Hello,
I'm a 24-year old and i suspect myself to be an aspie. It is fairly new to me, i just came across the page on Wikipedia. And a lot of the symptoms apply to me. I've always known I was different from other people, especially on a social level.
I've taken 2 of the tests, the geek test was 21, and the aspie-quiz was 132.
But I had a hard time answering some of the the questions, maybe because my language in everyday life isn't English, but maybe also because I *want* to be diagnosed with something, so I finally have an idea why I'm different. I might have unwillingly answered questions the wrong way because I might not have been sure of my real answer, but quite sure of the answer that would have applied to an aspie, so I ticked that one, unwillingly. I just now realized that this might have happened.
And with a lot of the test questions i thought:
"This depends on the situation"
It's hard to explain for me in English, i hope it makes some sense.
It makes perfect sense. These tests are very vulnerable to subconscious manipulation.
I don't really feel like going to a doctor just yet. I only think I might have asperger's. I just try and find out by using this forum and chat rooms then =)
pro's
- As a child I always had difficulties making friends. It was of no interest to me, and still isn't. I had friends though, but at no point in my life there were more than 2.
- When I was adolescent, I had interest for a love-relation, but I was way too shy in front of the other sex. Interest in love has faded to nothing.
- I hate smalltalk, it is waste of time. I never say anything unless I got something to say what I think is useful, unless I take a substance as amphetamines. But those I only take on the rare occasion that I go out. I love electronic music, and when I go out, only a few times a year, I take amphetamines to erase my social barrier for a while. It makes me feel more comfortable in crowds. But conversation in a club is almost impossible for me, because I seem to have the cocktail-party effect. When somebody talks to me and there is background noise, I can't hear a word that person is saying, even when concentrating extremely. I've tried the amphetamines in regular situations as well, and they greatly boosted my social skills, I almost felt normal, but they become really addictive soon. The side effects were too severe, so I quit. Except for when I go out.
- I used very formal language as a child
- When I focus on something that I think is intresting, I want to know everything about it and start to look up things obsessively
- My fine motor skills are bad. I remember my parents wanted to ask professional help for that when I was a child, but that never happened.
- I experience anxiety when meeting new people, and I get very anxious if attention of new people is directed to me. For example: when I get introduced to a group of co-workers at my new job.
- I *hate* phones. I only pick up my phone when I know the number that is calling. I do not answer private calls or numbers I do not know. And for some reason, when my phone rings, I always get a short, very intense feeling of anxiety.
- I have some routines that, if broken, get me anxious. for example: For *that* coffee, I need *that* cup.
- I had an imaginary friend as child with whom I played board games like Monopoly. I referred to him as 'he'.
- I think I'm more intelligent than average.
- I can get very upset from the lack of logical reasoning of some people.
- In school, I had bad grades because I refused to study things I was not interested in.
- In weekends, when one of my few friends calls me to go snookering or something, I make up lies just to be able to spend time alone. This happens quite often.
- I'm a spelling freak. I always read my texts 3 times over to see if I didn't make any mistakes. If there is only the slightest mistake found after I posted or sent a text, I can get very upset. It has happened that I sent a second e-mail to correct a word. When I am not 100% sure of the spelling of a word, I always look it up. I refuse to use spelling checkers, I always want to do it myself.
- I use my left and right hands for various things. for example: I write with my right hand, but if I throw something it's with my left hand.
- I very easily take over slang, expressions or dialects, unwillingly. Maybe some form of echolalia? This annoys me, and I think it is annoying to other people too. I can't help it.
cons
- I do not think I have major difficulties reading between the lines or reading body language, allthough I prefer if someone says it directly. Most of the time I can see there is something, but I don't know how to react to it.
I'm sure there are more cons, but I can't think of any now. I'll think about it. Maybe I am unwillingly not remembering them.
AFF and the members here can't really tell you if you have AS or diagnose you on forums, so nobody will be able to give you an answer. To diagnose is a major process actually and only professionals who are trained in the field of autism will be able to help you.
Well, I thought I'm in the right topic for trying to do some self-diagnosis, and I would like to share my experiences with people that are maybe officially diagnosed, and look for similarities...
Just because you don't have any major difficulties with body language, that doesn't rule out a diagnosis.
No, but I thought the inability to 'read between the lines' or recognize body-language was like a major, maybe 'needed' trait for people with AS.
Why not advise taking illegal drugs? Whatever helps is good, whatever harms is bad, right?
Also, as he's taking amphetamines anyway, I simply recommend a similar drug with a nicer feeling.
Also, it needs to be borne in mind that we're not 'frozen in time', like some practitioners believe. Some practitioners seem to think that unless an adolescent or adult continues to present in the same way they would have as a young child, then that means the adolescent/adult can't be on the spectrum. It's a contradiction, because it's also known as a developmental disability, or developmental delay. But lots of practitioners overlook this, and seem to believe that we don't or won't develop as we grow older, we won't learn, we won't overcome difficulties or develop compensating behaviours, and if we do, then that means we weren't or aren't on the spectrum. That's a nonsense. And it's annoying.
Well put!
Seriously, I think I learned in my 20s and 30s how to do social interaction things that most people learn much earlier. There are things I'm still bad at, like not getting jokes or irony, not recognizing faces and facial expressions and body language, but they don't cause me much difficulty anymore and I think this is because I've amassed a whole array of compensatory behaviors. Plus, I'm in a profession where eccentricity is tolerated for the most part, and that helps. I don't have to put much effort into faking a persona to get along.
Mitsu, I wrote that you sound a lot like me. I use Ecstasy, preferably pure MDMA, when around friends and electronic music. It makes for a lovely time.
When I was in adolescence I've experimented with just about every illegal substance that was available, and I wouldn't recommend any of them to use. Especially with amphetamine-like substances as MDMA. After my first MDMA experience I felt like there was something permanently changed in my head. Amphetamines and MDMA also deplete the neurotransmitters in the brain that are responsible for good feeling.
So it's not for me, because I always had a bit of a hard time feeling good with myself. On the moment itself it's great, but you get punched back twice as hard in the end. I now do it once every 3 or 4 months. I guess it's different for everyone.
Oh and I found another con.
- I'm not leading a very organized life, I do not plan much and I'm very sloppy as well.
What I do have on the other hand is when I have an appointment I will always aim to be exact on time. Not 2 minutes early, not 2 minutes late. I get very anxious when I'm late due to elements that are beyond my control.
Thanks for the reactions everyone. It helped me. I think I'm going to consult a doctor after all.
Oh, that's a shame about the drugs not working.
Amy, that's just rubbish. People can process advice any way they choose. And I certainly don't advocate any drugs or behaviour without making mention of unforeseen pitfalls. That would be stupid, and you can see that I'm clearly not stupid.
If someone is taking amphetamines and listening to electronic music and not feeling ideal around people, it would be negligent (and in my opinion barbarically cruel) not to mention E. The side effects we knew he could handle.
Didn't know about the legal guidelines. I'll couch future drug references in personal anecdotes.
Just thought of adding; psychologically it is quite hard dealing with a dx because if it is official, there is no way of reversing. So sometimes I wished I was just self dx'd, so maybe that also affects how I feel. :?
But I don't think I would have been able to self dx, because I didn't know about AS......
True. Maybe I am in denial :shock:
My paper says...
Diagnosis: ICD-10 F84.5
It makes me feel like a number not a female
or christmas decoration...