04-21-2006, 11:12 AM
04-21-2006, 11:53 AM
I don't know about the teddy bear and other things, but lots of NT women seem to like Aspie men for being childish in many ways.
The more somebody looks new, the cuter they are. This is called neotony.
Women can be very maternal so sometimes it can be a mother-child or student-teacher relationship, particularly in academia.
Are you busy studying or working at the moment? Have you got any other interests other than being lonely and single? (I realise this is a bit harsh!)
Why do you want an NT girlfriend in particular? Or a girl as a friend, whether neurodiverse or not?
Have you looked deep inside yourself to think of the reasons you want human companionship at this time, this place? Or is this a primal urge which you haven't yet examined to your satisfaction?
The more somebody looks new, the cuter they are. This is called neotony.
Women can be very maternal so sometimes it can be a mother-child or student-teacher relationship, particularly in academia.
Are you busy studying or working at the moment? Have you got any other interests other than being lonely and single? (I realise this is a bit harsh!)
Why do you want an NT girlfriend in particular? Or a girl as a friend, whether neurodiverse or not?
Have you looked deep inside yourself to think of the reasons you want human companionship at this time, this place? Or is this a primal urge which you haven't yet examined to your satisfaction?
05-09-2006, 08:23 AM
Somehow I got lucky and one of my friends from elementary school was a girl...it just so happens that in high school we re-met and ended up together.
If it werent for that, I would have zero relationship experience and most likely wouldnt for a long time. Given the fact that I dont go anywhere, or do anything :?
If it werent for that, I would have zero relationship experience and most likely wouldnt for a long time. Given the fact that I dont go anywhere, or do anything :?
10-08-2006, 07:00 PM
(Getting back on-topic)
For me the great dilemma is that I don't want a girlfriend just for the sake of having a gf. Nor do I want a girl to like me for my money or my status (which is not unlikely to happen in the future), or even let that be the thing that first attracted her to me - I'll won't know me if she likes me as a person, which excludes persons who only know me for a day or two or blind dates.
Also, I don't feel the direct need for a gf either. I don't go out to make an effort for meeting girls.
However, I'm not opposed to do so when it's for someone I really hit it off with (though I may've sent out the wrong signal in the time that has passed). And there's always the 'coincidentally-bumping-into-Lady Love-thing'.
But I admit that my chances are pretty slim, because of my opinion on this. A depressing conclusion while I was a teen, now I see it as just an outcome of how things are going to be for me.
For me the great dilemma is that I don't want a girlfriend just for the sake of having a gf. Nor do I want a girl to like me for my money or my status (which is not unlikely to happen in the future), or even let that be the thing that first attracted her to me - I'll won't know me if she likes me as a person, which excludes persons who only know me for a day or two or blind dates.
Also, I don't feel the direct need for a gf either. I don't go out to make an effort for meeting girls.
However, I'm not opposed to do so when it's for someone I really hit it off with (though I may've sent out the wrong signal in the time that has passed). And there's always the 'coincidentally-bumping-into-Lady Love-thing'.
But I admit that my chances are pretty slim, because of my opinion on this. A depressing conclusion while I was a teen, now I see it as just an outcome of how things are going to be for me.
10-09-2006, 03:01 AM
Walking Bear Wrote:
You must admit that sex is still a need at the species level, even if individuals can survive without it. Further, matriarchal societies are as sexual as patriarchal ones, and no scientifically valid, repeated study has ever found that society has any measureable impact on individuals' sex drive.
You have no sex drive and this seems related to your conclusions. You appear to be convinced that male humans with sex drive are the cause of all or most evil in the world.
You have no sex drive and this seems related to your conclusions. You appear to be convinced that male humans with sex drive are the cause of all or most evil in the world.
I don't advocate a matriarchal society any more than I advocate a patriarchal one and I believe the domination of one group over another is always wrong.
I wouldn't consider myself asexual as I find women attractive and want an intimate relationship more than anything else - I just don't see the point in empty and pointless sex which doesn't involve any sort of true love or intimacy. And society does influence sexual behaviour which is why people are being pressured into having sex at an ever earlier age which they will most likely regret in the future.
Gareth Wrote:
Humans, contrary to what some believe, are animals (we're mutated monkeys who had the intelligence to take over essentially). Specifically, we are mammals who reproduce sexually and therefore do have urges to satisfy.
Humans have evolved from animals but unlike other animals they are a highly intelligent thinking species which does not simply follow predetermined biological urges.
Gareth Wrote:
Sex is a very real need (with the obvious exception of asexuals) which must be satisified for someone to be mentally healthy. Whether the person satisifies their sex drive via a consenting partner, pornography with masturbation or whatever other means doesn't matter. The point is that if the sex drive is repressed it does cause problems.
