No they dont, I dont respect view points from morons. I know thats sounds bad, then can be smart but they arn't even trying. Dont get me wrong I love my parents, I just have a low toloerence for idiots. Just cause one doctor said so, we have this 24hour clinic guy and he said my splean was swollen and that I had mono (yeah... I didn't cause I had a blood test done) so that guy was dumb, my parents know this and say it themselves. And the guy who diagnosed me is probably an idiot too, and they said if they do get me reevaluated they get it from the same guy. He wont even look at me and my normal traits and call me asperger's just cause he diagnosed me before. I bet he wont even use the diagnostic chart of my current behaviors but the ones from the past. I dont satnd a chance. I dont get benifits form being asperger's because im a neuro-typical thats being coddled through high school( I have a 504 which i really dont need). Me having a 504 is the equivelent of one of my older sisters having one. It's completely un nessasry. I'll never be ready for college.
Thanks you guys for trying to help me. I really appreciate it. I just wish someone in my family would stick to my side. if you haven't noticed im all alone in this.
for sad and inspirational stories about it which will give you an extra insight on my view go to
http://www.freewebs.com/christineiscool (answere the poll! You have to even if you have no idea who they are, just guess.also you can put an entry in the guest book)
When? set up a date and time, I have summer vacation now so anytime should be good.
I'd manage fine without it because I believe im just like my 2 older sister and they dont have one. And the teachers say they dont even use it on me any way. I've never had to use any of my 504 accomedations since 5th grade. it's like a IEP except less special, it's dumb because I don't need it. Were getting rid of it next fall, and it freaks me out that mom doesn't think I can handle it and that makes me lose confidence in myself, the stupid consulars dont think I can handle it either but then again Mom and they consulers didn't even go to a real college I bet. My biggest pet peeve is stupid people, which means sometimes I can't stand myself. LOL I was interrogating my dad in the car on the way home. Don't you think it's funny that they think Im autistic and I dont have any of the symptoms, but they dont think I have epilepsy in which I match all the symptoms? SIGH! It gets tiring after a while, being surrounded by inferiors.
Do you mean the chatroom on the bottom of your posts or the one on this site?
Yeah your medical file can be cleared oonce someone believes me and doesn't look the other way. Ok... seriously even my grandma has been manipulated by my mom to go agaisnt me. The only one I have left is Michelle (the best littlel sis ever!). But she's emotionally damaged too because she's got a expressive language disability. She's really smart and gets good grades but her abilities are held back because if she can't express anything it affects every aspect of her life. But oh no! She doesn't need a diagnoses, theres nothing worng with her! psssh....... thats a load of BS. And then theres me, that I dont even fit the criteria and none of my other eccentric behavoirs affect me in ANY aspect of my life. But oh! Im autistic! They're so dumb! AARRG! Just because I cry when im upset they take that as autistic. Crying is not a specific asperger trait and they dont get that! Full grown men cry when they lose in a sporting event, but they're still normal. But Oh! When I cry because everyone resents me and thinks I have asperger's, thats not normal... pssshh!
Telling me I have asperger's is the biggest insult to me. Because I do all the right things at exactly the right time, you can't tell me different from the crowd. Ya know why? BECAUSE IM NT!!!!!!!!! . And it hurts me so much because im doing everything right and they say it's all wrong. And they think being upset about it is un-acceptable? What the hell?! Seriously what do I have to do to convince them? HUH? Do I have to have sex with my boyfriend? HUH? Or smoke some weed and drink and party all night?HUH? Or go streaking at a football game?HUH? Or shoplift? HUH? I know those arnt normal behaviors, but i've hit a wall here! I do everything normal now! I go out with my friends, do stuff with my boyfriend, read magazines, instant message, I wait till private to get upset, and all the other stuff. And they say Im as good as my two older sister because I got a 4.0, but im in F@$^%ing normal classes!!!!!!! They are in advanced! So they'res absolutley no way im as good as them, if im not even in advanced classes. It's imperative that I get all A's, anything less is un-acceptable, and they don't get that. If I was in advanced classes it would be different.
And my sisters are extremly jealous of me, because mom and dad give me un-nessasry special treatment and coddle me the entire way. No one really understands that I resent myself. I wake up everyday and Im sick to my stomach because I know im waking up to another day of being me. I can't stand myself, I hate myself more than my sisters hate me. (Michelle loves me yah!). I they think I love being treated special, I DON'T !!!!! I want to be treated exactly like they are because Im exactly just as neuro-typical as them. And my mom and dad are so dumb they think I want epilepsy. Thats BS Why would I want it. They completley miss the point, I dont want it, I want it diagnosed so my symptoms go away. And they say," you wouldn't be normal if you had epilepsy." Their idiotness furiates me! Of course i'd be normal! Thats the point. To me for my personal body asperger's means there's something wrong with me Epilepsy means there's something wrong with my brain. And I would be completley OK if I wasn't normal if it was because of epilepsy, im not ok if Im not normal because of autism. Thats just they way I think, And I know it offends some poeple. But note that I hate myself.
Mom asked me what i'd do if I was diagnosed with asperger's again, the answer to that is that i'd kill myself. If it happens to be that I don't have epilepsy, i'd probably kill myself. I live in a hell that I created for myself because I used to express autism like traits, I know I deserve every bit of greif I feel. Actually, i'd probaby have to institutionalized because I will have a nervous breakdown if I'm diagnosed with it again.[/b]
There are absolutley no adults I can trust. Learned that the hard way. I had a consuler once and the part where they say everything is confidental, yeah..... right.... pssssh......
"oh you can come to me for anything.."-grandma........ psssh..........
Actually all my pain will go away if my medical file is cleard. That is the soul mission in my life right now, Because every sad thing i think about is related to that. Except for Manny being kicked of by the damn red wings! That was really sad.
