All right, at the taekwondo school that I work at, I often have to keep an eye on my instructors children. He sometimes has to take them to work, and I usually keep them from intefering with classes.
They're great kids, one is 5 and the other is 3. I was really happy when the three year old one (a girl) finally learned my name. Somehow she got the idea that my name was George (its not) and we had a very hard time getting that concept out of her head.
Anyway when my instructors wife was giving me a ride home with the kids in the car, the three year old says "Matt is scary." When the mother inquires why she answered "Because he doesn't talk". I didn't realize my Asperger's was so obvious as to be picked up by a three year old. Very embarressing. :oops:
Wow.
Can children pick up on difference this early?
Better to be scary because you don't talk than to be scary because you talk too much, or any of the random things that three-year-olds do tend to be scared of.
If you talked would your Asperger's still be pick-up-able?
well the Aspergers is why I don't talk much. I rarely have any idea of whats expected of me to be said, or how to go about having a conversation. So I keep my mouth shut.
I dont understand why its a problem if a child notices. I think lots of people notice, but lots dont say (about me, but probably others too).
People used to refer to me as "that boy who doesn't smile"
Yeah, I get that a lot, except replace boy with girl. People recently commented on how much I was smiling at my wedding, and that it was nice to see. I just don't like faking it, and don't see the point. I know "most" people find it a friendly gesture, but I absolutely hate it when people fake smile at me.
"Grumpy"
"Happy" (sarcastically)
"Mr smiles" (again sarcasm)
Among a myriad of other things my own family calls me.
I find that young children are often the first to pick up my daughter's asperger's. When she was is preschool they would look at me and indelicately say "What's wrong with her?". But this is the age where if directed right by an adult they can also learn to be more open-minded to people's differences.
this is the age where if directed right by an adult they can also learn to be more open-minded to people's differences.
Yes, I agree. The mother could have said something like "Just because some people don't talk as much as others, there's no reason to be scared of them."
I sometimes have to wonder, when people point out things like "you don't talk much" and "smile!", they are detecting something at a lower level (subconsciously, even), and cannot place it, so round it off to something more relatable.
I say this because you can look around at others in the room, and even the accusor, and see that they don't smile 24/7 either.
OFFTOPIC -
Hey Raeth LTNS! :smile:
It seems like most people have an instinctive fear or maybe dislike for people like us. Even young children seem to able to pick us out as different.
Haha, that's pretty funny. Where'd that come from?
Ahh out of the mouths of babes. I dunno, you can't really blame her cause she's too young to understand. I suppose if she find your silence intimidating, you can make a game of it. Like say, "Well if you need anything and I'm in a quiet mood, you can talk to my invisible friend.." and make up a invisible friend.
I don't know if they're too old at 3 to belive in imaginary friends, but hey if you do a good job and convincing her that the friend will leave her messages for you, it could work.
You could always say your friend is George, and that's where the name confusion came from.
What children sense, maybe, is your discomfort with them. If you bite your tounge out of fear of not knowing what to say, they can tell you are not at ease. The cool thing about kids is that they love wierd. Don't worry about saying the wrong things to them. Share what interests you. They'll eat it up. Even if they think it's wierd.