Hi All,
I'm 56 years old - and perhaps I'm unusual in the Aspie world in that I've worked almost all my life. I've never had a formal diagnosis but 3 doctors at my local practice and one at work all tend to agree that I am Aspie. I don't make small talk, have difficulty sometimes on the phone etc.
In my current job I made my way up to being in charge of Risk Management for the company - and well respected for it, but recently - for reasons that were never properly disclosed - that was taken away from me. I now suspect that one woman used me as an excuse to aggrandise herself, probably taking advantage of my amenability. Things were not helped that my boss worked on a different floor from me, and gave me three different (all untrue) answers as to why this had happened, something I won a grievance against her for. This goes on but I'll stop here since I know I have a tendency to bore people! :cry: I feel I need help. People around me are falling away in rapid form.
awwww poor guy, thats so sad. I can't really help you in job sense, im only 16. Maybe you should take it to court, thats discrimination, they are taking your job away that you've done good in because you might be an aspie. thats cruel and un-fare.
Don't be too hard on yourself, that was something you can't control and there will always be people like that. Keep your chin up and find another job, don't let this ruin your life.
As a fellow aspie you can always count on me to be there for you. Even if everyone around you dissaperes you can come to me. No one can ever burden me too much. And Im sure everyone on this site will always stick to your side.
Maybe visiting my website will provide comic relief
http://www.freewebs.com/christineiscool
And if that doesn't work and all else fails here are some guarenteed steps to happiness.
1. grab full carton of ice-cream and spoon
2. grab warm blanket.
3. turn off all lights :: optional= light firplace
4. sit on couch in front of TV
5. watch depressing movie while sobbing and eating ice-cream
6. eat the entire carton.
7. get a good night sleep
8. in the morning tell your self that was pathetic
9. decide to shed some of those ice-cream pounds.
10. go for a jog to lose ice-cream pounds and to gain feel good chemicals.
11. after gaining confidence, take a shower and get your job back or find a new one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know what you're going through because i've been kicked off a soccer team for having asperger's. I was their best player but they got rid of me. And I did that ice-cream thing except I didn't have to shed any pounds after.
Hi Soarhead, do you mean your whole job was taken away, or just one aspect of it?
If it was just one aspect, then I would personally be more worried about complaining and losing the whole job.
But my experience in work has probably been very different from yours. :?
It feels like most of it. They haven't fired me - probably they know I would have a good case for constructive dismissal. In effect I've been pushed to one side and bits of my work have all gone to other people, for no really good reasons.
have you done the ice-cream thing yet?
Not as such. My release is gained from my home brewed beer, the local whisky and our dogs. Dogs could give a lesson to humans in how to give unconditional love...
It's true! Dogs are the best! :grin:
you know you want to................
ice-cream......ice-cream.......ice-cream........ice-cream.........
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm............................
Ice......Cream........mmmmmmmmmmmm....
I'm utterly unqualified to offer advise, but I'll do so anywhen.
I'd probably quit in your place (I'm probably far too self-confident cocksure, hence I do not want to work in an office, among other reasons. But anywhen. . .), but barring that here's my idea of the second best option:
Get yourself a copy of Machiavelli.
Then look for some modern instructional texts on office politics.
Anything that they say that seems to fit with what old Nick advises, use.
I'm sure they exist somewhere.
To be totally blunt, I don't know if it would be your Aspie traits that have allowed this to happen, or your age. It is not unheard of for companies to marginalize people when they reach a certain age, unless they are too far up to be controlled in that way. Of course they can't tell you, because (a) it is probably against the law to marginalize you because of age or handicap and (b) they may not even understand the source of their own prejudice. I do suspect Aspie's are easier targets for this, though, because of difficulty in reading the social clues that indicate what is happening.
My advice? Actually the same I've given over the years to talented young associates not being successful in the companies I worked for: find something else. Someone, somewhere, will appreciate your talents. Quietly start looking for that someone. Don't quit your position. It is much easier to find a new one while still employed. Just start looking. Everyone I know who has done that has ended up in a much better place. It's worth it.
It has occurred to me that this could be age related as well - as you may know age discrimination in the UK is going to be illegal come September 06. Having said that the firm I work for has a local anti discrimination policy which would mitigate against both age and what they describe as mental or phyiscal disability.
They know how old I am from my CV and just being me, I suspect they know much less about Aspergers syndrome - most people do.
The problem with going after companies for discriminating against you is you must have proof. and it takes a long time. Usually the discrimination is very subtle. They will tell you the reason is just that "someone more qualified was chosen". Others use employment agencies that "screen applicants" and they are not subject to the same laws in my country.
Where I work, if you get really good at a job it is soon taken away and someone more mediocrely skilled is put in. The people who only just plod along seem to get to keep the jobs more.
I wouldn't be surprised if this whole situation has something to do with age and age discrimination can be so hard to prove conclusively. I am reading a really interesting little book at the moment called "Bonjour Laziness" and it explains that firms often want to dispense with older workers because they see them as being "less flexible" ie. less amenable to indoctrination and to being bossed around. It still sucks that people are effectively put on the scrapheap in their 50's when they still have much to offer.
Some of these people end up making a good living as consultants and that is one line of work to seriously consider.
Can you speak up, but put it in a positive light instead of in a negative one? In other words, phrase it in terms of what you can do for the company rather than what the company has taken away from you. Explain that your extensive experience and proven skills are not being properly utilized, and you know and have previously shown that you can get more done than is currently being allotted to you. If you get no response from doing this in a face-to-face meeting, write it in the form of a professional letter and bcc copies to people higher in the chain of command or in HR. Of course, this depends on your company's internal culture, but many times if you say "I'm willing to do more for the same compensation", even if your direct boss has his head in the sand, someone over his head will be interested.
Also, would transferring departments be possible? Perhaps another section of the company would appreciate your skills and experience more. Don't just talk to supervisors; chat up administrative staff, office lackeys, whoever knows the gossip. See if anyone's heard of areas where there's too much work and not enough people, or where a supervisor is frustrated by the lack of experience or streamlining, or where a valued employee is leaving and additional help might endear you to someone. My luck in networking has come entirely from my proving my ability and willingness to work, and if you already have a reputation for that, you might really be able to cash in on it.
Have to hope like anything that the company doesn't get a better lawyer.