Aspies For Freedom

Funny how they inlcude the actual level of support only after whining about levels of service.  

No mention of "Autism Everyday" of course.  

Still, I'm glad to have a trial date for the McCarron case.  Her Grandfather's statement that she knew octagons before anyone in her normal class did stuck in my mind (octagons were my favorite shape).  


OPENING EYES

Recent events put focus on plight of parents caring for special-needs children

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Sunday, July 9, 2006

Stories by KAREN McDONALD # Photograph by DAVID ZALAZNIK # of the Journal Star

Across the Atlantic Ocean, Alison Davies and her 12-year-old son, Ryan Davies, jumped from a bridge to their deaths on April 12 in Hull, England, in an apparent murder-suicide.

On May 13 in Morton, young Katherine McCarron was suffocated, allegedly at the hands of her mother, Karen McCarron.

Across the nation, on May 14 in Albany, Ore., 19-year-old Christopher Degroot was locked inside a burning apartment; he died five days later. His parents, Nicolaas and Agnes Degroot, are charged with manslaughter and arson for allegedly locking their son in the apartment alone, according to a news release.

Most recently, and again, close to home, on June 21, Kellie Waremburg allegedly fed a lethal drug cocktail to her 4-year-old daughter, Lexus Fuller. The mixture nearly killed her.

Katherine McCarron, age 3, was autistic. So was Christopher Degroot.

Both Alison and Ryan Davies were carriers of Fragile X syndrome, a condition associated with autism and learning difficulties, according to The Sunday Times.

Lexus Fuller has cerebral palsy, is physically handicapped and has mental retardation.

The well-publicized recent cases are clogging up Internet blogs and have drawn national media attention. They've sparked debate about autism and other disabilities and the toll they take on families.

Many are asking, what went wrong? What can be done?

Scores of parents have written to the Journal Star about the McCarron case. Some complain that

Katherine McCarron's death is being overshadowed by unnecessary sympathy for her mother.

"Coverage of the alleged murder of Katie McCarron has been dominated by discussion of autism, poor support services, and an alarming parade of parents seemingly eager to tell the public they've felt like killing their own kids with disabilities," wrote Stephen Drake, spokesman for "Not Dead Yet," a national disability rights organization.

However, many others argue that the tragedy shows a lack of available local resources for families. The recent local murder and attempted murder are casting a light on disabilities that have been in the dark for far too long.

Although they say they don't advocate the events, they do understand that "desperation is a fact" when raising a child with disabilities, said Libby Taylor, president of ANSWERS, an autism support group.

"The fact is that it is distressful (raising a child with disabilities). It is very hard. It could move any normal person to be a different person and consider things that they never considered before," Taylor said.

What went wrong?

What drove two Tazewell County mothers with no criminal past to allegedly commit such horrific acts?

Acquaintances and neighbors of Karen McCarron and Kellie Waremburg described them as caring parents. They both were seeking help and treatment for their children's disabilities.

Many questions remain: Were the crimes planned in advance? What were the women's mental states? What prompted the acts on those particular days?

"My heart goes out to these two moms because I know what they've gone through. I know what it's like. It's overwhelming," said Dr. Sally Jo Winek, who works part time at Easter Seals in Peoria and has a daughter with cerebral palsy. "My heart goes out to them because there isn't a society right now that understands. You can't condone what they did, but I can certainly understand the position they found themselves in."

McCarron, 37, a pathologist from Morton, is charged with suffocating her daughter, Katherine. McCarron then tried to kill herself, authorities said, by overdosing on Tylenol and telling police she "wanted to end her pain and Katie's pain."

Karen McCarron has been in a Springfield mental health institution since June 9 after posting $100,000 bond. She plans to soon rent an apartment.

Kellie A. Waremburg, 32, of Pekin is charged with allegedly feeding her daughter, Lexus Fuller, 100 over-the-counter sleeping pills and Phenobarbital. She told authorities she decided to give the mixture to her daughter to get her "to go to sleep and not wake up."

Waremburg then reportedly barricaded herself inside a closet and was found with a large knife with her and diagonal flesh wounds on both of her wrists. She remains in the Tazewell County Jail on $1 million bond.

Katie's grandfather, Michael, has said Karen McCarron, who lived in an affluent Morton neighborhood, had a lot of resources and help. Katie McCarron had been living with her father in North Carolina, where she attended The Mariposa School, which provides instruction for children with autism, from October 2004 through April 27.

