Aspies For Freedom

Can someone give me a link to this Dr.Phil Asperger episode? I can't find it on Youtube

Father bears and cats will kill offspring of other males.  Therefore, by your reasoning, men should be allowed to kill the children of other men.

i keep saying i am gonna have to call supernanny cause when you try different approaches and the child doesnt respond to disipline what do you do? My child already treats me like i'm his slave 24/7 i have tried different ways to approach it though he responds to nothing i know he's young but therapists are even telling me now i am gonna have a monster if i don't put my foot down. what am i suppose to do though i do the best i can.


Its easy, just start treating him like he is your slave for a while and he will get the idea.  The only problems we had with our two children was when we got too slack with them. Otherwise they were happy well adjusted children and grew up to be successful parents themselves.

I'm all right for a spank on the butt if the kid is really out of line, The wooden spoon was our enemy as kids. My sis and I, use to fear getting spanked by it so we often behaved when we had to. And we we're very honest with mom.

So where is that Dr Phil episode with that Aspie kid?

Structurally, I make an identitical argument to you.  You say the following:

Bears and cats do X, therefore, we should do X.

I respond with
Bears and cast do Y, should we, therefore, use that as a justification for doing Y, if it's okay to use it to justify doing X?

What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.

I've watched the Nanny show here once, briefly, and I liked what I saw, but it is pointless to generalize about childrearing- what works for an NT child isn't always going to work with an ASD child. I know, I've raised two kids, one NT and one Aspie girl (or almost raised her- she is 16).

In general, though, you have to show respect to get respect and to communicate that the house is not child-centered. My parents communicated to us subtly that their marriage came first, then us, and in America today it's pretty much the opposite unfortunately.

The other thing they stressed was education, not things. I could have gone to my Dad at age 47 and said something like "I can't afford a PhD but feel I need one now" and he would have written a check on the spot!

The only main rule I've found about parenting is it's NOT for the lazy or those who have kids a little too late in life and simply don't have the energy anymore. Luckily said father also raised us to be active, not to sit around a lot goofing off. Even after supper he would push us to walk around the block, not sit and watch tv (that came later). We also played tennis several times a week so we were all pretty active at our house. One brother surfed and another was on a swim team and at 62 still swims competitively.

So that has been my parenting mantra- keep insisting, keep pushing for accountability, responsibility and sooner or later the kids fall into line. The minute you give up and say I can't fight him/her anymore you are done for!   Our Aspie was hard to motivate at first, so I added the chores slowly but surely. She now cleans her room and her bathroom regularly, sets the table, sweeps the front and back porches and (occasionally, but I am working on this) nukes her own lunch on the weekends.  She has also started making her own breakfast muffins and cookies from time to time. She has also started to do her own laundry once in a while too.

What helped a lot was sending her to Aspie camp twice where the above was insisted upon so she got in the habit starting about age 13 or 14. The camp counselors had a whole procedure, a group meeting that was impromptu as needed, for "training" the kids to be respectful and to do their part in setting up and breaking up camp. Any issues were discussed as a group, anyone could "call group" if they felt abused or mistreated, apologies were encouraged, and specific promises were asked for and made about how they would deliver the wanted behavior in the future.  During one nearly two week period they all walked as a team approx. 5-7 miles a day over uneven terrain!

But when I'm done, I'm done. I've already told both my children not to expect me to babysit their kids when I'm older!

For an NT who supposedly has empathy, I find this insulting.  YOUR energy level may depend on age, but mine does not.  I'm very glad that I had a chance to live life a bit and grow up before having my first and only baby at age forty.  And if forty doesn't qualify as "a little too late in life" I don't know what does.

This is a RULE, you say?  Well I guess you'd better call social services to come get my darling, as I have seriously broken this rule.

Let's not have a Yetti revival.  Say what works for you.  Don't tell me what works for me.  Walk in my shoes, then we'll talk.

FYI

Aspies tend to be oversensitive and take things literally.

If you're asking us to not be so Aspie, I'm afraid the answer HERE on AFF would most likely be, uh, no.

And if you had a baby at 38, you have walked in my old-mom shoes, and your post makes even less sense.

Ellen said "too late in life", not "after thirty-five" or something like that. "Too late in life" varies from person to person. Ellen clearly meant it's not for certain individuals who have lost their energy level as they've aged.

On topic-ly, would anyone in the UK be willing to report on that article? And does anyone have a link to the Dr. Phil with the Aspie?

Can anybody say wait until your father gets home?

My cat swats me sometimes.  Is she spoiled?  I tell her go to your room before I leave for work.  Lately I've used a mop to encourage her if necessary, the mere sight of it often works, although slight pressure on her butt makes her move otherwise.

Saying no to a child is rather easy.  Try it.  It's short and it works.  N.O.  No.  No!

And No! means No!

As a research assistant involved in anti-domestic violence efforts in WV between 1995 and 1996, I feel good saying that

Thanks Tigger. I was unable to find the video.  Glad you found it for us.  

My favorite part was when they made the board with pictures on it to give the kid a clue of what was ahead each day.  It would have been even better if some actual photos (like of his real bed or which family car) could have been included.  Those kinds of things help me. I'm not terribly happy with depriving him of food until he speaks for it. Mainly though, i wondered why the parents seemed so upset when the kids werent even doing anything really bad.  They both got way upset just because a 4 year old was enthusiastically begging for a treat while mom was handing them out. The tone of the mother's "why" when the father wondered if he should be sitting at the end of the dinner table with his son showed how she resented her son and kind of treated him as a non-person.

What do the rest of you think about the ABA-ish food part?

I had the same thought about her myself.

LOrds it wasn't that bad, << The kid didn't say a word until therapy kicked in. Jeez <<