Aspies For Freedom

As you said, she *is* only 5, I'm well aware I used to do a lot of make believe behaviours like that, and had some OCDish traits (mostly because I felt very insecure at that time), but they'll probably dissapear entirely before she reaches an age where it could pose a problem so she probably doesn't need to be actively pushed any direction. Shouting at her, especially into her ear certainly isn't the way to go.

If you wanted to give her some direction, then if you just let her know that twirling looks "a bit silly" in front of others as opposed to actively saying "no", then when she starts to actually care about her self image in the years to come she'll probably stop (Nobody wants to look "silly") or she'll just forget about it.

The compulsive behaviours are usually a lack of self security, which half the time are imagined anyway - but again, time and knowledge will probably see an end to it almost overnight at some point.

That's my thoughts, although I'm hardly one to ask ;p

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I agree with this.

Children respond better to reason.  They learn by example.  So all you will achieve by yelling No! at your daughter is that it is (a) acceptable behaviour to yell when someone does something you dislike or disapprove of; and (b) randomly shouting without explaining what you´re shouting about will achieve the desired results - which it won´t.

If you want to treat your child - effectively train it - like a dog, then yes, perhaps shouting is the way forward.  That´s what´s known as the Pavlovian response.  Your child will respond not with reason, but with fear and instinct without knowing why.  

Yes, I´m quite good at gaining and maintaining eye contact, but for me, that´s a Pavlovian response I´ve learned, because as a child, if my father was talking he would yell:  ´Look at me when I´m talking to you´, and if I didn´t I would be beaten.  Yes, shouting and beating achieved the desired result, but at a substantial cost to my emotional and psychological development and wellbeing.

I´ve also, as I´ve grown older, learned to moderate my behaviours.  For example, I have OCD tendencies, my behaviours tend to creep up on me, and at some point I´ll ´click´ that it´s becoming extreme and I can modify my own behaviour to make it more ´acceptable´.

I believe the most appropriate way of dealing with this spinning issue is to reason not to yell.  If it is stress related at all, a comforting behaviour, then increasing her anxiety and stress levels by shouting and preventing her from spinning will only increase her desire to spin and comfort herself, and the more she´ll get yelled at to stop, the more she´ll need to do it... etc etc etc it´s a horrible downward spiral to get trapped in.

I believe it´s best to reassure her that it´s okay to spin, but there is an appropriate time and place to do such things, i.e. it´s okay in the playground, but not okay in the classroom, when it´s perhaps disrupting class and distracting other pupils.  It´s best for the teacher to perhaps say:  I know you like spinning, and that´s okay, but for the moment, we need to do some maths or reading exercises and if you just wait for 10 more minutes, when class goes outside for recess, then you can spin, okay?

That´s much more effective than yelling.

This happened to me!

How annoying an attitude to have to deal with. Not being popular is a non-issue, one or two friends is all I needed while growing up. Not being tolerated for being who you are is the most horrible thing that can happen to a child, and that feeling isn't limited to being caused by bullying. A teacher telling you that you should act more like the other kids in order to avoid being bullied will cause the same feeling of not being tolerated for being who you are.

I hope you can find a solution to education that's satisfactory to your child's needs, and wish you luck doing so.

Ugh!

I've restrained myself commenting into this thread until now.

That Catholic school teacher ... she is a symbol of all I despise and fight against in my life. My Dad was abused by Catholics so he tries to protect me from everything religious.

I am sorry your daughter has suffered.

I am well pleased.

So long as she is accepted she will be happy.

I go the "No!" treatment from my aide for years. Seriously. Everytime I would whip out my drawing notebooks to draw, she says into my ear, "No!" and may sometimes attempt to confiscate the notebook. It is very annoying and I think my left ear is getting irritated because of it. I get annoyed, then release my anger into the drawing, so saying No really accomplishes nothing and annoys the hell out of the Prime Subject.

Ahhh... I miss school life without an aide. It was much less annoying and more fun. D:<

It's people like that, who make me want to treat them like a dog. Like every time they'd yell "NO!", I'd want to say, "BAD! BAD! You want to act like a wild animal, then I'll just have ot treat you like one."

Which, as anyone with the tiniest bit of knowledge of how canines really behave already knows, is not the right way to get a dog to change behavior.  In fact, it's the wrong way to train any organism.