05-15-2006, 04:06 PM
Hello,
My mother works with kids, and she came across with an asperger kid - obsessed by dinosaurs and gets hysterical if my mother does something (anything) differently than his mother does.
I wanted to know more of Aspergers syndrome. It felt like getting hit by a lightning when I noticed more and more symptoms which describe me perfectly. I did all the quizes and such, and I got high numbers: 185 from the 200 question quiz, 42 from the other and 36 from the last one... Can't remember the URL's now. Anyway, all signs point to it:
Bullied: For as long as I remember, more or less people make fun of me without me even mostly knowing about it. My friends ask me why I don't stand up for myself... And I ask has someone insulted me. Now I assume all people have malicious intents and behave with hostility.
Clumsy: Despite all my efforts, I never became good in any sport... I trained for years as a kid and never got anywhere. Team sports are the worst thing... I feel like I'm insignificant to the outcome of the match. I do mostly weight training now.
Smart: Yes, all tests show IQ over 140. I get frustrated when people don't understand my point of view, which is logically correct and all arguments support it. Sounds cocky but I'm trying to be honest.
Antisocial: I can't relate. I don't understand them. Or their problems. Or their plans for future. Or what they wear. Or the obnoxious music they listen. Or the attitude towards music in general. Or unwritten social bull****. Why do they always smile? Are they ridiculing me? Are they happy or just insane? Stop grinning when I'm acquiring information from you. Speak only when spoken to. I don't care what kind of weather it is. If I want to know that, I would look out of a window wouldn't I? And when you look someone in the eyes... Which eye are you looking into? And for how long? Sometimes I watch TV to learn some chit-chat... Which I then test with some individuals. They seem to enjoy it as long as I have pre-learned phrases to use, but when I run out of them, conversation stops. I don't care about "awkward silence". I just don't feel it. Don't speak unless you have important info to share. I guess it's obvious I haven't been dating, ever. Or had any contact with the opposite sex for that matter. It seems like an ability to produce irrevelant sonic patterns is a necessity in these things?
Hobbies: Music. I didn't listen to anything until at the age of 13 I heard heavy metal for the first time (thanks to overprotecting christian parents...) and it was then when I decided to devote my life to it. I even got bullied for not liking any music, while my peers bought the latest BSB album. Due to extreme bullying at school, I couldn't really be my true self until I had somewhat reconstructed my self-esteem around the age of 18. I tried to look at what others were wearing, and clothed myself accordingly. And felt horrible. Like a fraud. After that, I always dress the same way: in black. I only buy similar clothes, nothing really different. Only noticable change in me might be the band t-shirt I'm wearing.
Needless to say, I have no interest whatsoever in fashion or dress codes.
More hobbies: Computers! Endless interest in one single game, which I know everything about. I became known as the "guru" among the gaming community of that online role-playing game in question. I knew the game mechanics by every single detail. I played the role of a serial killer, merciless to even the weakest victims. I never felt like I ruined anyone's gaming experience. One. Single. Game. Hardly anything else. Then, BAM, it changed to level design. I designed levels for first person shooters. I've done that for 6 years, and I still do it. Either way, we are still talking about very narrow interests. These days it's all leaning towards the music I've been listening while playing and designing. I really want to express myself via extremely intense and technical metal. It would be the only way to express emotions at all, except distorted and vulgar humour or outbursts of rage I couldn't keep inside anymore.
Other: I think I write good English even though it's not my native language. It has always felt natural to me. Often I even think in English. I hate heat, love the cold. It's better to feel a bit cold than too hot. I hate the sun. I couldn't live a day without sunglasses.
I've always felt like an observer. Things happen, they just don't happen to me.
Like my (few) friends, we seem to be from a completely different world. Sometimes I feel superior, above all and their superficial world, sometimes inferior, like a total failure in the art of existing. These confidence swings can come in periods of weeks or even days. I wake up as the king of the world, and go to sleep like I never want to wake up again.
I'd like to know: Can one fake or subconsciously assume Asperger's syndrome characteristics to such extent that even a professional psychologist would make a false diagnosis? Or can someone who has thought he was normal for so long hide the symptoms so well that even a professional can not reveal them?
I'm getting diagnosed next month.
It would utterly destroy me to know that I am completely normal, just failed in every aspect of life. :evil:
I'm 21, male.
