I just looked over the page you linked to. I do agree it would be good to give to any teacher who is dealing with a child with disabilities. I think it also is especially good to explain, that even emotional entraptment (which isn't a professional phrase, but it's what I went through) is trumatizing to a child. I guess it would be more broadly considered as emotional abuse. Where you make a child feel that no matter what they do they can't escape a stressing situation. Or if they do, they'll just land in a more stressing situation.
I also feel that the whole idea of detention, is seclusion with a different name. You're not in a room by yourself, but you are in a place where you have no free will to leave. I always was paranoid of detention, for that reason, of feeling helpless and trapped.
I think the schools really don't at all understand that there is a connection to truma and emotional abuse, they just see it as oh well I was overworked..or I didn't know what else to do. I have what they described on the page, the over-reactive "fight or flight" response from going to public school. I think this is a result of being put in a situation where I felt nobody would help me, so the only option I had was to defend myself.
Then I got in trouble for standing up for myself, even though if I went to the teacher and told them what happened, they wouldn't do anything about it. It's a repeated situation daily, if a student is put into such a position.
I also am not aware if I ever was restrained. I'm pretty sure I wasn't, I mean that's something you would remember right? It's hard when your a child to understand what the difference between restraining is, vs being discplined. Like, I know I never went through anything as severe as the other children on the site.
However, it's like when someone's mom is dragging their child out of a store crying. Is that a form of restrainment, or is it just a normal thing. I think it's really the perception of it, and a situational thing.
I am going to look into the websites mentioned at the page. I don't know why but the whole thing interests me, just that I'll probaly never understand how people can do something so immoral. It just isn't in me, and for the record it isn't in a majority of Aspie/Auties I know. And we're the ones who need to be cured? :roll:
One thing that worries me most about my daughter starting middle grades this year is the fear of bullies, some kids are incredibly cruel.
She had a girl last year that would constantly tell her"she shouldn't even be allowed to live" The worst part is that a lot of the times teachers don't do enough to prevent bullying or to stop it once they are made aware.
We didn't have a very understanding teacher last year who came right out and said in a very irritated tone that "she doesn't know any thing about aspergers", and" I just don't know what to do with her", she is always correcting me while I am teaching!" I had to have a talk with my daughter about that because it was inappropate to correct her teacher but at the same time it infurated (my daughter) when she knew she knew the teacher wasn't teaching the real facts and was right most of the time, and that is one thing she just can't handle is knowing something backward and forward and someone not getting it right. The teacher said she loved my daughter but she just didn't know how to "handle her". I explained that it wasn't her job to handle her but to teach her.
My daughter's doctor had suggested she learn about the disorder that my daughter has and maybe she could make some changes that would have some positive effects on the classroom behavior. the teacher used to INSIST that Haley "look at her when she was talking to her. I had told her that she doesn't make eye contact most of the time and it wasn't that she wasn't listenening or hearing her it was just that face to face eye contact was to much for her.
I don't know what I would do if someone physically restrainied my child as a form of punishment.
The teachers should be made aware that they are, if not more, sadistic then the children they ignore who bully.
Ah yes, I know all about "emotional entrapment", having copped this kind of shite ever since I was about 3 years old! It is especially prevalent in schools and workplaces.
I also think that all it needs for bullying to flourish is teachers and bosses and parents not to do anything about it. I know they are overworked but they are still the adults and therefore, responsible.
Oh, god, emptional entraptment. I'm going through it right now, and I'm not sure if I'll get out of it once I hit adulthood.
I'm trapped in a stressing environment. I have to do everything they tell me to do, and when I skip something to simply take a break and relax, it only causes more stress because I have to make it up.
I feel like I'm forbidden from living up to my dream: to be famous for writing successful American comics and teach people how to follow in my steps as an artist. Scratch that, I AM. After venting off steam at somebody for annoying the *** hell out of me, I was told by my teachers to calm down, so I did and started to draw. Drawing is my yoga. It helps me to relax and relieve stress, and one of the things that keeps me from killing myself. Instead, they stop me from trying to relax, and told me not to draw in school. I'm not supposed to draw because I don't appear to pay attention.
