In a recent study, it was shown that over 90% of males with AS will have had at least one homosexual relationship before reaching the age of 30. The study supports previous studies which showed that aspies know sexuality only as it has been shown and taught to them by society. In other words, left without sexual guidance, a vast majority of male aspies would be homosexual.
Partners of aspies might be well served to pay attention to close male friends with whom the male aspie may be having an emotional, if not sexual relationship. Although many factors are believed to result in homosexuality, for a male aspie, it could be nearly impossible to ever fully understand the dynamics of a heterosexual relationship as they more than likely do not understand the emotional needs of a female partner.
In most cases, the only close, long term relationships a male aspie may have had would be with other men. Were a female partner of an aspie to look closely, she would more often than not find a very close male friend of the aspie. Although not always sexual, the male friend would tend to offer a potentially better match for the aspie as the male aspie has what has been described as the "ultimate male brain." With that brain, the male aspie is almost completely unable to fully understand and develop a full relationship with a woman.
As has previously been learned, aspies, especially male aspies, are rarely capable of mature relationships. In most cases, the relationships take on the patterns of what NT's would have experienced in their teens. Many female partners of male aspies believe that unwavering support of their aspie partner will foster a loving and caring relationship. Unfortunately, in most cases, the aspie is merely "play acting" what he believes he should offer his partner. His actions are more often than not carefully contrived actions designed to express feelings that he does not actually feel.
Sadly, the study has shown that most male aspies partner as an avoidance of being alone and to conform to societal norms. If the male aspie creates even minor concerns in his partner about his full involvement (loses interest in her needs and interests, obsesses about his own interests, etc), it is highly likely that he is in actuality homosexual and following guide posts to creating the illusion of a full relationship.
In conclusion, unfortunately, the study has shown that partners of such male aspies are highly likely to feel unfulfilled in their quest to partner with the aspie. Once the novelty of the relationship ends and the harder task of maintaining the relationship begins, the male aspie will falter as he is unable to be the partner she would want.
Women partnered to male aspies should be especially concerned were the male aspie frequently discuss a future with children as that is often an indicator of their belief that a child will deliver unconditional love. Similarly, the female should be careful in offering "unconditional love". She should, in fact, ask the tough questions of her male partner. If his answers are not direct and prompt, they are most likely responses designed to obtain a desired response and companionship.
WereI'm glad I'm not the only one to find the study quoted in aspiedr's post hysterically mis-informed.
Given that the vast majority of adult Aspies are undiagnosed, it makes no sense to extrapolate
to the whole population the results gleaned from those individuals who have come to the attention of sexologists; presumably because they have dysfunctional relationships.
That is as bad as the old assumption that, since some women in the fifties were studied and found to be incapable of having a fulfilling sex life, our whole gender must be equally unable to enjoy it as much as men!
When will sexologists stick their heads out of the lab and see that there is a whole world of people out there getting on very nicely, thank you, who will never need their dubious services?
And since when has being homosexual something that results from being 'left without sexual guidance'? I thought that particular theory was discredited a very long time ago.
Were I not one of the clinicians involved in the study, I might find the results as amusing as you do. However, as most aspies here are suffering from poor relationships, might it not be plausible that you are fishing in the wrong pond?
And, no, the theory has never been discredited and statistics show that compared to aspies in heterosexual relationships, aspies in homosexual relationships fare almost 4 times better in terms of having lasting relationships.
Laugh all you will, but statistics point to different conclusions. Have any of you tried "switching teams" to test the theory? Do you have long lasting male platonic relationships?
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The study results will be published this spring. Over 1,000 male aspies participated and over 100 clinicians all across the US, Canada, Great Britain and Germany. To date, it is the single most extensive study done regarding AS and sexuality. Yes, it only studied male subjects. As a psychologist, I am no doubt noticing the anger at which the participants of this forum seem to greet this information. Rather than thankful that studies are being performed, they seem to exhibit anger at the possibilty that a large majority of aspies may be gay. The study did not say that ALL aspies are gay, just a majority.
May I ask, rather than spending time online in forums with other self-defensive aspies, are any of those here seeking professional help with their AS? It appears not. And that is sad.
I'm glad I'm not the only one to find the study quoted in aspiedr's post hysterically mis-informed.
Given that the vast majority of adult Aspies are undiagnosed, it makes no sense to extrapolate
to the whole population the results gleaned from those individuals who have come to the attention of sexologists; presumably because they have dysfunctional relationships.
That is as bad as the old assumption that, since some women in the fifties were studied and found to be incapable of having a fulfilling sex life, our whole gender must be equally unable to enjoy it as much as men!
When will sexologists stick their heads out of the lab and see that there is a whole world of people out there getting on very nicely, thank you, who will never need their dubious services?