I only hate myself as in when im about being autistic, I dont hate myself as a friend, a soccer player, an NT, an epileptic, a sister, a girlfriend. Note that I am an NT here, and im being dissed everyday by my own family here. Dont get me wrong we all love eachother, but they way they talk to me and some of the stuff they say is just wrong. Like if the question of me being NT is on a test and you answer no, you'd get that question wrong.
Plus i'll never actually kill myself, i'm all talk in that sense.
The point is to get them to see that im NT so I can move on with my life. I cannot mentally move on untill they understand. they can take away my kids if I get a divorce and they see asperger's in my medical file. It's happened to people before.
goal number one is to get my parents to believe me, my feelings dont matter as long as they see me as autistic. When they believe me then I will feel better automatically. Trust me
im not a guy!!!!!!!! And I dont hurt the ones that love me... intentionally
It's not a scapegoat, because like I said the majority of the things that make me miserable are 'getting-my-file-cleared' related. Like when Manny was kicked off the Red Wings, I didn't blame my asperger file. When i didnt make varsity (I should have) I didn't blame my asperger file, when I don't get good grades, i dont blame my asperger file. I didn't mean to say it causes ALL my problems just about 90%
I have a website thats my journal if you want some insight inside my head
http://www.freewebs.com/christineiscool
I totally get how you dont understand me, im very overzealous at an understatement.
And getting the file cleared has to happen now, or at least soon or I will go insane.
Am my own consuler, because no one has the intelligents to get The Point. And I have set up The Point in such a genius way that only I can decode, I resent myself for doing that too. No matter how much I explain no one can grasp the idea. One day I post every detail on a different string, i'll let you know.
Don't leave me, talking to you makes me feel less alone.
Part of The Point is that I have no idea why I think like that. But the main concept people don't understand is that The Point only applies to me.
example:
I am not normal if I have aspergers and im not ok with it.
If there's anything else wrong with me thats not autistic related im still normal and im ok with it, like having epilepsy. And as I have said before I have no idea why that is, well I sort of do, but thats deeper in the meaning of The Point which I know no one will truley understand because i don't fully understand it myself.
You're a good friend, Im not making you read my journal, it's only if you want to I dont really care if you do or not. I'll wait for you. Dont worry I have other friends to talk to while you're away. Thanks for listening.
theres nothing wrong with your son because The Point does not apply to him, it only applies to me and only me.
see ya soon
Hi SoccerFreak248,
I just wanted to let you know I know where you're coming from. Here's the scoop:
From kindergarten, it was clear that I was different. I spaced out all the time, I had a "nervous twitch" in my hands, I paced constantly, I lived in my own world. I wound up being place in special ed and I was pissed! "Ugh, I'm not a ***!" Then in third grade my parents saw something on TV about epilepsy and said, "That sounds like our daughter!" They had me tested and sure enough, I did have a mild form. I was taken out of special ed and put on anticonvulsants. All the special ed in the world wasn't going to help me, but those anticonvulsants did. I was lucky, I eventually "outgrew" my epilepsy and was able to start a family. (I had to go off the meds before I would consider it. I was taking the now rarely-if-ever-prescribed Tegretol, which has the nasty side effect of a high incidence of birth defects.)
Anyway, fast forward to the present. From kindergarten, it was clear my son was different. He was exhibiting the same symptoms as me. He flapped his hands instead of twitching them and he walked on his tiptoes when he paced, but pretty much the same story. I convinced myself he had epilepsy (it can run in families) and early on in his first grade year I set about securing an EEG for him. Guess what? The EEG came back normal. WHAT?!
Most parents would see that as good news, but I knew that my son needed help and here we were back at square one. We went back to the pediatrician for another consult and she suggested it was a PDD. It took a looooooong time of fighting (a year and a half! thank you, evil health insurance company), but I finally got a neuropsychological evaluation for my son. The diagnosis: Asperger's Syndrome and ADHD. I trust this diagnosis (at least the aspie part) because in that year and a half everyone had been saying that's what it probably is -- the pediatrician, the school psychologist, the school occupational therapist, even me, after doing my research. Now in the fall, my son will be starting third grade at a different school that has good autism spectrum support and he'll have a 504 Plan.
The point of my story? Several, actually:
1. Humans are complicated creatures; it's not difficult to be pinned with the wrong diagnosis.
2. Having the wrong diagnosis is a bad thing.
3. Parents are humans and therefore make mistakes even with the best of intentions.
My advice? Get that EEG done, one way or another. It's a far more definitive test than the test for Asperger's. Go to your parents and present your evidence for why you think you have epilepsy and say you want an EEG done. If they won't listen, then the next time you go to your doctor YOU speak up and present your case all over again. If the doc says an EEG is warranted, your parents will be hard pressed to say no.
Don't get too attached to your self-diagnosis, though. It could turn out that you don't have epilepsy, despite whatever symptoms you see. If that happens, maybe you should be retested for Asperger's. If the test says you don't have it, it'll make a case to keep looking for other causes. It the test says you do, well, I know it's not the news you want but I hope you -- and the rest of the world, for that matter -- can come to realize that it has many positive traits and should be accepted, not maligned.
Good luck!
actually I did get retested for asperger's and they lifted the diagnoses.
also i got a EEG done recently, and since they havent called by now im sure it's fine. but even though you have epilepsy it can still come back normal, it only comes out positve if you have a seizure during the test.
And even if I dont have epilepsy, it could be temporal lobe ADD, they get alot of simple partial seizure like symptoms that i get alot, ex : deja vous, and seeing shawdows in the corner of your eye. I also have alot of other ADHD symptoms, so it wouldnt doubt that if it was that.