Aspies For Freedom

I wasn't talking about "your" schoolgirls but about the advice given for general situations.

Because other people do make fun of those things, and I can't bear the thought of people making fun or spurning someone. That is one of the few areas where I feel "too much" empathy, or rather where I often assume people 'suffer' when they don't necessarily do so.

For example at markets etc. in my mid teens I would always feel obliged to buy something from the one stall nobody is visiting, because it made me feel guilty of sorts and I would expect the person at the stall to be really upset that nobody wants to buy anything from them.
(Of course it's not like nobody goes to that stall when I'm not there/not looking, but still)

It's not just with people though. If there are 2 products that are similar in a shop, and one looks like what people would laugh at and say that it's old-fashioned or a bit rubbish, I will feel sorry for the item in a way and sometimes end up buying it because of that. Or if not, I feel guilty for not having done so.

I really do not like that "let someone else deal with it" attitude. I'm the kind of person who can't stand to sit still while something "isn't right".

It is dishonest to stick your head in the sand, although yes I must admit there are times I do this too, for example not speaking up on the bus (as long as I know *I* will be on time) when I know it's going the wrong way. I know intellectually that other people need the bus to be on time to get to work on time, so I feel a bit guilty for not speaking up.

Not the zipper as such (although it is one of those things that niggles, like pictures not being straight). More the potential of other people mocking the person walking around unawares. The anticipation of such behaviour makes me very uneasy.

I am sure they do, in fact the impression I have is that it's "not the done thing" but for me it's a case of, "I think this person would prefer a stranger pointing it out discretely, instead of walking around in 'important' places and around people important to them - work, someone he or she is trying to chat up etc. - with their zip open."

With the bus it's mostly a case of being stuck in one train of thought (either just gazing out the window, or thinking about something intensely, or listening to an audio story or just "not thinking at all and just being"), and even though the awareness of something not being right is tugging at my mind, it's not always enough to snap me out of it and allow me to speak up. (There's also the matter of it not always being certain, and I hate having to initiate conversations where I can't anticipate the response - if I know I'm right then it's easier)

However if I am aware that the bus is already a bit late, and am therefore already paying attention to this, my mind is prepared to do something. Similarly, if I vaguely notice it may be going in the wrong direction, and then see that we're already late (thus the detour of 5 minutes would make me miss my connection), that is usually enough to snap me out of whatever I'm locked into.

Thanks, I just wish I could register and act more easily when someone actually needs me to do something.

Yes exactly. If I "fall in love" with a new product sometimes I can easily replace old ones but if it's a case of just replacing it because it is wearing out I feel massively guilty. I even apologise to furniture and phones etc. if I as much as tap them by accident.

*Sigh* but if it's not that uncommon, does that mean that the products left behind in the store are actually the ones that don't need my compassion?

Me too, I do have to remind myself that "the supermarket" isn't going to go and cry its eyes out if I buy something that doesn't run out today, and end up eating it today anyway. But I am very conscientious and unless there is evidence a food may be too close to spoiling, if I'm going to be eating it today there is no reason to buy something that could last for another week.

Oops... I used to *not* buy nearly out of date stuff when the local supermarket was having problems with their chillers, because I'd bought so many things that were off I became wary. They work great now though

Cheese would do, at a push

That is more than likely true, if you're brought up to be "thrify" you're likely to be more aware of those things.

My problem is usually that I don't check the dates properly and end up buying out of date stuff though, I only "feel sorry" if it is marked as being near the sell-by date.

There were these popcorn packs in the local shop that were out of date and I made the same msitake at least 3 times.

LOL and I'm trying to stay off cheese! Boo!

That is a point I have to keep reminding myself of, because the person might not care or they might take offense at my pointing these things out.

Strangely enough it isn't the person's feelings/reaction I am concerned with as such, it's more the fact that the act of teasing and mocking, the vibe it gives off, makes me uneasy. I feel the same way when someone talks badly about someone else behind their back, where the other person isn't aware of it at all.

There was this time when a woman at work (whom I had thought of as not being NT before because she had weird ways of inverting the PC mouse, I had thought it was due to different wiring, but it was because she learned to use a mouse by playing a game that was easier with the mouse turned around!) commented that "I met C.'s Mum recently and she's so normal"

(C. has a very loud laugh and some speech problems but is socially 'normal' and friends with a lot of people at work)

I had to ask her what she meant because I couldn't believe she just said that! And then she admitted it was nasty of her to have said this - although she then concluded with "I bet you're worried about what we say about you behind your back now".

Hm... interesting reasoning!

For me dairy mainly gives me hearburn, it's wheat that makes my insides grovel and bubble and suchlike. Erm.... But yeah I have not managed to completely avoid them so far (I can't swallow meat, and most meat replacements have wheat in them) but am already feeling a big difference. Especially gut-wise.

My sinus problems definitely feed off acid reflux and vice-versa. Cutting out dairy has made an enormous difference, although hormones also play a role in my allergy stuff.

What meds have you tried? I usually have a pack of proton pump inhibitors ready, a few days on those sorts it out if it does come back.

That is understandable, more vegetable matter etc. can do that to you.

It is odd that you gained weight but perhaps you were taking in more necessary nutrients because when you're on a special diet you pay more attention to these things?

Not related as such but various stomach and intestinal stuff is associated with autism in general, in many people.