Aspies For Freedom

well,

#1)  I know people often talk to my three year old.  Perhaps because he is young and cute.  Maybe the three year old expects people to always talk to her because that is what people do now but perhaps her expectations will change when she's older

#2 [and I think this is more likely])  I don't think she thinks you are scary.  Being an NT in a foreign country, I get anxious in many situations such as at a restaurant because I can't read the menu well and it always changes.

I avoid a lot of small talk because it is embarrassing and difficult doing it in another language but still I had to talk to at least one waitress there.  I know I may need to ask someone questions - so I started talking to one waitress about the food.  Now I know if I have to really get an answer on something, that I will go back to that same waitress to ask something.  I guess just being able to talk to that person about something gives me confidence that I'll be able to talk to them again if I need to.  I always feel a little insecure when I am in a situation and haven't spoken to anyone because really some people aren't patient at all with my bad pronunciation or non-understanding of the local social etiquette while others are more so and I feel like I should find someone who is.

I can tell you times when I can see the worry or maybe even fear in people's face when I have to interact with them and they are not used to foreigners.  Usually after they see I can speak a little they "unfreeze".  Still I can often see people "frozen" momentarily I think just because they don't know how they are going to communicate with me.

I don't wonder if the little girls had similar feelings.  I mean if you were watching her, then she'd need to ask you for help if she needed something -- even something simple like dropping a toy where she can't get it.  So maybe on some level, she just wants to know the "communication lines are open" in case they are needed.  This is just my guess based on my experience.  I have anxiety over that type of  situation and I percieve others here do it.  Being in a different country may not be exactly the same as your situation, but I wonder if they aren't at least even a little bit similar.

What do you think of the following?  

-----------------------------------------small talk---------------------------------
The roots of small talk are buried in one basic truth about Man as a species: Homo Sapiens is extremely dangerous. He is by far the most dangerous and unpredictable animal on the planet. He kills more people than any other species on earth—in fact, most others put together. Why is this relevant? Because when this lumbering biped meets others of his kind, he must determine how they are disposed toward him. Do they want to punch his ticket? Do they want to mate with him? Do they want to take his stuff? And since Homo Sapiens is so very unpredictable, he must keep on determining with great regularity the disposition of all those around him from the time he is born until the time he expires—or misjudges the disposition of another Homo Sapiens and gets his ticket punched and his stuff taken.

Homo Sapiens has become much more subtle about his hunting and gathering and ticket punching than he ever was before. And in the modern world it is judged unseemly for two polite people to circle each other snarling and waving rocks around until they establish that they do in fact still like each other. Instead, modern Man supplants this display with a complex ritual, a ritual called “small talk.”
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By the way,  I wish I were in Hawaii (for the weather).  Actually I was rather shocked by how much people say hello to complete strangers there.  I actually stopped people to ask them "did you know that person" who they had just said hello to [which is rather odd of me to do] but I really was curious because it almost seemed like everyone knew everyone else (except for the tourists).

it's from another site on aspergers

I stumbled upon it doing a search for "Bram Cohen aspergers".

It's under articles once you get to the site.

Yeah, I a few days ago she insisted that I read Achtung Panzer! to her. :lol: