Aspies For Freedom

Hi,
I'm 24 years old and I'm wondering if I have Asperger's syndrome. I was suspecting about autism and I asked this on other forums. Someone said I may have Asperger's syndrome. So I read a lot about it on websites and had some tests. I'm 99% sure I have Asperger's syndrome because it describes me so well but I'll write here about me just to be sure. Please don't tell me to go to a doctor because I'm don't want to talk to anyone about this and it won't make a big difference anyway. My native language is not English and this will be a long post so I'll appreciate it if you can read it all and tell me your opinion.

First of all I'm very antisocial and I was much more antisocial when I was a kid. Until I went to school it was very hard for me to go even 1 meter outside of the house. Until I was like 11-12 years old it was also very hard for me to talk to people other than my relatives. Actually I still don't like talking to strangers although I act like an actor so they don't notice it

I have problems with my speech. I can't spell the "r" letter(I use v instead) and my voice is thin most of the time(although it's perfectly normal sometimes). I mean even if I use words without "r" letter sometimes other people turn their head to look at me.

When I'm outside I feel like my body movements are normal but if a camera records me and I watch it I see that sometimes it's not normal. And other people notice it too. I'm also left handed.

I'm smarter than most people. I know this sounds arrogant but look at other things I wrote about myself. None of them are nice. If I was arrogant I wouldn't write them. I don't calculate like computer(like some autistics do in movies) but I have many chess trophies and I'm the best chess player in my city. Most people I know think I'm very smart even some of my enemies. I'm also going to university(chemistry) which is in the city I live in right now although my grades are not good because I hate lessons.

6-7 years ago I was seeing a child psychiatrist. My parents gave me an unimportant excuse for that but I know that was not the reason. They also made me some tests like 10 years ago. I don't remember exactly but I saw something like print of my brainwaves on paper(they said it was not normal) and in one test I lied about half an hour in something(like a thin bed in a long machine).

When I read the things I wrote it seems like I'm exaggerating everything. If we met I would try to act normal and you wouldn't notice anything but I'm not like that all the time. This means it's not physical and as far as I know Asperger's syndrome is not physical also. Here are some tests results I had online:

http://www.thegeeksyndrome.com
Result:30 (9 out of 10 people with aspergers who take the quiz get a score of 25 or higher.)

http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html
Result:40 (Eighty percent of those diagnosed with autism or a related disorder scored 32 or higher.)

http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php
Result:Your Aspie score: 154
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 47
You are very likely an Aspie


I felt that on some other forums people thought I have Asperger's syndrome but they weren't sure whether they should tell me that because they don't know how it will affect me and it may make me upset etc. I can safely tell you that it's not true. I already said what I read about Asperger's syndrome describes me so well. The fact that there are other people like me and knowing that the things I told you about myself(like being antisocial) were not my choice gave me relief.
Thanks for reading.

As I said I want to know if the things I said(like being antisocial) were my choice or not. If I have Asperger's syndrome it means it wasn't my choice.

Knowing something is always better than not knowing it. If someone said "knowing it will not change anything so I don't care" I would't believe him. Knowing it doesn't matter only when you are talking about someone other than yourself. You can't say "I want to have Asperger's syndrome so I have" or "I don't want to have Asperger's syndrome so I don't have". Either you have or you don't have. That's what I'm trying to learn.

It matters for me and I just want to know. That's my choice. Maybe I'll go see a professional in the future but for now I don't want to. That's why I posted a message here.

HIV tests take blood.

I used to read Chemistry and Physics books that we had lying about at home over and over when I was young; it did wonders for my exam results at school as a side-effect  :grin:

Ant

I don't think it's quite that easy. It is surely no one's choice (or fault) that he has certain character traits which makes some skills easier for him to learn and other skills harder for him to learn. It is impossible to know where the line between ability and disability is drawn. We don't want to feel guilty over matters that are beyond our control. But we also don't want to feel powerless over matters that are within our control. A "diagnosis" whether applied to us by others or self-imposed really doesn't solve anything. It is only a handy tool for finding peers.

Of course there is, but where is it? I don't care for stories like Heidi, that preach that you can do anything if only you want to. But I also don't care for the opposite, assuming behavior is totally predetermined.

In this example the line is a lot clearer than in Asperger. And yet it is not always 100% clear. Some people may be able to walk some, for instance with the aid of complicated gadgetry, but the question is how much effort is it worth putting into walking with such a disability?

But this is getting away from our subject.

I agree, but unfortunately, it often works the other way around.

As a matter of fact, this is the only kind of "diagnosis" I consider legitimate. I reject the right of anyone, including physicians and other professionals, to label other people.