My mother works with kids, and she came across with an asperger kid - obsessed by dinosaurs and gets hysterical if my mother does something (anything) differently than his mother does.
I wanted to know more of Aspergers syndrome. It felt like getting hit by a lightning when I noticed more and more symptoms which describe me perfectly. I did all the quizes and such, and I got high numbers: 185 from the 200 question quiz, 42 from the other and 36 from the last one... Can't remember the URL's now. Anyway, all signs point to it:
Bullied: For as long as I remember, more or less people make fun of me without me even mostly knowing about it. My friends ask me why I don't stand up for myself... And I ask has someone insulted me. Now I assume all people have malicious intents and behave with hostility.
Clumsy: Despite all my efforts, I never became good in any sport... I trained for years as a kid and never got anywhere. Team sports are the worst thing... I feel like I'm insignificant to the outcome of the match. I do mostly weight training now.
Smart: Yes, all tests show IQ over 140. I get frustrated when people don't understand my point of view, which is logically correct and all arguments support it. Sounds cocky but I'm trying to be honest.
Antisocial: I can't relate. I don't understand them. Or their problems. Or their plans for future. Or what they wear. Or the obnoxious music they listen. Or the attitude towards music in general. Or unwritten social bull****. Why do they always smile? Are they ridiculing me? Are they happy or just insane? Stop grinning when I'm acquiring information from you. Speak only when spoken to. I don't care what kind of weather it is. If I want to know that, I would look out of a window wouldn't I? And when you look someone in the eyes... Which eye are you looking into? And for how long? Sometimes I watch TV to learn some chit-chat... Which I then test with some individuals. They seem to enjoy it as long as I have pre-learned phrases to use, but when I run out of them, conversation stops. I don't care about "awkward silence". I just don't feel it. Don't speak unless you have important info to share. I guess it's obvious I haven't been dating, ever. Or had any contact with the opposite sex for that matter. It seems like an ability to produce irrevelant sonic patterns is a necessity in these things?
Hobbies: Music. I didn't listen to anything until at the age of 13 I heard heavy metal for the first time (thanks to overprotecting christian parents...) and it was then when I decided to devote my life to it. I even got bullied for not liking any music, while my peers bought the latest BSB album. Due to extreme bullying at school, I couldn't really be my true self until I had somewhat reconstructed my self-esteem around the age of 18. I tried to look at what others were wearing, and clothed myself accordingly. And felt horrible. Like a fraud. After that, I always dress the same way: in black. I only buy similar clothes, nothing really different. Only noticable change in me might be the band t-shirt I'm wearing.
Needless to say, I have no interest whatsoever in fashion or dress codes.More hobbies: Computers! Endless interest in one single game, which I know everything about. I became known as the "guru" among the gaming community of that online role-playing game in question. I knew the game mechanics by every single detail. I played the role of a serial killer, merciless to even the weakest victims. I never felt like I ruined anyone's gaming experience. One. Single. Game. Hardly anything else. Then, BAM, it changed to level design. I designed levels for first person shooters. I've done that for 6 years, and I still do it. Either way, we are still talking about very narrow interests. These days it's all leaning towards the music I've been listening while playing and designing. I really want to express myself via extremely intense and technical metal. It would be the only way to express emotions at all, except distorted and vulgar humour or outbursts of rage I couldn't keep inside anymore.
Other: I think I write good English even though it's not my native language. It has always felt natural to me. Often I even think in English. I hate heat, love the cold. It's better to feel a bit cold than too hot. I hate the sun. I couldn't live a day without sunglasses.
I've always felt like an observer. Things happen, they just don't happen to me.
Like my (few) friends, we seem to be from a completely different world. Sometimes I feel superior, above all and their superficial world, sometimes inferior, like a total failure in the art of existing. These confidence swings can come in periods of weeks or even days. I wake up as the king of the world, and go to sleep like I never want to wake up again.
I'd like to know: Can one fake or subconsciously assume Asperger's syndrome characteristics to such extent that even a professional psychologist would make a false diagnosis? Or can someone who has thought he was normal for so long hide the symptoms so well that even a professional can not reveal them?
I'm getting diagnosed next month.
It would utterly destroy me to know that I am completely normal, just failed in every aspect of life. :evil:
I'm 21, male.