:? My husband and I are TRYING to raise a 2 1/2 year old toddler who has been diagnosed with ASD. I have started working from home 1/2 time and going in to work when my husband gets home in the evening for the rest. Today has been very trying. I need to talk to someone who is going through this now and may have more experience than I do. I am not even sure at 51 years of age that I can do this. HELP. I forgot to mention that this is our only grandchild and we love him dearly.
Susie
I only work about 2-3 evenings when my husband gets home and only for a few hours. I believe those hours away are good for me. I am back before bedtime. Any suggestions. Do you have a child with ASD? I have raised 3 normal developing children and didn't know how easy I had it until the last 2 1/2 years. He has lived with us since birth.
We have a therapist that comes once a week. I tried a childcare facility but it was horrible even though they said that had worked with autistic children in the past. Taylor is very active. He doesn't seem to stop unless he is watching a video (Veggie Tales) that he is interested in. Other than that, it's go, go, go! He has been a good sleeper from the get go until just of late when I put him down for his nap which he needs desperately and so do I-he takes his diaper off. Well, I have to take care of that and then he's up and adam again. His language is delayed, but he "talks" all the time. He can say some words and knows some 2-3 word sentences that he hears us say all the time-I love you is one of them. He loves to shred paper and tear up books. He is very affectionate and even likes to be with others (mostly adults). Sometimes, I feel as if we should put him up for adoption because I am not sure I can do all this. My health has been very poor over the last year and am facing more surgery for a bad kidney. I cannot even believe I would ever say the word adoption but how do you get to age 13 without losing your mind? What is your son like and what was he like at 2-3?
I am not offended in any way by your comments. You must have missed the part that this is our grandson, not our son. We are in our 50's, which is a lot different than being in my 20's or 30's when I was raising a family-husband and 3 children. Today was an awful day for Taylor. Not sure why. So, I am looking for help. Giving up a grandchild or a child to adoption even for the right reasons would be hard to do, and like I said-"I can't believe I even said the word adoption, I still can't. It's the frustration or not knowing what to do when these meltdowns come and he is stronger than me. I just want to know if it gets better with time and age? He has been diagnosed as ASD, not Asperger's. No one (doctors) has even mentioned Asperger's to us. WIth what I have read about Asperger's, it's a better outcome than classic ASD. No, this daycare was not specifically for ASD children and no, quite the opposite, he was with normal developing children all day. This only lasted for two days before I stopped working full time and asked my employer to allow me to work from home at least half the time. I don't even know if someone with a chld who is diagnosed with Asperger's can really appreciate what classic Autism is like. Seems they are two very different thing all together. I thought this site was for help, it doesn't seem that way.
Thanks for the input. Just to clear things up, our daughter was unmarried and pregnant at 19. She is now 22, but has the maturity of a 16 year old-looing for love in all the wrong places and people. Her lifestyle is very bad and she doesn't take care of Taylor like she should. She was living with us, but left home. Even when she was here, I did most of the work of attending to our grandson's needs. He really sees me as "mom". I thought those days were over for me too, but you see, God had another idea. We don't always choose, sometimes the choice is made for us. I pray she will mature and come back to take care of Taylor, in the meantime I will to the best of my ability. A good night's sleep certainly helps. If anyone else has any other ideas, let me know. I'm willing to try anything for him and for my sanity. You're right, I could never give him up for adoption! I was just at a weak moment and that's why I wrote.
Susie
No, she has never had an eating disorder of any kind. She has been a very stable young lady until she moved out at age 19 and sort of "went wild". However, we really don't have much information on the father and he could certainly have had it.
My health has been very poor over the last year and am facing more surgery for a bad kidney.
Susie, I strongly encourage you to arrange for some help for at least a few weeks following your surgery. This needs to be a time of healing; you should not be doing the household chores, let alone caring for a young child, during that time. I'm sure you're already aware of that, but I sense that you're a little stuck in the logistics of the situation.
Here are some questions it may be helpful to ponder:
:?: Can your husband get some time off from work? Even a week would be helpful.
:?: Could you hire a maid to come in once or twice a week to do the bulk of the cleaning? Then if your husband can't get time off, he can still pitch in but he doesn't have to work two full-time jobs -- one at work and one at home.
:?: What about relatives? Do you have a sister or niece that could stay with you for a little while?
:?: Can you get a home health aide?
:?: Do you have any friends that live close by? Perhaps they could run some errands for you, like do your grocery shopping if you hand them a list and money.
Hopefully, these questions are helpful and not just annoying.
Take care!