Aspies For Freedom

Which reminds me of a guy I met in Scotland who insisted to me that Mars bars, Heinz baked beans and Wrigley's gum were British products!

I'm just pointing out that it goes both ways.

Cheers! I felt the same way about that comment. I had my first at 38 and my second at 40. And when I have grandchildren, I'll be thrilled to babysit any time I'm needed. Children are a joy.

I meant to imply that you can't discipline well or even teach what you need to teach if you can't summon the energy (based on personality, say) required. It doesn't matter how old you are! I myself had Hope at age 38 which is getting a bit long in the tooth fertility-wise.

Could everybody stop being sooooo sensitive and picky about word choice? Re-read the posts if you are uncertain of the true intent. Understand that I sometimes read and write posts while at work on the fly so "walk a mile in my shoes also" ok? This on top of taking care of an aging parent, so excuse me if I don't run everything by the politically correct board of review first.

There are probably 10 billion souls on this planet so we HAVE to develop a thick skin just a little or give the other fellow the benefit of the doubt.

If in spite of the above explanation you are still mad as hell I truly apologize.

As an energetic older parent I totally agree.
First at age 27
2nd at age 29
3rd at age 40
And would have another if I was able.

I meant to imply that you can't discipline well or even teach what you need to teach if you can't summon the energy (based on personality, say) required. It doesn't matter how old you are! I myself had Hope at age 38 which is getting a bit long in the tooth fertility-wise.

Could everybody stop being sooooo sensitive and picky about word choice? Re-read the posts if you are uncertain of the true intent. Understand that I sometimes read and write posts while at work on the fly so "walk a mile in my shoes also" ok? This on top of taking care of an aging parent, so excuse me if I don't run everything by the politically correct board of review first.

There are probably 10 billion souls on this planet so we HAVE to develop a thick skin just a little or give the other fellow the benefit of the doubt.

If in spite of the above explanation you are still mad as hell I truly apologize.

You may have "meant to imply" something else, but you clearly stated:

All we can do is read your words. Your words say that parenting is not for those who have kids "a little too late." You did not say "those who have kids too late in life OR simply don't have the energy," you said AND. What makes you think that young people are so full of energy with their kids? Often times it is the older parents who are able to do the most with their kids. If I'd had kids in my early 20s, I certainly wouldn't have been able to stay home with them, wouldn't have had the money to take them to Disneyworld, etc. Plenty of young parents are totally lazy, so even that sort of thing can't just be attributed to older parents.

You seem to be blaming us (we're too sensitive, our skin isn't thick enough, we're not working as hard as you are, we're too politically correct) rather than justifying (or apologizing for) your comment. I'm still not sure what the intent of the comment was, because you didn't explain. You think you were "long in the tooth" when you had your daughter, so maybe it's a personal issue with you. There's no way we could be expected to understand that. I think you know that the vast majority of people on these boards are not "mindreaders."

Could everybody stop being sooooo sensitive and picky about word choice? Re-read the posts if you are uncertain of the true intent. Understand that I sometimes read and write posts while at work on the fly so "walk a mile in my shoes also" ok? This on top of taking care of an aging parent, so excuse me if I don't run everything by the politically correct board of review first.

There are probably 10 billion souls on this planet so we HAVE to develop a thick skin just a little or give the other fellow the benefit of the doubt.

If in spite of the above explanation you are still mad as hell I truly apologize.

Being sensitive and picky about words is how I try to understand what is going on. Re-reading will only make me more sensitive and more picky.

You want me to grow a thick skin.

Maybe it is you who is oversensitive here. Lots of us get remarks that things are not clear enough. So what. We try to communicate. And saying things as clear as possible is what makes communication easier.
So don't feel offended. Just explain what you mean. And if you write on impulse, miscommunication can happen. And you might have to explain it again later.

If you want to avoid it you could write your impulses as drafts. Re-read them in a more quiet time and then post them.

Ellen Wrote:

Could everybody stop being sooooo sensitive and picky about word choice? Re-read the posts if you are uncertain of the true intent. Understand that I sometimes read and write posts while at work on the fly so "walk a mile in my shoes also" ok? This on top of taking care of an aging parent, so excuse me if I don't run everything by the politically correct board of review first.

There are probably 10 billion souls on this planet so we HAVE to develop a thick skin just a little or give the other fellow the benefit of the doubt.

If in spite of the above explanation you are still mad as hell I truly apologize.

Being sensitive and picky about words is how I try to understand what is going on. Re-reading will only make me more sensitive and more picky.

You want me to grow a thick skin.

Maybe it is you who is oversensitive here. Lots of us get remarks that things are not clear enough. So what. We try to communicate. And saying things as clear as possible is what makes communication easier.
So don't feel offended. Just explain what you mean. And if you write on impulse, miscommunication can happen. And you might have to explain it again later.

If you want to avoid it you could write your impulses as drafts. Re-read them in a more quiet time and then post them.

Good idea, we all probably write things without thinking things through properly.

I would like to add re the 'older mother thing', most of these mothers choose to have children later in life for various reasons & I would have thought that they  would on the whole be prepared for the ups & downs of parenting
There will be the occasional unplanned birth, but these days  there is choice regarding whether to proceed with the pregnancy.
We are not living in the days when women had children until they dropped  of exhaustion.

Have you tried rewarding and praising behavior that you do want?
We had success using "consequences" but I try to save that for dangerous behaviors and avoid getting into battles over minor things ("pick your battles wisely").

Just watched it - I was pleasantly surprised by the episode. The only thing I've never been a fan of is the way she treats the parents (the "why aren't you happy?" question especially rankled), but the actual advice she gave was pretty good.

It's not often you see an autistic kid shown realistically, either - usually shows only edit in "tantrum" and "sitting in the corner" footage...

I agree completely, over here junkies,alcoholics etc, get to keep their children  ( possibly because both police & SS are afraid of the no go areas) , The wealthy get away with anything they want.
The timid everyday ordinary  person is the target in most instances.



I would like to watch the video, but for some reason, I can't get past ' preview click here to view the whole thing ' It doesn't matter where I click, I keep being returned to preview.
Any one know what I'm doing wrong?

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