Aspies For Freedom

Hello All!  
I am in the process of writing a report for college, and i'm having difficulty with all the information i am reading.  I need to have my research notes jotted down by monday the 12th.  so i was hoping that you people could help me.  what do you think NT's should know about us, and from NT's who are trying to be helpful, what types of questions do they ask to get to know you better?  this would be extremely helpful!  It will help me narrow down my research a bit... thanks.  

oh also... i'm mainly talking about the social aspects.. not understanding everything being said to us, not understanding body language well... and the anxiety stuff too...  i'm going to talk a bit about stimming... but mostly in a social context... anyways.. your comments would be helpful thanks!  

also, if it's past the 12 of june, feel free to continue to post, cuz you'll still be helping me later!!

Darby

Welcome darbyrose! :groupjump:

Maybe you should mention sensory overload.

Yes i might do that!  I am an aspie myself, but sometimes there's just way too much information to wade through!  And sensory overload is a good one, for me its visual stuff... if things around my are disorganized i my mind becomes disorganized, although i hate organizing and cleaning i have to!  would thee be anything else regarding social situations that would be good to include?

I once worked with a great guy whom I believe had many of the symptoms of Aspergers.  One thing that really freaked me out when I first knew him was that when he was working, he would have this really blank look on his face.  He would also be quite vigorus in his movements, slamming drawers, shoving things to one side and just acting like I was not there.

Now, most people behave like this because they are angry, either at you or at someone else.  As a result I was too afraid to ask him anything in case I got shouted at, or if he really lost his temper and threw something at me!  I have had some issues in the past with violent men and I was really scared of him sometimes.

In the end it got a bit too much and I decided to tell him straight, that when he got "angry" and started to slam things about I was frigtened.  He was very surprised that I found his behaviour threatening, saying that he was not angry and that he had never been violent or hit a woman in his entire life.

When I realised that "screen saver mode" was not him being angry, it was such a relief.  Yes, I admit, I was more than partly to blame for my over sensitivity.  The good news is that we got on really well after that.

One other thing that I found different was that with most people they engage in little bits of conversations during the day in between work tasks.  With him, he would not do this, but during the last quarter of an hour, after the students had gone home, he was able to give me his full, undivided, total attention so that we could discuss important work issues.

I wish that I had known about Aspergers back then, because we might have avoided these misunderstandings.  I suppose he might have thougt I was a bit strange sometimes as well...

I wish I could know more people like you.  It takes me forever to convince someone I'm not angry.

I guess i am a bit unique in the fact that people don't think i'm a angry.   I'm not really an angry person, but if you do make me upset, watch out... you'll know!  On the other hand people usually think i look depressed.... which i think before i used to be most of the time...  it takes a lot of energy just to show emotions to NT people...

Darbyrose asked

Have you seen the article titled "10 things an autistic adult wishes you knew" in the articles section of the AFF web site? You shouldn't plagarize other people'sworks of writing, but it might give you ideas.

thanks, no i won't plegarize other people's work... but if i did use any of it i would do the proper documentation and that sort of thing... thanks for letting me know abotu that article.

Thanks for the compliment Khaliban. :smile:

The above discussion reminds me that I've found it helpful to explain to NTs about the physical aspects of different coordination/movement that many aspies experience.

For example, like the co-worker discussed above, I also have difficulty shutting drawers and setting things down quietly and gently. My muscles just don't work that way- more jerky (physically jerky, not attitudnally). My sister would get mad at me all the time when we were growing up for slamming doors and thrusting objects down, and it took a long time to figure out this wasn't intentional.

Other physical differences I've observed personally and in other aspie/AS-cousin people:
--Difficulty with avoiding walking into walls or door frames
--Balance differences- Huge issue for many people I know
--Either hyper- or hypotonic muscles, ussually subclinical
(In more common terms, either muscles are too tight or too lax. Lots of professional literature claims hypotonia (too loose), but my experience with aspies and autistic kids is that hypertonia is at least as likely).
--Difficulty holding or carrying objects without dropping or crushing them, especially when stacked (often small or awkwardly shaped objects are more difficult than larger/heavier objects)
--Difficulty with dialing phones or pushing other small buttons in an order that changes with each use
--Startle reflex that can seem extreme to NTs- jumping high in the air or lashing out when a sudden noise or other stimulus startles
--Movement issues related to sensory overload, such as pulling away when touched or moving in such a way to avoid looking at something that is overstimulating

Any of the above could easily be misattributed. For example, a person who is observed with balance problems and walking into walls might be assumed to be drunk. I've been accused of intentionally damaging dishes that I've dropped due to difficulty holding small objects.