06-04-2006, 05:16 PM
Autistic kids fall victim to parents who run amok
Sunday, June 04, 2006
DEBORAH KENDRICK
Anyone who has been a parent has at least one terrible moment where caring for a child seemed unbearable. Inconsolable infants, recalcitrant toddlers, preschoolers who refuse to sleep. I know; I had mine.
Once, my 2-year-old son screamed and shook his crib until . . . what? Until I thought I’d strangle him or drown us both? Who knows?
What I did, in fact, was go outside, closing the door behind me, and stand in the blissful silence. I breathed. I probably prayed. And I breathed some more. Then, because parents love their children more than life itself, I went back indoors, lifted my baby out of his crib, and administered whatever caretaking machinations were required until he was satisfied and we both were smiling.
None of my children is autistic. They did, however, have special needs, because all children have special needs. But no amount of rationalization or putting myself in another mother’s shoes can assist me in wrapping my mind around the actions of Karen McCarron or Agnes DeGroot these past few weeks.
DeGroot and her husband, Nicolaas, are charged with setting fire to their apartment in Linn County, Oregon, on May 14. Police reports indicate they locked the windows and door and left. Inside was 19-year-old Christopher DeGroot, who neighbors heard pounding on the walls. He died four days later. He was autistic.
And then there was little Katherine McCarron. She was diagnosed with autism at age 2. Her paternal grandfather describes her as a child who laughed at being tickled, said "I love you" and played with dolls. But autism means many different things in the lives of many children. In Katie’s case, she didn’t always sleep well, and she learned to communicate more slowly than "typical" toddlers.
Her mother, a physician, and her father, an engineer, had agreed to live apart 20 months in order to get Katherine quality services in another state. Finally, though, they agreed it was time to bring the family back together at their home near Peoria, Ill.
We’ll never know what the little girl might have become or how she might have flourished in her upscale neighborhood with both parents. On May 13, Dr. McCarron confessed to putting a plastic bag over her 3-year-old’s head until she suffocated.
What is wrong with these people?
And now there’s Autism Every Day,a 13-minute film aired at a New York City fundraiser and again on MSNBC. Some disability rights leaders fear it could persuade some people that raising an autistic child is so unbearable that murder, suicide or some combination thereof is understandable.
That’s where Adolf Hitler’s slaughtering crusade began: Put those poor imperfect babies out of their misery and an bring end to their parents’ suffering.
One mom in Autism Every Day states pathetically that her child will never marry. "How do you know that?" is what my heart is screaming at her.
Did anyone know when Temple Grandin was 3 or 6 or 10 that she would become a world renowned scientist and writer?
I’ve heard parents of deaf kids, blind kids, kids with Down syndrome and other disabilities make the same kinds of pronouncements: My child will never (fill in the blank). To all of them I say no human can predict what another human will accomplish.
One parent can raise a child who is brilliant, athletic and gifted, but turns out to be a murderer, arsonist, or thief. Another can raise a child who has significant disabilities but becomes an inventor, political leader or humanitarian.
To raise a child with autism is a daunting task that takes boundless reserves of energy, vigilance and devotion. As a society, we need to help parents who have been assigned such jobs for which they never applied.
But to justify hurting or murdering any child is garbage.
A child is the greatest gift there is. A parent who destroys that gift deserves no pity.
Deborah Kendrick is a Cincinnati writer and advocate for people with disabilities.
dkkendrick@earthlink.net
finally an article that puts these children as humans, unlike what autism speaks wants us to think as killing children as okay.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
DEBORAH KENDRICK
Anyone who has been a parent has at least one terrible moment where caring for a child seemed unbearable. Inconsolable infants, recalcitrant toddlers, preschoolers who refuse to sleep. I know; I had mine.
Once, my 2-year-old son screamed and shook his crib until . . . what? Until I thought I’d strangle him or drown us both? Who knows?
What I did, in fact, was go outside, closing the door behind me, and stand in the blissful silence. I breathed. I probably prayed. And I breathed some more. Then, because parents love their children more than life itself, I went back indoors, lifted my baby out of his crib, and administered whatever caretaking machinations were required until he was satisfied and we both were smiling.
None of my children is autistic. They did, however, have special needs, because all children have special needs. But no amount of rationalization or putting myself in another mother’s shoes can assist me in wrapping my mind around the actions of Karen McCarron or Agnes DeGroot these past few weeks.
DeGroot and her husband, Nicolaas, are charged with setting fire to their apartment in Linn County, Oregon, on May 14. Police reports indicate they locked the windows and door and left. Inside was 19-year-old Christopher DeGroot, who neighbors heard pounding on the walls. He died four days later. He was autistic.
And then there was little Katherine McCarron. She was diagnosed with autism at age 2. Her paternal grandfather describes her as a child who laughed at being tickled, said "I love you" and played with dolls. But autism means many different things in the lives of many children. In Katie’s case, she didn’t always sleep well, and she learned to communicate more slowly than "typical" toddlers.
Her mother, a physician, and her father, an engineer, had agreed to live apart 20 months in order to get Katherine quality services in another state. Finally, though, they agreed it was time to bring the family back together at their home near Peoria, Ill.
We’ll never know what the little girl might have become or how she might have flourished in her upscale neighborhood with both parents. On May 13, Dr. McCarron confessed to putting a plastic bag over her 3-year-old’s head until she suffocated.
What is wrong with these people?
And now there’s Autism Every Day,a 13-minute film aired at a New York City fundraiser and again on MSNBC. Some disability rights leaders fear it could persuade some people that raising an autistic child is so unbearable that murder, suicide or some combination thereof is understandable.
That’s where Adolf Hitler’s slaughtering crusade began: Put those poor imperfect babies out of their misery and an bring end to their parents’ suffering.
One mom in Autism Every Day states pathetically that her child will never marry. "How do you know that?" is what my heart is screaming at her.
Did anyone know when Temple Grandin was 3 or 6 or 10 that she would become a world renowned scientist and writer?
I’ve heard parents of deaf kids, blind kids, kids with Down syndrome and other disabilities make the same kinds of pronouncements: My child will never (fill in the blank). To all of them I say no human can predict what another human will accomplish.
One parent can raise a child who is brilliant, athletic and gifted, but turns out to be a murderer, arsonist, or thief. Another can raise a child who has significant disabilities but becomes an inventor, political leader or humanitarian.
To raise a child with autism is a daunting task that takes boundless reserves of energy, vigilance and devotion. As a society, we need to help parents who have been assigned such jobs for which they never applied.
But to justify hurting or murdering any child is garbage.
A child is the greatest gift there is. A parent who destroys that gift deserves no pity.
Deborah Kendrick is a Cincinnati writer and advocate for people with disabilities.
dkkendrick@earthlink.net
finally an article that puts these children as humans, unlike what autism speaks wants us to think as killing children as okay.