Aspies For Freedom

I have no interest in physical contact which includes sex so I guess I'm asexual and a few of the women I work with describe me in that way and I'm happy with that. To me the point of sex is reproduction and nothing else. This has nothing to do with belief's or anything like that, just facts. To me the persuit of sex through dating, etc. is a waste of time so I've never done it. I think sex is a waste of time unless its purpose is reproduction, so if people want to have sex it is irrelevant to me if it's man-woman/ man-man/ woman-woman or an multiple's of that. I don't really understand the point of defining homo/ hetro, etc. I don't understand it.

I've never had a girlfriend, if I tell people that sometimes they say 'are you gay?' and I say no because sex is for reproduction so to me sex is pointless as I don't want a child and women and men to me are just friends. Why friends need to have sex I don't know.

I don't understand how a non-sex relationship is anything other than very good friendship. I would have though that a physical side would be needed to justify calling a relationship gay or straight. Without intimacy are people not just good friends. I don't understand.

Or maybe you're not ready for anything too serious just yet.

It would annoy me alot to discover someone tried to make friends with me on the basis I might be gay. I'm not, so anyone even thinking it would annoy me and probably make me look stupid in the view of other people. I am neutral to the sexuality of others but I don't agree with making assumptions or making friends on the basis of sexual feeling when that is in doubt. It would be better to persue someone who is openly gay rather than someone who is attractive to a gay person, but may not even consider being gay themselves. I would forget about it.

The statement I made was about the issue Richard mentioned and if I was the guy concerned this is how I would react. It may or may not help. If you pull the post apart then you change my meanings. This is unfair because it was only meant as a complete option on one issue, not a judgement on how sexuality should be expressed in general.

I would take Max's advice too because I wouldn't have even been able to approach them!

This is a good idea because you can find out about him with a question that is socially acceptable to all sexualities.

If he says he is doing nothing and then asks what your doing you could say that your gay but you haven't got a partner at the moment. Then he may give you a response that confirms his sexuality and clears the air for you. Will he just be a friend or a possible partner.

Maybe if neither of you are doing anything you could make a suggestion that you meet up.

Good luck, Michael.

I am asexual, I never mind admitting it as its a fact. I've never had a crush on anyone or been in love. I am not gay- althought that is debatable- and I do find some women attractive, I am told that I flirt with women all the time, but I have no instinct for intimacy, strange but true.

Love seems to be a complex thing. People can be in love but have no sex or not in love and still have sex, etc. people in relationships seem to spend alot of time arguing and then making up. I think they like the making up, so perhaps thats why they argue.

Alex and Seven--

Now we're getting into space where we'll be constantly explaining to people what we're talking about.

I'm bi, and that's the short answer.  I don't agree with gender roles as it denies people the opportunity to express themselves naturally.  I would have no problem talking with you both in the ways you describe yourselves.

I guess what interests me is how do we talk about it seriously with the world at large, or is that important?  I think at base level, we are what we are, and what the rest of the world thinks shouldn't matter.  

Just thinking out loud.  Interested in your thoughts.

Metta, Jaye.

I would have thought gay people could come from all walks of life so it is disappointing if even the gay community stereotypes who should be "gay" and who shouldn't be.

Does anybody have the issue where they are happy with the gender they are physically but feel that they got a mind that should have belonged to a person of the opposite sex. This is how I feel sometimes as I often don't seem to find much common ground with the societal stereotype of how a woman should act, think, and look.

I think some people get scared and assume things such as gay guys have aids and they will catch it. I know this is so wrong, but there is so much ignorance about people who are "different" in any way. For instance, I find it so hard to explain to people that I have a "male brain" although I'm a female and straight.

OK, my main problem with this is that my family are all strongly christian, so I'm worried about how they'll react when I first tell them, and how they'll try to support me thereafter. Also, where do you think I should in the way of getting to know someone? (I live in Chelmsford, btw).

"...where do you think I should *look* in the way of..."

Max, if by minor you mean someone that's potentially the submissive one in a relationship (like major/minor to dominant/submissive) then I guess that's a Yes, I am a "minor" living at home still (I'm 20).

As for the family problem, I managed (slowly) to tell my mum about this, and she seems OK with it - she told me (rightly) that this is something I can (and should) take slowly, and work out carefully. So thankfully my mum, at least, is non-hating (my dad probably will be OK with it too). It's actually a relief that she didn't start crying or something, as I thought she might, but since shes a trained counsellor, she discussed it quietly and calmly. *breaths sigh of relief*.

I'd still appreciate any thoughts/ suggestions about how/where to find "someone", but like my mum said, no rush.

Are they really illegal immigrants or are they asylum seekers? It makes a big difference.