I'm not very organised either. What they don't realise is that I don't need to be so tightly organised. It may take me a few minutes to find things, but you can't have everything in life. Lack of organisation at least takes one thing off my stress list.
I'm also tired of me constantly being told to ignore bullies. The bully problem isn't very big this year. Last year, however, was hell. Not only were my drawings constantly being snatched out of my hands and being scribbled all over or ripped to pieces by BASTARDS, and even the preps tried to take advantage of me because I get too nice at times and sing stupid "K-I-S-S-I-N-G" songs of me and Jerard, who has an extreme form of echolaila. >> And the fact that I respond to these through violence just makes things worse because the teachers punish ME because I hit them over the head with paper. They don't fully care when my drawings get damaged because I'm not supposed to draw in school anyway. Bastards.
But this year, the only bully I actually have is my friend Austin's friend Artur, who is a complete idiot outside and inside. He doesn't appear as strong bullywise when standing next to me, so he himself isn't a very big deal. I think what's stopping me from getting bullies is because I'm sharing as many of my drawings with people as I can, so they know me more as an artist than a weird kid. Maybe the chain pants I wear are a part of it, too, because they make me look more like I chose to be weird and wasn't born weird, so it made me a appear a better character. Oh, and they scare seventh and sixth graders. =D It may also be because I know I have Asperger's this year, so the fact that I know why I'm weird helps me improve my social image.
Knowledge certainly is power.
Meiloyn, I wonder if, now that you have the diagnosis, you or your parents could engage in a conversation with the school about rethinking the drawing thing. Explain the drawing as being kind of your stim, the one thing that keeps stress at bay and helps you focus. It is really common for those on the spectrum to have one behavior that is likely to seem missplaced, but that actually helps them think the way they are supposed to at the moment. Offer an experiment, to see if maybe you actually perform better in school and retain more of the verbal information given to you if you are given the accomodation of being allowed to draw in class. If your performance goes up, they keep the accomodation. If your performance goes down, they scrap it.
Meiloyn, I wonder if, now that you have the diagnosis, you or your parents could engage in a conversation with the school about rethinking the drawing thing. Explain the drawing as being kind of your stim, the one thing that keeps stress at bay and helps you focus. It is really common for those on the spectrum to have one behavior that is likely to seem missplaced, but that actually helps them think the way they are supposed to at the moment. Offer an experiment, to see if maybe you actually perform better in school and retain more of the verbal information given to you if you are given the accomodation of being allowed to draw in class. If your performance goes up, they keep the accomodation. If your performance goes down, they scrap it.
I was diagnosed when I was around seven. My mom didn't TELL me because she thought it would hurt my feeling or something like that. Guess what? Making me unaware of the diagnosis was a BAD idea. Only this school year is turning out well socially. Simply because I know the answer, so I know what to do.
Anyway. I wouldn't try something like that because I like to go with the flow and only move rocks out of my way if they are hindering my movement. I try to do things privately, without other people jumping in, because I know how meddling and unhelpful other people can be. They expect me to study in school exactly the way the expect everyone to, but I prefer to float down my own river. I don't know if that made any sense to you, but basically, I never appear to be doing well performance-wise, even though I always turn out A's and B's, which is exactly what they want me to get. They're just going to turn the whole drawing thing down. I can smell it. Even if it works, they're just going to be annoying and unhelpful as usual. They never learn. >>
They probably never read Dav Pilkey's online autobiography either. http://www.pilkey.com/meet-dav.php Dav Pilkey is the author of Captain Underpants. He has ADHD and his teachers and counselors believed that he will never be successful in life because of the way he works. They have been proved wrong! Dav is now the writer of several popular books such as Captain Underpants. =D
Yeah, sorry for riding my Train of Thought for so long. It happens all the time.