I'm a kid of fourteen, and until yesterday I thought I was alone in my views on the cruel psychiatric treatment given to the autistic. Last year, my mom sent me for testing. I don't know when it started, but it took me a while to realize what they were doing was evil. They figured out that I was smart enough to skip eighth grade (Mother said I was too immature, so I didn't) and also that I had asbergers. Now I can see though, it was no coincidence where they found out I was autistic. My mom had initial suspicions. So my mom took me to this therapist, but I just went berserk. I would have condemable images in my head of my hands around her throat, all caused by the stress of therapy. Eventually I got her to stop, but she's still holds the predjudiced beliefs of autism as an illness. Can someone give me tips on how to talk to her about the wrongs of treating autism as an illness?
Hi daisuke. It sounds like you have had a horrible experience.
Could you ask your mother to read some of the site here, especially the parents forum section, and she might see some of the great positive attitudes that people have here.
Also, try giving your mother this link:
http://www.autism-hub.co.uk
Autism Hub is a collection of blogs written by both parents and autistics. The parents have a very positive and accepting view.
My mom seems to be supportive with CAN and DAN, since I always see magazines and books on curing autism, in her bookshelf. Sometimes she gives me autism articles that are written by anti-curebies. But other times she tells me that i should try acting normal. Plus she always complains about my dad being isolated from the rest of the world. It seems that she doesn't really know who's side she is on. :? I really hope she is not just denying the fact that she is a curebie (she knows I'm against the cure), and trying to sneak a treatment on me. i doubt that she is aware that many famous artists, scientists, and musicians are autistic.
when i was growing up, autism or aspergers seemed to be quite unheard of, and they often had no idea what was wrong with me thinks im just a spoilt brat throwing tantrums.
for that i got caned alot. and i still didnt know why i was punished. it was only later that i found out about as/autism and identify with it that i informed them. they just shrug their shoulders and claimed that in that case i must have "recovered" since i do not do all the "strange things" at home anymore.
my mom is in denial because she believed i have "recovered" whilst my dad thinks I'm "special" and associates aspies = superior intellect and went a little annoying after that. like i have to perform my "talents" just so to amuse him.
Parents!
I have kind of a similar story. Nothing much was known when I was growing up either, and the most I have ever been diagnosed with (at age six) was "Some Autistic Traits" -- whatever the hell that's supposed to mean. It was a school counsellor who finally mentioned the word Asperger's to me (and I was sixteen at the time.)
Is it in a parent's nature to try to make their children as "normal" as possible. I think it may also be an extension of a mother or father's initial efforts to "tame" his or her (in my parents' case, her) spouse.
Daisuke, I think that sites like this one are very good for educating people. Also, there are a lot of books out there which are written by Aspies and autistics -- many of whom are very eloquent in their expressions -- and a lot of these are quite balanced, even positive in their representations.
Unfortunately, overcoming the prejudices of your parents has never been easy, and will most likely take a very long time. Because that is what parents are like. I suggest that you turn her to some books (Not ones by doctors, but by autistics themselves.)
My parents never understood where my problems were coming from either. They knew I was intelligent, but their major reason for covertly rejucting me, I think, was because they thought I was purposely not using my brain. (Not true. I just spoke oddly when I tried to communicated verbally, was (am) easily confused by directions, couldn't handle change, etc. And unfortunately, now that I have tried to tell them that I am most likely an Aspie, they are trying to minimize everything. "Oh, everyone has problems like that sometimes." It's the family pattern (with my family), to celebrate differences in others, but deny any in themselves.
I think some of my teachers had suspicions, and some even encouraged my parents to send me to a therapist, but I never had a full evaluation. I don't know how far it would have gone, though, because not nearly as much was known about child development and similar areas when I was a child. The one partial eval I had was when I was five, and my mother says she wasn't satisfied with it. (Maybe they began to point to some possible problems and she didn't want to acknowledge them? Hmm...)
Hi everyone,
I have read through the postings and thought you might like a parents view on having a child on the spectrum. I have to say though that my view is different to what a lot of you have experienced, and I am so sorry that you haven't had the understanding and support you needed.
