Aspies For Freedom

Can't they let him try and see how he copes?

(Before knowing about AS, before it even officially "existed" as a dx) I was always told, "you are too much of a klutz and too scatterbrained to learn to drive right now" and while my parents are not going to win diplomacy awards, I agreed because I knew it was true.  It was practically the same way I would have described why I was afraid to learn.  

At age 21 I was in graduate school and finally figured it was time.  So my father taught me the basics (and I failed the road-test 2x) and then to actually pass the test I got lessons (I really think a few lessons at a good driving school, in their SMALL CAR, is the best way to get all the right details to pass the actual test!!)

I think waiting was smart because really my mind wasn't ready at that time, but later it was.  So this kid needs to find out if his mind and coordination are ready.  Maybe in driver's ed. at school he can find out, in order to minimize expense caused by crashing the family car (2nd-worst-case scenario).

I am still a bad driver.  I am maybe by some standards "not high-functioning enough to drive".  But (by a combination of caution when I can manage it and Divine Intervention in the moments when I see no other way that I have avoided crashing in certain situations) I have not had any accidents in 10+ years of driving.  Well, I have dented bumpers and wheels by mis-judging the location of posts and curbs, and I have dinged a few parked cars... but I have not had any real accidents with other drivers.

I think the thing is, for anybody, not just autistics:  to know your own brain and what it is ready for.  Knowing your own brain is a very very useful life-skill.

PS: I know that I make a calculated risk every time I get behind the wheel.  And I try very very hard to get to work every day without hitting anybody.  Some people I see out there on the road drive as if they are not aware of their risk they are taking, and are not trying nearly as hard not to hit each other as I am.  So I figure if you look at it that way, I'm maybe only a little below average!

I'm taking driving lessons at present and my only problem it seems is driving too slow or not reacting fast enough. This is improving. Autism shouldn't affect driving at all.

I really do think it depends on the physical coordination and processing issues you have, and whether you are ready to process all those input at the same time.  

Some of this has got to have something to do with autism... It can't be just random that so many autistics have difficulty driving (although so many of us manage to do it, so it should not necessarily disqualify someone).

http://www.wrongplanet.net/asperger.html...ic&t=15210
http://www.wrongplanet.net/asperger.html...ic&t=14822
http://www.wrongplanet.net/asperger.html...ic&t=11566
http://www.wrongplanet.net/asperger.html...ic&t=10192

Do you mean that he can't understand the rules of the road, or that he has too many sensory and physical coordination problems to be able to drive safely?

In either case, the parents should let him try, rather than presuming incompetence.  If he can't understand the motor vehicle laws after reading the study materials, he will fail the written test, and that will be the end of it.  If he has sensory and coordination problems, he may eventually learn to drive with plenty of practice in empty parking lots and quiet streets, even if it takes several years.  Many autistics take longer than average to learn how to drive.

Depending on the grade of high functioning it may take some time to learn how to drive. Over here, one has to take professional driving lessons and the license costs a lot of money.

When I startet, I found that although I was driving along a 30km/h max speed road it was far too fast for me! But one gets used to the speed and by practicing a lot, the things one has to do to be careful will become a habit.

It's like learning to drive a bike, some kids just need more time until they get everything in line, but then they can drive as well as the others.

Maybe it would be a good thing to ask him wether he would - for his parents peace of mind - wait a year longer or take some professional lessons. (if getting drivers licence in the US is still the way I've heard about at school, it's having some lessons with a "teacher" at age 16 or so at school and make a test then?) And then the parents should talk about it with the driving teacher - sometimes parents are overprotecting.

And there's always the risk that a kid, if something is unreachable, will do it alone, without lessons or permission and ending in a desaster.

I'd ask my son: "You're sure you can/want to do this? Then let's try out and if it doesn't work out properly, we try again in a year or two."

Sibylle

What should the parents tell the child?  You know, they actually have it easy on this one.  A driver's license has to be earned by demonstrating skills and passing tests.  The world has decided who can drive; the parents don't have to.  The parents can express their worry that the child will become frustrated due to the difficulty of these tests for him, and that they would prefer he wait until an older age.  As the discussions above prove, there is no need to tell him he can never drive.  If he insists on wanting to drive, he will eventually either learn the skills or flunk the tests.  There is no good reason for the parents to create a solid negative right now.  If this person really is incapable of driving, he can eventually discover that for himself.  Some decisions need to be made that way.  I don't think it's necessary for parents to make sure their kids never fail in the outside world.  Because in doing so they will prevent their kids from acheiving surprise successes.  Learning your personal limits, in your own heart and for yourself, is an important part of life.

Maybe, maybe not.  Certainly you know this child and these parents better than us, but why can't the parents explain it from a less absolute position?  It doesn't matter if the parents are sure the child can never drive; it only matters that the state won't issue the license if the child can't exhibit the required skills.  You asked for how the parents could break the news.  The answer is defer it to the state licensing requirements.  We're asking you to look at this from another angle.  Sometimes it is good to change the point.

Also people asked for clarification and it was not given yet.  Maybe if you explained how/why he is "not mentally capable of driving a vehicle", we could get the point.

No offense, but that could make this a more meaningful discussion, if we had more facts...

Coming from a farming community in Australia, there was no bus service (except for school kids on outlying farms) and no other way of getting about except by taxi or driving.  

I learnt to drive early, as I was expected to help Dad and Mum on the farm by driving tractors, combine harvesters, hay bailers, etc. in the paddocks.  I found cars a nice easy alternative to learn!  

I can drive manuals, but love my little 1lt Daewoo automatic - it's zippy, it can fit into just about any parking space, and I can go three weeks between fills of petrol, as it runs on the smell of an oily rag.  

I passed my driving test first time, and in the nearly 30 years I've been driving, I've never had an accident, or a parking ticket.  The worst was when I was on my "p" plates and underestimated the speed I was doing on a lonely country road (the car had a broken speedometer.)  Unfortunately, the road was not so lonely, a policeman booked me!  Never sped since, so lesson was well and truly learned!  

I see no reason why Aspies can't learn to drive - and good on you, Gareth, for learning!  
Alison

I got my licence at age 27 but was always a very nervous (but careful) driver and only had one minor accident.

Sadly, I haven't driven for some years and no longer own a car, but I keep renewing my licence in the hope that one day I will afford another car.

It can be a nuisance not having a car to get around in, but having a car is also a lot of expense and responsbility. I didn't like town driving as some people drove too close to me and that made me nervous. Highway driving was better for me, although more risky.

I admit I've been spoiled, Canberra has beautiful roads.  When I think of some of the bush tracks and unsealed potholed "roads" I've driven over in my thirty years of driving, I'm very grateful for my city's road maintenance.  Particularly since our "peak hour" traffic lasts about five minutes twice a day! (Small population, whole lotta space...)
Alison

ever tried, ever failed? no matter - try again, fail again, fail better. (s.b)

I think a lot of things would never have been learned if people did not try and try again! If whe had accepted after the first failures that mankind can't fly, we would not have airplanes after all.

We never know what we can do until we tried and maybe until we tried several times.

Sibylle

Well... maybe the world would be better off without airplanes  :roll:

On what basis do they believe he can't?

Has he had driving lessons and performed really badly?

I think he should at least be able to take some lessons and for a professional driving instructor to make that assessment, not his parents.