Aspies For Freedom

Hi. My mother seems to think I have asperger's. I would agree I am very different than my peers, and have considered myself an imperfect human. However, after examining the Wikipedia article on it, I find inconsitencies between myself and the criteria. Unfortunately, I find the listed criteria too profesionally written and hard to understand, so I may not have a full grasp on it. I have looked around for some kind of disorder more suited with negative results.

I have taken some of these online asperger's tests with results usually close to the asperger's standard, but not quite there. I am also worried I may have subconciously identified more with the answers I knew would register as positive in an attempt to fit in a category. I remember feeling quite positive a while ago that I was a masochist, before reading about self-injury and realizing I wasn't.

It is my hope that by listing my various abnormalities, the members of this board may be able to confirm or deny the asperger's suggestion, and/or offer another suggestion. So, in a nutshell:

I have always been very emotional. What the causes were have vanished from my memory, but I remember often bursting into tears during school (preschool-1st grade) so much that my teachers insisted to my parents that I be homeschooled. I remember feeling very betrayed when I found out a square was a type of rectangle and not a shape of its own as the school's countless sheets informed me. While it sounds horribly arrogant, I believe I was smarter than my classmates. I remember an intense shyness as a kid that still continues to today. I believe my relative isolation due to homeschooling has not given me plentiful chances to improve social skills.

I believe my television watching has given me overly dramatic body language. If you notice, nobody really acts to the degree shown in fiction. People often say I'm 'shouting', when at this point it's all pretty much involuntary. And on that note, I can easily understand fictional social interactions, while the real stuff confuses me to no end. Among other things, it's hard for me to look people in the eye. When they ask me to, I can't figure out how to do in a way that does not upset them.

I: (stares at their eyes)
They: Stop that; it's creepy!
I: (stares, but looks away rythmically)
They: Oh, you *know* that's not what I meant.
I: (gives up, stares at their nose)

I am very empathetic in the sense that when people express their pain, it feels like my pain, with physical effects. The other day, I made my mother feel very bad, and I myself felt near suicidal.

I am somewhat hedonistic with a love of tactal sensation, music, and color. While that's not very abnormal, it is a big part of my life. I have also always felt that pain is not a bad thing itself, but is rather an indicator of injury. Myself, I feel a pleasurable (non-sexual) sensation from the stimulation of pain. I have felt this all my life, and I know it not to be a learned trait.

...So, confirm/deny/suggest?

If it is mainly your mom thinking it, it could be because she doesn't like some aspects of your behaviour. If you persue it yourself, I would only do it for you, not because your mom wants you too.

If you score lower than aspies on the tests, you could simply have some aspie traits, like ingredients in a recipe.

Well, I think it's clear I'm less than normal. My mom may have come up with "asperger's", but my family has agreed for years that I'm mentally different. If it's not asperger's, surely it would be something, right? I was hoping I could perhaps be pointed in the right direction.

Less than normal is more than better.  :wink:
There are lots of things that make people different. If you scored low-ish on the aspie tests, there could be other things that could be different about you.
You could be eccentric, have traits, be unique.

I see.

Please delete this thread. I fear my parents reading it.

Unless your real name is dragonclaws how would anyone know it was you? :?

You can edit your own profile so that location shows as something else or can be left blank.

My parents know I use this name. I registered it out of habit. Please. At least, can you change the username (and all references to it) to "Tycho"?