She had lived in Morton with her mother only since the first week in May.

Waremburg is reported to mostly have taken care of her daughter by herself. She lives on the south side of Pekin in a rented home with the child's father.

Her daughter, Lexus Fuller, attended a special-education program for two years at Schramm Educational Center, which primarily works with children with severe needs. The girl also attended clinics at Easter Seals in Peoria.

McCarron's legal team has not officially announced a defense plan. She is charged with two counts of first-degree murder, two counts of obstructing justice and one count of concealment of a homicidal death. If convicted on the murder charges, she faces up to 100 years in prison.

Waremburg is pleading not guilty by reason of insanity. If she is convicted of attempted first-degree murder and aggravated battery to a child, she faces up to 60 years in prison for each count.

Both cases are set for trial Aug. 21.

Karen McDonald can be reached at 346-5300 or kmcdonald@pjstar.com.

here's what i don't get.  why are autistics all assumed to be disabled?  i'm not on disablity or anything, and can live indepentely without help.

autistics need diffrent education than their non autistic peers, no way i would be here today if i was treated like an robot.  i think all people need to have indivual treatment and is probaly hurting many others trying to put a cookie cutter child in.

and notice how "disabled" people seem to do more than everyone else?  i think they have this drive to prove people wrong that they are capable, i know i did.  i wanted to do so much, and my parents would usually let me do it (usually finacial constrants were the problem), and wouldn't put limitations becuase i was autistic and "'disabled' people couldn't do anything".  my parents didn't see me as disabled.  more like diffrent abled.

sorry, end of rant.

back to the story, i think there should be more support for child rasing in general, becuase we live in a socitey that encourages isolation expect for teaching, where everything becomes unified and cookie cutter.  but that's not a reason to kill your child.  murder is never an option.  if you couldn't take care of them, give them to someone else, don't kill them.  there's always another way.  there is an autsticphoic socitey nowadays...unaccepting of any diffrence expect the precived norm.  i think support groups and the such will help any child, autistic or not.  i know i benifited from it.  rasing any child can be stressful at times.  i know my teenage years were less stressful than most teens lives.  i rarely went out, my parents knew and approved of my friends, i got good grades, etc.  the things a person needs is never the same.

but i think people need to know that autistics aren't disabled and disabled doesn't mean you're helpless.  it's more like diffrent abled.

I wouldn't describe this one as propaganda.  The story acknowledges both sides of the controversy by presenting the views of Stephen Drake and Michael McCarron, unlike many news stories that talk only about the burdens on the parents.

bravesj858, I agree that we need to challenge disability stereotypes.

How is it that this couple are only charged with manslaughter and arson?  If I locked somebody in an apartment and then set fire to it, it would be murder, wouldn't it?  I mean, what are they saying, we didn't mean to lock in in, or we didn't mean to set fire to the building?  It was an accident that he didn't get out unscathed?  I'm confused and angry. :evil:

Alison

The feelings of the author can be easily infered from the title.  They also did not present the other side of the story in a way that would lead one to consider it objectively.  The actual facts are buried at the end of the article.

NOTHING gives parents the right to kill their child.  I have no sympathy there.  The article title doesn't strike me as biased, however.  The rest of the article ... well, I don't like printing these actions and linking them to child's disability for the simple fact that I know the information can act like a worm in the distorted mind of a depressed parent.

Still, even though autism is not necessarilly a disability, you HAVE to acknowledge that it is much difficult, on average, for a parent (at least an NT parent) to raise an autistic child than a nuerologically normal child.  First, there are the delays in things like toilet training, being able to be left alone, getting a driver's license (I just read that thread in parenting).  Each of these milestones is appreciated by parents for the simple fact they reduce our workload.  Second, there are the outbursts that are much more common with autistics and aspies.  Sure, I can learn to leave my child be until he works it out himself, and I can even set it up so I don't have breakage to show for it, but there still are the messes to clean up, and the stress it places on me to be exposed to it.  Third, parents worry.  We worry about everything.  That worry is amplified a zillion times when your child cannot perform against all the markers available to you for successfully raising a child.  Making the transition away from all that, and embracing only the good things ... well, it takes time.  And too many parents are left muddlingly only among those who express sympathy and criticism, and don't help them along the road of seeing the gifts.  So, education and support are needed, they really are.  Not every mom finds communities like this one.   You can't acheive your goals if you can't recognize how it looks on the other side.  The true part, not the amplified and propagandized part.