And since when has being homosexual something that results from being 'left without sexual guidance'? I thought that particular theory was discredited a very long time ago.
Were I not one of the clinicians involved in the study, I might find the results as amusing as you do. However, as most aspies here are suffering from poor relationships, might it not be plausible that you are fishing in the wrong pond?
And, no, the theory has never been discredited and statistics show that compared to aspies in heterosexual relationships, aspies in homosexual relationships fare almost 4 times better in terms of having lasting relationships.
Laugh all you will, but statistics point to different conclusions. Have any of you tried "switching teams" to test the theory? Do you have long lasting male platonic relationships?
What on earth leads you to the conclusion that "most aspies here are suffering from poor relationships"? Yes, there are one or two being quite vocal on the subject, but it is always the squeaky wheel that gets the grease, in this case the research dollars. Relationships that last for over a half century until the death of one partner (in my parents' generation) and over a quarter century so far in my generation, simply do not make it into studies.
Please allow us to test the validity of your assertions by giving us a link to the peer-review journal in which the study was published, and links to supporting studies.
How big was your sample? What was the age-range of the Aspies that took part? And why do you seem to assume that Asperger's Syndrome solely effects males?
Let me clarify:
By training, it means by social norms and upbringing, not via a manual. It is strongly believed that aspies become what they perceive as what they should be.
I appreciate your being open about being bisexual. I think your openess and others discussing their sexuality in this forum supports the findings of the study: a significantly higher percentage of make aspies are homosexuals or bisexual....other than heterosexual.
again, thank you
Well as you just showed up and this was your first post it was a little provocative.
I'm not gay...and many of the people on this forum aren't.
I am however bi...I base this on attraction physicaly, spiritualy, and socialy.
So many of us weren't diagnosed untill long after the "training" period so we aren't biased as being Aspie by nature not by designation.
As for treatment...yes I was treated for ADD by a doctor who read what was on his coffee cup and thats how he prescribed.
So what was I before 1994...I'm now 51 y.o.
Where is this training manual for determining my sexual gender preference.
Don't asume I'm angry...I'm enjoying wandering through this with you.
Between this post and my last I spent real time with a real person...
A human male...we are friends...
So I see I am to desist...
Tim( thanks for the therapy...)
Aspies often refuse to accept anything they can not understand. I am a professional. Over 100 professionals participated in the study. Over 1000 male aspies were studied. Perhaps, you should put aside your AS and be open to the study. While you do not have to agree with the findings of the study, you should be open to the chance that all or part of it might be true.
The study results will be published this spring. Over 1,000 male aspies participated and over 100 clinicians all across the US, Canada, Great Britain and Germany. To date, it is the single most extensive study done regarding AS and sexuality. Yes, it only studied male subjects. As a psychologist, I am no doubt noticing the anger at which the participants of this forum seem to greet this information. Rather than thankful that studies are being performed, they seem to exhibit anger at the possibilty that a large majority of aspies may be gay. The study did not say that ALL aspies are gay, just a majority.
So, no peer review yet. So why are you putting up a tentative conclusion on a public forum when your study hasn't even been published yet? not very professional.
May I ask, rather than spending time online in forums with other self-defensive aspies, are any of those here seeking professional help with their AS? It appears not. And that is sad.
Do you happen to be acquainted with Yetti? You and she seem to be hand in glove with your patronising attitude. Self-defensive? Who else are we supposed to defend when our selves are attacked?
Actually, the prevailing attitude to your first post is amusement at its patent falsehoods. Most of us have created perfectly good lives for ourselves, thank you. If you think that our attitude is a little harsh, just wait until the professionals get their teeth into your study - I expect that it will be ripped apart.
So, you are bisexual. Why not be pleased by the information gathered and not attack it, Tim. Yes, the pressure to conform to societal standards is quite high. I am glad that you have been able to make a life for yourself.
The goal of a study like this is to find ways to help people feel better about themselves and have happier lives. The study showed, and that is all I was saying, that it is easier for male aspies (as a statistic) to find longer lasting relationships with other males.
There is no lie here. Nobody is selling anything. Al I was suggesting was for male aspies unable to find good relationships as heterosexuals to be open to seeking that relationship (possibly) with another man and to not be confined to heterosexuality solely from outside pressures they may not fully understand. ....An aspie may not realize that his desire to meet and marry a female male be based more on what he sees others do than on what would work best for him.
That's all and I sincerely apologize if you have been offended. Of note, in clinical studies, a man having a sexual relationship with a man is, at that moment, homosexual. The act is homosexual. Should that man have sex with a female, that is heterosexual. The man could/would be bisexual in that he has both homosexual relations and heterosexual relations. I hope that clarifies the matter.
