiden punched that person. :oops:   :evil: Last year he escaped from the school building & it took 3 people to catch him with him kicking & screaming. I am a single parent so I have to work so it is very difficult to go to Aiden's ARD meetings luckily my mother is able to atttend.  This has become very stressful of late. At soccer practice he is having problems. His coach is too young to understand that some kids will have disabilities & play sports. They did get rid of the verbally abusive asst. coach that antagonized him. I am taking Aiden to a psychologist Friday so hopefully that will help. Aiden needs a med. change but needs a referral to a psychiatrist for that.  :mad:  :roll:

Genetic Doctor??? What do you mean by that? Do you mean you had a genetic test carried out? Methinks too little is known of the genetic influence on Autism currently for that to be conclusive.

Deafness could have had an effect on his speech development.