Aspies For Freedom

I hate any kind of interrogation.  With me it's like:  "What am I supposed to say to that?"  What is the socially intuitive response?  Why don't I know it?

I want to be honest but cannot be, anymore.  I was taught to be honest when I was young and then taught to reciprocate "correctly" to people when I got older.  I'm sorry but honesty and social reciprocation are very different things.

And by the way I wouldn't admit your diagnosis to anyone there, that is just "giving them what they want."

Everyone always just thought I was shy or anxious in the places where I worked.  If pressed for an answer, that should be all you have to give them.  As far as admitting diagnosis, don't "give in" to that.

I'm sure you might find that amusing, especially if it was me walking  around with the zip undone.  

I would never do such a thing on purpose, of course.  I am the most buttoned-up, solitary, contained individual you'll ever find.

I have had some of these things occur before, but most often from girls who I wasn't attracted to (for lack of a better word.)

Anyhow, just last week I had some bubbly schoolgirls give me a compliment that I am quite sure was directed at me (I was the only one in the parking lot so far as I could tell).

But seeing as though it was young schoolgirls giving me the compliment, I don't know what it's supposed to mean, or how I'm supposed to take it.

They weren't mocking, I am certain of that.

Perhaps schoolgirl is outmoded in this case: They just happened to be around 13/14 or so, and they were in street clothes.

Batman55 Wrote:

I'm sure you might find that amusing, especially if it was me walking  around with the zip undone.  

Not in the least actuallly - I want to tell the person about their mishap, but that puts me in the position of having to intiate a conversation, which isn't always easy.

Why is it you miss so many of my "social reciprocation" cues that I very obviously have, in between the lines?

Do you have trouble reading between the lines?

That was a cue for you to respond to the joke, in a positive manner.  I am sure in an NT board, I would have had my reciprocation.

You on the other hand just took everything literally.

Oddly, I am the same way.  I hate to see anyone being made fun of, unless of course it is someone who could care less or even "likes it" because it gives them an excuse to argue, etc.

I do also feel "sorry" for items, quite frequently actually.  I have a strange attachment to objects, I have noticed.

I used to think that this would be common among someone raised by Depression-era parents.  My mother and her brother (my uncle) were raised by said parents, and they are very "thrifty," etc.  But the unusual manner and degree to which they do it, makes me wonder if this mindset is correlated with Asperger's.

I suspect both of them have Asperger's (my mother much less so than my uncle) and wonder if such a mindset as above (attachment to objects) contributes to their excessive "hanging onto everything until it has gone bad."  My mother always keeps everything in the refrigerator until nothing can fit in the fridge, anymore.  To take something out of the fridge you have to manuever items like a puzzle, and then replace them in a certain order.

My uncle, despite not being an pack rat, likes to save everything.  He has been known for saving the wrapping paper from Christmas presents he has received, and also hanging onto empty Entenmann's (pastry company) boxes and offering them to people.  He is very odd, despite the fact that he is not even remotely aware that anyone would think him odd.

I am grateful I was given the gift of self-awareness, otherwise I might have gone down my uncle's route and never had much experience with the opposite sex (he is 75 now and has, age appropriately, about 1000% less experience than his same age counterparts; in fact he is probably still a virgin).  He also never moved from his childhood home.  Not that that's particularly uncommon, etc, but it's not something I want.

Thankfully I can transcend these things with my self-awareness, whereas he was doomed from the beginning, since he didn't seem to notice anyone thinking he was odd.

But did you read my comments about the unusual manner in which they follow their "thrifty" rules, esp. seeing as it seems to be inflexible (inflexible mannerisms, routines, are part of the spectrum AFAIK)..

I am quite certain both my mother and my uncle have a mild AS, this is an important thing for me as I am trying to figure out the potential sources of my AS.  Thus I would like commentary on the things I mention "which could be an AS thing" on their part.  I am sure some of these things could be NT things, but note I did say unusual manner in which they follow certain "rules"...

Comments?

Question, how do your sinus problems manifest themselves?

I have had constant pressure in my head for over 2 years now, I am wondering if it's a sinus thing or something else.  It's so aggravating and doctors don't know what to do about it.

I don't have any problems with "wheat foods," but I have always had some rather pronounced constipation.  I have always needed a pretty decent amount of fiber in my diet, for that reason.

