Aspies For Freedom

If you have a child who's high functioning, but not high enough functioning to drive, how do you break the news to them?

Im asking because I have a HFA cousin and his parents are having a hard time dealing with his "wanting to drive" and they dont know how to tell him that he cant.

Driving is extremely stressful for me, but I just need practice.  I used to panic everytime I saw an oncoming car, still almost do, but I'm getting much better.  I can even cope with a stickshift, although I'm not allowed to get much practice (mom wants me to take the driving test in that goddamn boat of a van, can't even see around it).  Doesn't mean I don't hate driving, but being autistic doesn't mean you can't.

He's not mentally capable of driving a veichle.

What exactly do you mean by "not mentally capable"?

How can they possibly tell?  

They can take the car somewhere like a deserted parking lot and the parent can have their hand on the wheel the whole time.  

It's just like anything else, it takes practice.  If he can understand at least written instructions, it will not be impossible

i'm almost 21 and just getting driving lessons.  i'm getting better though, my biggest problems is high speed turning, and still a bit of turning overall.

i have a bit of a problem with maintaining speed sometimes.

my parents think a license is going to be like a 21st birthday present...lol.

i don't think i would have been able to take this step at 16 though.  i wasn't ready.  i knew my brain and i knew that i would be really uncontable with that at 16, when almost everyone around me was getting their license, i felt a bit left out, but i knew this was for the better of my brain in the trying times.

i think i knew myself alot earlier than my peers though.  i think that's partly becuase they were following trends and i wasn't, and did things i like.  that's what made me turn down grad school a while back.

maybe it's the perusit of prefection.  when i get behind the wheel, i have obbesion of not breaking a law, and that probaly causes nervous breakdowns.  that's my best explantion.  especaly with the risks being so high.

or maybe the act of driving is rooted in multi tasking, which i think alot of autistics have trouble doing.  that's probaly the most common problem, probaly the reason why i can't maveunar high speed turns well, becuase you have to do so many things so fast.

and just becuase he can't drive at 16 doesn't mean he will never drive.  if he fails the first time, wait a year or so and try again, or wait till he feels ready.  there isn't a rule that says if you can't drive at 16 you can never drive.

i think people have taken that autistics are disabled by default and they can't do anything "adult".

i think living in the country has actually benfited me a bit, as i have miles of country road to pratice in, putting very little at risk.  if i was living in the city like i was when i was in high school, i would probaly never got that chance.  i think i'll get my license in the next couple of months.

and i think autistics have a bit harder time to drive.  i'm like 5 years behind my friends in that caterogy.  most of my friends got a license during high school, and got their own cars and everything.  sigh.  i think i need a car before i move out of the house, which may be as early as next summer.

I had to spend an entire two years convincing my family to teach me--by promising to take a proffessional course once I was confident enough that I didn't need to be tought anything.  I got a little bit of experience in the neighborhood, then got my permit to learn to drive on the road.  It took me two tries to pass the written test, the first time I only failed by one.  The second I got two wrong--all the rest were good.  When my family gets back from Florida I'll probably try and get another week of experience (I've already been out of practise for over a week) then most likely pass the road test.  

This does not mean I am particularly more "mentally capable" than most autistics, even than those autistics who genuinely cannot drive.

you guys are missing the point. Nevermind anyway....

Absolutely! Let him honestly and manfully try and fail instead of treating him like a baby.  Let him give it a shot.  Let him fail.

And it's part of being a fully-fledge adult.  I've come across parents with this "damaged goods" mindset for their children.  They sabotage their "handicapped" children.  They may think they do it because they "care", but the truth is that they have no faith in their own offspring.

just a question:

would driving be easier/less terrifying if the road lanes were alot wider and less turns?

my mum tried very hard to get me to learn to drive,...
trying to improve my employment chances..

but i couldnt do it,.. i can just get all all together enough to drive ok if their is zero traffic...
but as soon as theres one other car,.. i mess up...
i had 9 months of driving lessons... and the last one ended in tears...


maybe i'll try again someday,..  but for now i think i'll just walk..

they told me that they didnt want to give him a tadte of what driving is like for fear of him taking the keys and running off in the car somewhere.

dont get me wrong, I cant stand his parents.

and speaking of buses being dangerous, we have to sit four to a seat on my bus. But I have a small butt so this isnt a real issue with me. We sit with two people sitting normally and two kid sitting with their backs facing the other's sides on the edge will holing on to the seat in front of us. And of course Im one of the last stops, so Im always the one sitting on that stupid egde.

What pisses me off even more is that one day i saw an empty seat, and the girl sitting there had her feet on the seat so im like "scoot over" and she did, but whenb i sat down her shoes put grimey street water on it and I get soaked. It was so nasty because it was freezing and gritty. I had to change into my gym pants and wait for my jeans to dry when i got to school. I was seriously ready to stab someone that day.