Aspies For Freedom

I think it's spelled kawaii^^;

Yes.

Yes and yes.

Mind you, I'm not commenting on likelihood nor ease.

Mine thinks those particular behaviors are adorable.

Useful insight from a web page of comments about aspie dating...

Perhaps being up-front about this factor would be useful. State it bluntly; "If you do the 'hard to get' thing and wait until I call/chase you, I won't. I don't get that kind of behaviour. You just need to pounce."  :wink:

Often it is good to date people who are from a different society (foriegners) since they will not notice the Autistic's social eccentricities so very much.

I have been very happilly married to a Swiss woman for 18 years now. I'm a High Functioning Autistic... a very similar thing to an Aspie  :grin:

Whilst I am Biologically Autistic, I call her Geographically Autistic since, although NT, she is alien to society also  :wink:

And my husband calls me sometimes alien, since I am both biologically and geographically autistic.  :wink:

From my experience it really is easier to be a foreigner in a foreign country than to be a sort of foreigner in your country...
First of all, some "mistakes" in speech can be interpreted as language-barrier even when it´s not the case.
Second, people are often more interested in to really listen to what you have to say, since they are more curious and often also more tolerable towards differencies in foreigners.
And third, it seems to be exotic to have a foreign girlfriend/boyfriend. So I think it might really be easier for aspies/people on the autistic spectrum to have relationships with persons from different backgrounds.

So far, in my own country I was always considered to be such a freak, although I had some relationships there too. Here I may be a bit weird, but not a freak- and that for me is whole lot better.

I was 21 when I had my first relationship, and it was quite a catastroph, I must say. I met my husband when I was 32 and he was 26, and he actually never had longer elationships than 2-3 months at maximum before that. He seems somewhat aspie too, although he´s much more capable of doing practical things etc.

Another friend of mine is also married to a foreigner, and although both of them don´t have any diagnosis, they come out quite strongly as aspergers too. Since they work in animationbusiness and are doing just fine, they don´t feel any need for diagnosis, although my friend said after I got mine, that she admits she could be.

I´ve also heard that aspies mature quite late- I don´t mean physically- and I must say that I was very very naive and childlike when I was under 30 years old..Well, I still am actually, and people usually think of me as 10 years younger. I am not saying that you would be naive, but I guess it´s quite usual that aspies get into relationships rather late?

Also, earlier the need for solitude and lot of personal space was always the problem in my earlier relationships, but luckily my husband understands and accepts that as he also needs lot of solitude and space for himself.
And, even though at times I thought I´ll never have a real long-lasting partnership and felt sometimes even desperate because of that, now I´m glad that I´ve had so many years of my own to discover the world and many things on my own- maybe that was necessary to be able to be in any kind of relationship at all.

So yes, I am sure that aspies can get girl/boyfriend, but it might take longer than with others.

I think part of what drew me to Irene 19 years ago, was that she was so different from me. She had the bubbles and I had the gravity... I gave her some gravity and she gave me some bubbles  :wink:

Last June we celebrated our 18th Wedding Anniversary - happy years.

Have courage ASira... I think you have a perfect attitude for coping with an AS or HFA partner.

Don't worry about changing... everybody changes whether the partner is AS, HFA or NT... it simple does not matter. That is part of 'growing together'... You should not be afraid of that... it is nice  :grin:

Our pleasure  :grin:

Perhaps you ought to be reading less Heinlein!

Stable marriage is anything but the NT way... a huge amount of NTs do not stick to 'strict heterosexual monogamy' - if they did then Venerial Diseases (or STDs if you prefer a rose by any other name...) would be rare things indeed.

Indeed, because Autistics are known for their loyalty, their awkwardness with deception, their adherence to rules, their difficulties with social situations... Strict Heterosexual Monogamy is quite possibly more common among Autistics in relationships than among the general NT population.

When non-monogamy was considered more shameful, the divorce rate was much lower than it is today in today's 'liberated' society.

So yes... perhaps less Heinlein (if that is what you learn from Robert's novels) and more factual literature and current affairs (no pun intended).

Crumbs, anybody would think you considered Robert Heinlein to be some sort of L. Ron Hubbard, with you taking his fictions as if fact to live by.

No I stated the near opposite to that which you stated.

Strict Heterosexual Monogamy is not Strict Heterosexual Monogamy but is Strict Heterosexual Monogamy by proclaimation only and not by fact if stated by a hypocrite who does not, in reality, adhere to it.

So what are we discussing? Actual Strict Heterosexual Monogamy or Hypocrisy... they are NOT the same thing - yet you appear to be compounding them.

Monogamy does NOT lead to unfaithfulness, or divorce because to do so it would, of necessity, no longer be in truth Monogamy.

I would say that neurotic and unfaithful, and the divorce rate is actually a direct responce to our current permissive society.

As for more parents than just two... traditionally, isn't that what Grandparents are supposed to be for? An extended familiar support system.

Parental strain is more down to current working society and tax systems than thinking that two isn't sufficient. In days gone by one parent would stay home usually... now I don't care if it is the Father or the Mother... but this is the ideal.

The state should not be supporting any industry, at all.  When the power of the state is used to meddle in industry, that industry will suffer, and all people connected to that industry will suffer--EXCEPTING for the apparatchiks who directly benefit from such state support, of course.

Ever hear of any cultures other than your own?

Erm... even if one feels one has to believe in something as dumb as Evolution... Even Evolutionists do NOT believe that we are 'mutated monkeys'.

According to Evolutionist thought, we evolved from hominids and if anything are classed as an Evolved Great Ape.

Mutant Monkeys we are not, nor have ever been by anybody's philosophy dumb or otherwise.

I'm not debating either. And who mentioned Creationism. Many non-Creationists are non-Evolutionists. I have not stated anything about Creationism.

Monkeys, Apes and Humans are all part of the Anthropoids, a sub-order of 'Primates'. Monkeys are not of the Ape family nor vice versa. There are many significant differences between monkeys, Apes and Humans.

I believe the hominid, from which human's are said to have evolved, is also that from which Apes evolved, but not monkeys which split off at an earlier point in the tree.

Anyhow... Garath... I was not intending to debate or distract from the topic at hand... I could not help but be pedantic when seeing such an error. I am sorry that I had to scratch that itch  :wink:

EDIT: I have just carried out a double check and can confirm that the sub order Anthropiods comprise of three separate families... the monkeys, the Apes, and the Hominids (only one hominid species being extant... that being Homo Sapien Sapien). When I previously wrote that we were classed with the Great Apes... that is something I heard on TV this week and is actually an error. We are not classed as a Great Ape.