I don't think sex itself can be considered essential for people's mental health but I'm sure being in a relationship does help people in a number of ways.
Haplo Wrote:
I agree that the state has no obligation to ensure the happiness of individuals, however the current state in America seems to have an agenda that includes banning certain things that many people enjoy but doesn't hurt others. If your happiness involves hurting someone else, the state can say no, however... Marijuana is no more harmful than alcohol and cigarettes, yet is illegal in most countries. Prostitution is currently a non-legal business, so prostitutes get none of the benefits of any other job and are given no means of safety from disease or anything else, can't unionize, and are at the mercy of their pimps, who are practically above the law as a boss... There's not a single good reason why prostitution shouldn't be a business supported and regulated like any other.
I agree with you about marijuana and I consider myself to be a social libertarian. I oppose prostitution as it is incompatible with a genuinely free and egalitarian society where noone has the right to use their power and wealth to exploit others. I don't believe prostitution is somehow inevitable and that all attempts to tackle it will fail - in Sweden where it was made a criminal offence to buy (but not to sell) sex the number of clients fell by 80% while the trafficking of women into the country was almost completely eradicated. In countries like the Netherlands and Germany, on the other hand, where it is regulated there has been a massive increase in all areas of the sex industry and in the problems associated with it such as trafficking.
04-23-2007, 10:06 PM
Aye, tis true my mum says she was attracted to my dad (also with AS) because he was someone you could talk to, and also was very gentle..they're divorced now and they're still friends.
Besides, if AS is hereditary how can we possibly not get partners? we don't get dropped off by storks you know.
Ian
Besides, if AS is hereditary how can we possibly not get partners? we don't get dropped off by storks you know.
Ian
08-23-2007, 10:19 PM
I think that it is not only people with Asperger Syndrome who cannot get a girlfriend. I am 42 and have never had a girlfriend; yet I notice that there is so much low and inferior dross who score in that department. I do not have a diagnosis of A/S and I only partly suspect that I might be, so it is quite likely that it is not only people with A/S who are at a disadvantage in this department.
I have noticed that women generally gravitate towards the dross, while diminishing and belittling people such as myself. I experienced this as a problem long before I heard of A/S and even seemingly caring and sympathetic women actually despise me, in spite of my efforts to reach out to them.
Let's face it: the inability to get a girlfriend is not defined by whether or not you have A/S; it basically comes down to the fact that women are attracted to feculent odure, whilst real human beings (as opposed to the LUOL (Life Unworthy of Life) are the ones getting laid).
Yes, I do hope that HIV becomes far more transmissible, but in the interim, we are still left with the crushing sense of humiliation and the imposed sense of worthlessness this entails.
I have noticed that women generally gravitate towards the dross, while diminishing and belittling people such as myself. I experienced this as a problem long before I heard of A/S and even seemingly caring and sympathetic women actually despise me, in spite of my efforts to reach out to them.
Let's face it: the inability to get a girlfriend is not defined by whether or not you have A/S; it basically comes down to the fact that women are attracted to feculent odure, whilst real human beings (as opposed to the LUOL (Life Unworthy of Life) are the ones getting laid).
Yes, I do hope that HIV becomes far more transmissible, but in the interim, we are still left with the crushing sense of humiliation and the imposed sense of worthlessness this entails.
08-25-2007, 08:18 AM
Skotohelion Wrote:
adversarial, I HEAR YOU. BTW, are you employed at this time? Also, have you tried online dating? If you answered no to the last question I would give it try.
Yes, I am currently employed (thankfully!) and I actually get on really well with some of the people I work with, and with one person in particular, who I have a great deal of affection for and feel very close to.
I haven't tried on-line dating but I have heard of it. There is something about on-line dating that I find vaguely repellent, though I am not judging anyone who is comfortable with it and if people form friendships/relationships through forums that have nothing to do with dating, then that is as good as meeting for the first time in real life.
08-29-2007, 12:37 AM
SoulSick Wrote:
When your daughter is raped because some teenage male turns pedo or rapist as a man because no he's shut out of getting his sexual and needs for physical intimacy met, THEN you will understand. Don't give me this crap. It's you people that don't understand and thats why things like Virginia tech massacre happen, Cho most likely needed to be loved and have an outlet for his frustration.
The only reason why men commit rape is that they're vile woman-hating bastards. Prostitution has nothing to do with physical intimacy, it is about power and the desire of men to exert it over women. Surveys have repeatedly found that most so-called "clients" already have a sexual partner but maybe she won't allow herself to be used in the same way as they can get away with using the bodies of women enslaved by prostitution.
Skotohelion Wrote:
Thats abosolutely ASSININE!
Where , O WHERE did this article come from Jewelie?