I have always suspected my son Josef had autistic traits, and for a while I thought maybe I was worrying too much untill I went to college to gain a qualification in early years.
Around this time I was becoming aware of the way Josef's teachers were treating him. It was a case of 'naughty child'. He spent alot of time sat by the teachers feet when it was story time. Which I now know was because he hated the other children being so close to him invading his space. On school plays, he again was usually pulled from the stage and made to sit by the teacher, and now I know this was because a hall full of parents and children, scared the life out of him. In the end I stopped Josef taking part in school plays, much to the disgust of the teachers, but I did not want to put him through something that upset him and made him anxious.
To cut a long story short, I was called into the head's office and basically told that Josef needed behavioural support. I realised I needed to quickly get my suspisions recognised and help him, or he was going to have the label as being the 'naughty child'.
As I mentioned I was at college during this time and I got to attend a placement at a developmental center, linked with doctors and pysiotherapists and occupational therapists. It was working with children with all different special needs. There I worked alongside a child with severe autism, aswell as a child with aspergers. It was whilst I did this that I recognised Josefs behaviour to be very much like the child with Aspergers. I also talked alot to the staff who were lovely and helpful, and they even let my son come in with me when I was setting up a sensory room for the children where they could have quiet time and space.
Again I will skip on because otherwise this posting will seem endless.
I went and spoke to my doctor who said I needed to see the school doctor, I had to get the school to set that up and they didn't want to until I said my own doctor strongly recommends this. I saw her, she told me about the Aspergers, I agreed with her and I went straight to the school and told them. I felt like I had won the first hurdle in helping Josef. However the school doctor told me there was no diagnostic test in wales at the moment, which I didn't really mind, because I didn't need him to go through a barrage of testing to make him feel like something was wrong with him, because during all this, Josef was non the wiser.
Since then, I have not been in denial about my son, I have read lots about Aspergers, but from the view point of the person who has it. I did not feel the need to learn all the facts and figures and the cause etc etc, I just needed to learn how people with Aspergers saw the world, people and how I could learn to best understand my sons needs.
Josef is never made to feel any different, he is 8 now and knows he has Aspergers and its been two years since my initial fight with the school. I have since changed schools because the large class size and the noise was too much for him. He now goes to a small village school where the teachers are meeting his needs in a fantastic way.
Now though I have come up with a dilemma. Whilst the school is terrific as far as the school work goes and the teachers understanding who Josef is and what he is about. I am now battling the social side of things for Josef, kids exclude him etc etc, I don't quite know how I am going to deal with that yet, but I will be speaking to the teachers on Monday when Josef goes back to school after the half term break.
I am so sorry that this posting is so long, but I just wanted to say that all parents don't want to put their child through testing which will upset them, some parents do want to understand Aspergers and Autism better to know how to help their child, and that some parents will fight to make their childs life a little bit easier.
I adore Josef, I never want to change him, it is through him that I have learn't that I see and feel things the same as him, maybe thats why I understand him so well. As for the rest of my family, my daughter who has dyslexia is the only one who can calm him from his rages, my other daughter will help him when he can't multi task and forgets what he was doing. His grandparents love and understand him for who he is. We do worry about him, but the concern is with other people not understanding.
on a final note, his teacher once wrote in his school report. "Josef is just Josef" and my answer to that Mr's Jones, is your so right. and we wouldn't want him to be any other way.
As for the parents who can't seem to understand, Fear is stopping them, they hear a word that means a child is simply different to others, and because a doctor or psychiatrist says it, they see it as an infliction... maybe if they didn't fear the word so much they would see it as a bonus.
Jane
^ is a GOOD mother.
might i thank you on his behalf for taking that action,and taking him out of a large school?
and dont worry about post length.
i wish my mother would have let me pull out of school plays.i have to appear in court in a few weeks,and im terrified about that.(im a witness,not the defendant....)
and as to the kids excluding him?
find and contact your local homeschooling group,im sure he will get along with most of the kids there( i absolutely endorse home education.produces some wonderful NT's!)