I recently discovered that I have Asperger's (finally an explanation), but I'm having a hard time explaining to my partner how it all works. I don't want to hurt his feelings by explaining how I have "love" for him but it's probably not felt the same way. Physical contact (hugs and such) have always been a problem for me and he's already mentioned that to me as hurting his feelings. I don't know how to explain to him how I am the way I am without hurting him more. Any suggestions?
Is your feeling of love different? Or do you mean the expression of love ie hugging?
both really... i know what love is and how it's supposed to feel and everything. i feel love, but it doesn't seem like it's the same for my partner. i definitely don't go for the hug thing. as long as it's brief, i'm okay, but if it's too long, i start to panic.
If his love and your love are different, it doesnt make his version right, and yours wrong, they are both equal.
He could hurt your feelings by wanting a hug when you don't, so he needs to understand you too, its 50/50.
Don't feel guilty about it, just try and explain it or let him read some info on autism himself
http://www.autism-wiki.com
Good point... I think part of the problem is that I'm not sure he believes the diagnosis 100% yet. I have a nephew whose asperger's is pretty severe. He's also a 6 year old so it's a bit more pronounced. He's a classic case right down to the hand flapping. I think he looks at me and then looks at my nephew and thinks "how can sonny have asperger's? he's nothing like that"
I'll have to have him read some literature to help him understand it a bit better... :roll:
I have the same hugging problem. I start to panic if it's too long.
If I offend anyone due to those reasons or any other, I can't get over the guilt and it will stay with me for years and years and just eat me up, even though that person may have been offended but he/she may get over it quite quickly.
I always feel in the end I'm the loser no matter what.