Has apies ever tried to get a girlfriend?
Is it possible?
Will NT girls accept an aspie?
As for my own situation, I am very childish in some situations, especially when sleeping (cuddly toys and fidling with sleeping quilt).
Will an NT ever accept that?
I can easily answer yes, you can, once the mutual attraction is established you will need to state a few facts.
If she is feeling emotionel she will need to express everything verbally and clearly with as much logic as possible.
She will also need to know if you need time alone to indulge in your specific interests and that it doesnt mean you dont love or need her.
and Im gonna add this because its the most important from my experience, if you have difficulty praising or complimenting you need to make an effort to express verbally every "nice" thought you have about her or the time spent together for example if you like her perfume,tell her.If you enjoyed her compagny during a film, say it out loud etc etc every "nice/confortable/cosy" thought needs to be said out loud so she knows your are enjoying her compagny ( women thrive on positive feedback) the more you express your appreciation the better it gets.
Will NT girls accept an aspie?
I would hope so.
Will an NT ever accept that(sleeping issues, etc)?
I would expect that if an NT loved you enough, they would accept you, and continue loving you regardless of said issues
I'll quote someone elses statement on the board when I saw it takes a special girl to embrace a relationship with a special man.
My boyfriend has numerous routines sleeping/eating/sport/counting steps that I participate in and by now actually accept as the "norm" many of the stranger habits like eating the skin off my feet or singing out loud at work/in the street/in shops etc were alot harder to accept because of the eccentric nature of them. Today he says he has finally met someone who functions with him instead of against him on a daily basis.
Embracing and fulling participating in his daily routine has made us closer, I know some NT's will think Im making life "too easy" for him doing this but Im taking it as though he was from a different culture ( say arab or maybe asian) and Im learning from him and adapting to him in every way I can.
We share a unique closeness up to a point when he and I sometimes become one in his mind, and for this I am very thankfull.
Good luck to all you special men out there
not sure how relevant this is as there is too much here for me to read but can we get a girlfriend?... id say yes!
being an aspie myself ive been told by most of my ex girlfriends that they have much preffered me to any of their ex-boyfriends as they found me adorable and my "traits" cute and entertaining...... however...... there have been a few that havent been able to deal with it though soooooo i suppose it depends on the indevidual just like any other NT relationship..... but i do think honesty is important from the start...
I have no personal dating experience, but I hear a lot of complaining from people around me :lol: , and based on that, I suspect at least some of your problems with your ex may have been the typical man-woman misunderstandings. NT guys do seem to complain a lot about their girlfriends & wives getting mad at them for no apparent reason, or asking them questions that are expected to be answered "honestly," meaning with a convincing tactful lie (the classic such question being, "Am I fat/Do I look fat?")...and many books have been written (& subsequent fortunes made) based on male-female differences ("Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus," etc.). So maybe AS didn't have much to do with the breakup.
I'm pretty sure that male AS are more extreme than most average men in this and a few other aspects. Average men has more problems understanding the subtle signs that women give, but AS men are completely lost when confronted with them.
There's a simple way do deal with this, though. Even before I realised I had AS, I made a deal with my girlfriend that she should always be explicit. I also taught her that when I say something that can be interpretted positively and negatively I usually mean the positive interpretation. Luckily my girlfriend has four brothers, which made it easier for her to do this.
Having said that, I've had my first relationship at the age of 19 and haven't been single for more than a few months ever since. My girlfriend and I are currently 5 years together.
The trick that did it for me, was the Internet. Get to know a girl via MSN or AIM and she won't spot most of your defects. She'll treat you like your average guy. If you then manage to portray an interesting personallity, she can fall in love with you before you even meet. If that happenes, unless you completely screw up, there's a great chance you become lovers when you actually do. It worked about three times in my case
Yes aspies can get a girlfriend (or boyfriend). I've been with my fiance for 4 years now (our dating anniversary was august 28) and been engaged for almost 4 (sometime in december was when he proposed, neither of us remembers what day). I also just broke up with my first girlfriend a week ago. I'd gone out with her a few months, and she was trying to break me and my fiance up in hopes I'd run off with her and her husband. Sorry, he was here first, and he's used to my little quirks and problems, and knows how to deal with me and take care of me.
Anyhoo, yes.
We've been all through this crap of religious hypocrites shoving their homophobia in everybody's face and pretending that gay-bashing is a sacred practice.
And it's not just gay people who find it offensive.
Those kinds of comments just do not belong here. We are all human, and none of us should pass judgment on another on behalf of deity. They can do it on their own, if they so choose.
I quoted badly above
I meant:
You're a lesbian? That's kinda cool. I just hope that you don't sleep with her because God intended women to be with men sexually. It says in the Bible that you're not supposed to have sex with someone of your own gender and I very much hope to see you at the Resurrection.
Those kinds of comments just do not belong here. We are all human, and none of us should pass judgment on another on behalf of deity. They can do it on their own, if they so choose.
There, that is better.
Ocampo, while I would never dare pass judgement on your sexual preferences I am getting rather tired of hearing about them.
Do you enjoy picking on 15 year old girl’s (Johanna2) Max? I find that quite offensive myself.
People all bring up their sexuality here, in non-offensive ways, all over the forum. Just by saying, my wife, my husband, my....whatever, you bring up your sexual preferences. It should be no different for Ocampo, Johanna, me or anyone else, to bring it up and discuss it in normal conversation.
It is offensive to think that because you are who you are, you are the way Deity made you, you may not go to Heaven (or the like.) It is hurtful and causes upset.
No one was picking on anyone here, just people responding to things that are hurtful to them.
I can post this before Max responds to my question, I'd just like to point out how tranquil it was on AFF until a queue suddenly formed at this thread. It is unfortunate that people find it so difficult to get on with each other.
I can post this before Max responds to my question, I'd just like to point out how tranquil it was on AFF until a queue suddenly formed at this thread. It is unfortunate that people find it so difficult to get on with each other.
They formed here, Marcia, because the post was at the top, they read it, and they were offended by that statement. Calm is not always right.
We've been through all this before, you don't listen to what I say, so I'll save my breath this time.
http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=13980
Let's stop the discussion.
Please read the thread mentioned above.
I think it covers most of what could be discussed here.
Lets get this thread re-railed.
Good job Hyke!
I think Aspies can get a girlfriend, or a wife, or a husband, or a.....whatever!
I married an Aspie, I am LIVING PROOF it happens!
Of course, I had no idea my husband was an Aspie when I started to date him. If I was uneducated about what it meant to be an Aspie, it may have concerned me a little, until I became educated about it.
I think that is the important part here, the education part, that we all need to do as part of the activism. We need to educate people so there will not be second thoughts about whether or not to date an Aspie, just whether or not you want to date the PERSON!
By the way - it's our 3 year anniversary today.
Raises a glass of bubbly mineral water (because that is what I have at my desk) to you and your hubby, and MANY MANY more years ahead!