The other thing I had which "has been said" to be associated with autistic spectrum disorders was asthma, I had that pretty badly as a kid, but when I developed a bit more stamina in my teenage years it seemed to disappear.  I am quite thankful, as sports have been good for me.

I've played basketball at a local park the last two summers.. don't tell me that makes me NT though, as I had to be 23 years old before I could finally "get the courage up" to play with strangers... and even then I prefer to have my "safe person" around, which is my friend who introduced me to team ball.. without him I feel "out of place."

Inflexible habits, or repetitive patterns of behavior, is the way I should have described it.

I still don't know anyone besides my uncle who saves the wrapping paper from Christmas presents and reuses it (and feels bad if it goes to waste, etc.) and I still don't know anyone besides my uncle who saves empty pastry boxes and offers them to people, as if they were interested in such things.

I think my uncle's "great interest" is in saving money, as one with AS is likely to have a great interest which goes to the exclusion of other things, it is true in his case as he seems to treasure finding a decent priced can of soup more than activities which would expand his life experience.  He has an unusual attachment to objects.

Well, despite having no social anxiety (he would have to be an Aspie with low self-awareness, if he is AS as I suspect), he has a restricted social life and very few close friends except for people in extended family.  I believe he only has one friend who is not connected to family, in some way.  Although he is quite chatty, and can talk to anyone.

The attachment to objects?  Well he seems to enjoy the mundane (a decent priced can of soup, a fresh loaf of bread from a nearby Deli) almost as much as the company of people.  These mundane things are like a hobby for him.  I imagine it is this ability of his (enjoying the mundane) that allows him to live alone.  Indeed, he has never had a longterm partner and has never married.  He certainly talks about mundane objects as if they were special.  It seems like he has this "great interest" of saving money in place of things that most NTs would find important (finding a partner or getting a genuine hobby, of which he has none.)

He does the same things all the time, says the same things all the time, has absolutely no idea that someone might not be interested in what he has to say (he'll talk for 5 minutes straight on a particular thing that is interesting to him).  He gives you tons of needless details (he can remember what kind of soup was served at a charity dinner that happened 30 years ago, etc, and tells you about it) and has limited facial expression, it seems he only has a neutral face and a happy face, nothing in between.  He has a monotonous voice that seems robotic.  If you mention a certain "buzz word," for example, new construction work in his town, he'll repeat the same things he said to you before on the topic, as if he was reading a prepared list.

I could go on and on about him.  You might say "a lot of people are like that" well he is 75 years old now, at this point it will be tough to separate Aspie mannerisms from eccentric/Quirky NT mannerisms.  I believe he is AS, for I have postulated the strongest AS comes from my mother's side, with a milder form of it on my father's side.

This isn't that unusual in Switzerland, and even in Europe it is not unheard of at least in people over 40 or so. At least not in my extended family. What's even more common is people recycling whole persents (still wrapped) although I suspect that happens everywhere.
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Well, I say it's an attachment to objects because in his case, he seems to genuinely "enjoy" saving certain things, and he seems to have this "interest" in place of things most people would find a lot more important.

I can give you an example to illustrate what I'm trying to say.  For instance you may have an Aspie math genius who prefers to work on his own mathematical equations than work on expanding his social life; indeed you might then say "he enjoys the company of numbers" the same as, or more than, the company of people.

I think my uncle is an example of one who enjoys the company of objects, that is his "extra" interest in mundane things, which is said to be common among Aspies.

This might explain why some Aspies seem more drawn to objects than to people, we don't know how to cope with disappointment... people are an unpredictable abstract area, and those NTs with more advanced social skills are often manipulative in subtle ways that Aspies can't pinpoint as easily as most others can.

I seem to "expect" that people should accept me or not make sarcastic jokes about my shortcomings, well these expectations of mine aren't always correct, and that bothers me intensely.

I don't know why thinly veiled insults pass as "mere sarcastic humor" in the NT world, to me it hurts, and does not count as mere sarcasm.  To me it counts as evidence that the sarcastic person enjoys aggravating people with sensitivity.

No wonder "objects" such as this computer I am using, are my best  friends.  I can depend on them.  I know what is going to happen, and I can control it.

I feel a bit guilty for bringing this off topic, so: (Me sleeping through the last Rocky film, with cat on top of me)

Nice picture, but I can't really see your face at all in that.