Thanks. I'm new to you, but you're not new to me. I've been following AFF for years. Great site, one of my favorites.

What I object to is labeling a person who doesn't want to be labeled. When the person wants the label, it can be considered a "self-diagnosis."

However, you are right to suspect that I also reject (pseudo-)medical diagnoses. A valid medical diagnosis is falsifyable. When a psychiatric label is attached to a person in the guise of a medical diagnosis, it is not falsifyable. The entire field of psychiatry is based on this basic error of logic.

I have a surprise for you. There is no such thing as "schizophrenia." The "medication" given to people so labeled are powerful narcotics that cause irreparable harm to their central nervous systems. The only "good" thing they do is stem withdrawal effects, which are indeed extremely dangerous, but would not be there if the drugs hadn't been started in the first place.

This is precisely my point. We are being deceived about a body of knowledge that doesn't really exist. And the worst is, that a psychiatrist can but by the passing of air along his vocal chords or a stroke of his pen label a person, automatically stripping this person of his status as a full-fledged member of the human family with all the rights that go with it.

I want to add that I didn't mean to start a discussion about the validity of psychiatry. But I don't see how I could answer your questions without mentioning it. Perhaps if you wish to continue it, it would be an idea to open a new topic for it?

Yes, unfortunately, I know lots of people who have been "diagnosed" with it. Most have been locked up, isolated in solitary confinement cells, forced drugged, etc.

I'm not saying that the people so labeled don't have any problems. But those problems are extremely varied, and before they were drugged, had nothing to do with any identifyable physical problem. People are labeled schizophrenic because they are homeless, unemployed, have argued with their parents or spouses, are victims or perpetrators of domestic violence, have extremist political or religious beliefs, etc. The only thing they all have in common is that they are given drugs (often by force), and then they all get the same "side effects" which are then considered "symptoms of schizophrenia."

I am not 'anti everything official'. I am anti coercion and fraud. When someone wants a psychiatric label, wants the treatment that goes with it, and accepts responsibility for the consequences (including misbehaviors under the influence of the drugs or withdrawal therefrom), I have no problem with that. An example of a psychiatric label that many people seek is depression, and many people like taking the stimulants that are called antidepressants.

Do you have objections to diagnoses and/or treatment being issued when those concerned are actually unable to objectively evaluate their options and make an informed choice? Surely that is one of the limitations of patient choice when considering cases of apparent mental illness.

Ant

Can you tell me a little more about this? I know you're ok with people taking antidepressants if they want it themselves but do you think it's unnecessary no matter how bad the person feels and do you think they have some side-effects all the time?

I was on antidepressants for anxiety. I never wanted to be put on them.  However, a med. evaluator/shrink convinced me that I need an antidepressant.  I really just need to talk to someone, anyhow I trusted this doctor and was put on them.

After almost two years of being on them I decieded I wanted off them.  The addiction to this med was so horrifying.  I had to ween SLOWLY and took another year to get off of them.

Since then my anxiety/ocd is worst then ever, plus now I deal with a new sympton of depression which I NEVER had before going on them.

This is an interesting thread in regards to diagnosis.  I think by looking at my threads you can tell that even though pscyhologist that I respect diagnosed with AS a year ago, I still have a hard time believing it.

Just because we think differently it doesn't mean we have a problem.  As a matter of fact I asked my pshcyologist once "what is normal" and he replied back "I don't know when you find out you tell me".

He was pretty cool and he didn't make me feel that just because he diagnosed me with AS that I should just give up and die.

I guess I am truly figuring out that AS is just a label.  Are we really that different that we should be labeled?  

So, now I wonder if a diagnoses is really necessary and or valid.  

In a way getting a diagnosis has kind of helped me know why I am the way I am, but I really don't like using the label.    

As for psychiatric profession they are bad and want to label and put people on drugs.  It's a big, money making business.

The drug companies love the psychiatric profession as they give them a BILLION dollar business and if it weren't for the drug companies the psychiatric profession would be out of business.  Both thrive on each other.

Now as for pshycologist (can't spell) I believe they are okay.  They don't prescribe the meds. But they are good to talk to if one has trouble coping with life and how unfair treats people with being different.

Sign language seems to help me; it doesn't even have to be "real" sign, if I can just pantomime what something is, it'll usually come to me, or if not I can convey enough of a picture for the other person to guess.  Like if I wanted to communicate the concept of "bookshelf" but couldn't find the actual word, I would "draw" a rectangle with lots of lines on it suggesting first shelves, then books sitting on top of the shelves.  Then I will be able to finish my sentence.

For the sieve example, I'd draw a cylindar and move a "scrank" to the side of it.  

And a lot of times people will guess and get it wrong, and that will help me get the right word to correct them.