Have you actuallybeen arrested for "renting" in the Phillipines or are you being sarcastic?
Well if I should have been what I was "supposed" to be I would have been a straight middleclass white alpha male.
Which I am not and never have been...I am beige with spots(moles).
I can asure you that being a combat flight crew member there was lots of pressure to perform all the tasks of a "Straight" male...including rent teenagers in the Phillipines.
Going to Portsmith prison and being charged as a Federal Sex Criminal is not taken lightly.
If you wish to pursue the pressure I was under to be "normal"...be ready!
Yes I tried to fit in...
The tolerance level of the people I met in the civilian world would rather I was a fashionable gay than an individual...
I have found the Aspie diagnosis usefull in finding out a little bit more about myself.
I feel alot better now that I have a forum of likeminded people to socialize with online.
I still socialize offline so it has added to my life.
It has made it easier as I know that those never ending awkward moments are not all there is to interaction...and on rare occasion I meet a person who I become friends with or much more...they are just rather rare...
BTW it seems you changed it to include Bi which you didn't mention till I did...does your data change with the person you are addressing...that is an NT way of lieing...I think they call it "Spin"...
Tim
Perhaps, noting the responses of aspies in such a forum to data is also part of the study? And the reactions here confirm what has long been believed: That aspies d not like change and also prefer to wallow than to take action to help them selves.
Does simply commsierating with fellow aspies do anything to help you? As you know, aspies are very likely to stay locked on a computer and have chats than to actually go out and meet people in the flesh.
So, I would suggest that you sod off, log off and go out into the world and meet new people today instead of exchanging bitter emails with each other.
And I am saying that as a doctor. Or are you so deep into your AS that you'd prefer to stay and type?
Aspiedr, why don't you take the hint like the good little NT you claim to be (as you know, us poor misguided closet homosexual Aspies can't take hints ourselves) and SOD OFF?
I am in Connecticut in the USA. Might I ask why you arwe more concerned with discrediting a study than to even consider the findings? Attacking new information is a typical AS response. Rigidity, sir, rigity.
Of course if you ARE a doctor, you'd be happy to supply your credentials wouldn't you? After all, you seem to be giving us clinical advice here.......................I'd like to be able to check up on it, Dr Jean-Pierre.
Please note, I said "perhaps". I just find it curious that the responses attack information rather taking from it.
In accordance with the rules, you have now been reported for misusing that sector of the forum. Please read things before making choics. Rigidity.
Perhaps, noting the responses of aspies in such a forum to data is also part of the study? And the reactions here confirm what has long been believed: That aspies d not like change and also prefer to wallow than to take action to help them selves.
Does simply commsierating with fellow aspies do anything to help you? As you know, aspies are very likely to stay locked on a computer and have chats than to actually go out and meet people in the flesh.
So, I would suggest that you sod off, log off and go out into the world and meet new people today instead of exchanging bitter emails with each other.
And I am saying that as a doctor. Or are you so deep into your AS that you'd prefer to stay and type?
Aspiedr, why don't you take the hint like the good little NT you claim to be (as you know, us poor misguided closet homosexual Aspies can't take hints ourselves) and SOD OFF?
If you are a doctor, and you have posted your preliminary result here in order to get our response, then this is unauthorised research as per forum rules and you will be banned.
If you are a doctor, then your behaviour here is a disciplinary matter.
If (as the rest of us suspect) you are, in fact, delusional I suggest you take your own advice and remove yourself and your bizarre fantasies to a professional.
Please provide an administator and I will make sure that the data s ent once released. To whom might the package be addressed?
quote=ocampo]
I am in Connecticut in the USA. Might I ask why you arwe more concerned with discrediting a study than to even consider the findings? Attacking new information is a typical AS response. Rigidity, sir, rigity.
No, I'm a sociologist. From one scientist to another, I'd like facts, figures, statistics and reliable sources. Thats not an AS trait, its an academic response. Didn't they teach you anything at university?
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Hey Tigger, you mentioned before in a different thread that you do not like feminisms turning into a fanatical race to make women more like men (and in my opinion make men more like women) but you support its biggest achievement - homosexuality/lesbianism as a lifestyle? That seems to be absolutely paradoxical.
The only place homosexuality/lesbianism belongs is sexual exploration and self-discovery. Lots of young people have homosexual/lesbian encounters when they are young, but thats as far as it goes. Don't get me wrong, I would not stop someone from doing it... their choice, but I don't agree with it.
Logicalconclusion
That might be a bit of generalization, Zakkie.
Hello Zoe!!!
Welcome, pull up a seat, ignore the troll, he's a work in progress
Yeah Batman.. wasn't sure what Saint's post was about, I only scanned through it.