Oraganized crime is ALREADY involved in prostitution here in the USofA where its illegal everywhere except Nevada due to bible-buttholes.
Since its illegal there's no regulation and that creates a need for Pimps-who of course have Mob/gang connections.
Where , O WHERE did this article come from Jewelie?
Oraganized crime is ALREADY involved in prostitution here in the USofA where its illegal everywhere except Nevada due to bible-buttholes.
Since its illegal there's no regulation and that creates a need for Pimps-who of course have Mob/gang connections.
Did you read the article she posted? It says that legalisation results in a dramatic increase in the involvement of organised crime - that in no way means that organised crime wasn't involved beforehand. The Dutch experience has shown that no amount of regulation is able to remove the criminal aspect of the sex industry - all it has done is sent out the message that it is perfectly acceptable for men to buy women's bodies as if they were a piece of meat in a supermarket.
09-02-2007, 08:46 AM
In my experience, whenever I have been stupid enough to take a liking to a girl, I have always been rejected outright and even disliked and despised for having such feelings. I cannot help but notice the sort of dross that women do gravitate towards in many instances and all that does is to reinforce the negative self-image that is imposed by this invidious state of affairs.
I simply don't exist as a viable potentiality in most women's minds and I am not supposed to be bitter and twisted about it after 42 years of being made to feel like sh*? I think I'll make up my own mind on that one!
I simply don't exist as a viable potentiality in most women's minds and I am not supposed to be bitter and twisted about it after 42 years of being made to feel like sh*? I think I'll make up my own mind on that one!
09-13-2007, 12:54 AM
Ziyaret Wrote:
Quote:
Humans, unlike animals, are a thinking species and they do not have predetermined roles which must be fulfilled.
UNLIKE animals???
If you actually knew what thinking is and would bother to inform yourself not only about animal behaviour and biology but about how hormones affect the human brain you'd realize what a thouroughly ignorant statement you made there. Decades of research have shown that animals, especially mammals, have the ability to recognize patterns, solve problems, and engage in social interactions that are astonishingly similar to humans. The fact that women are the ones who can get pregnant and give birth has profound biological implications regarding how they think, feel, and behave. You need to Educate Yourself Dude, big time.
I love animals but as far as I know my wee cat Daisy doesn't ask herself complex moral questions about right and wrong before she catches a mouse. Animals I'm afraid are incapable of thinking in such a way and that is one of the most important things which distinguishes humans from other species'. Maybe you're the one who has to "educate yourself" if you don't know that. I don't know how many times I need to say it but "human nature" does not exist and the fact that one society can differ so enormously from another is proof of that. You might think the fact that women can get pregnant is justification for their subordinate position in our society but I do not.
10-23-2007, 12:45 PM
[i]my professional background is in interpersonal skills training and there seems so little help for adult male Aspies to engage in full relationships with women that I"m wondering if there are training courses out there somewhere[/]
What makes you think that this is such a good idea? NT's generally make you a laughing stock if you show any interest in them; it must be some sort of visceral loathing that they experience because you become a complete and utter joke.
I think the best idea is to give up any pretence of such fruitless ambitions and to settle for what you can have in life.
I speak from experience and at age 42 I know for a fact that it will never happen.
It looks as though if I am denied that, then I will resort to hate instead; it is much more "Me" then trying for something I am never going to get.
What makes you think that this is such a good idea? NT's generally make you a laughing stock if you show any interest in them; it must be some sort of visceral loathing that they experience because you become a complete and utter joke.
I think the best idea is to give up any pretence of such fruitless ambitions and to settle for what you can have in life.
I speak from experience and at age 42 I know for a fact that it will never happen.
It looks as though if I am denied that, then I will resort to hate instead; it is much more "Me" then trying for something I am never going to get.
02-05-2008, 09:48 PM
TaylorS Wrote:
StuartM Wrote:
Haplo Wrote:
And what about the girls who want to become porn stars?
The only reason why girls aspire to such an occupation is because of the roles assigned to women by sexist male dominated society, the way in which society values women according only to how they look and to how much sexual gratification they can provide men with.
That kind of reasoning can be used to justify a paternalistic nanny state where people are told what they should and should not aspire to. If it is consensual I don't a problem with it. The state has no right to tell people what they can or cannot do with their own bodies.
All these people I'm in agreement, it's about *** time.
Looks like my little "unscheduled vacation" was worth it.
02-05-2008, 09:49 PM
In agreement with even.
04-07-2008, 09:23 PM
You just need to BELIEVEEEEE in yourself brothas!
Be someBOOOODY ah said BE SOMEBOOOODY..
hehe, what can I say.
Be someBOOOODY ah said BE SOMEBOOOODY..
hehe, what can I say.