The only conclusion I can come up with why people would want to keep this information secret is if somebody could use it against them in some way. How could somebody use this information against them?
If somebody committed a crime then I could understand them wanting to keep it a secret as if it were found out they would go to prison. I cannot understand how medical matters, financial matters or love life could be used against them.
Any ideas?
You would not believe the things that people can use against others. Not only that, some people are stuck in this stupid rat race and feel the need to know bits of information about others as a way of comparing themselves to you or competing with you and I think this is ridiculous. I hate it when people ask me how much I earn for example as this is my business not theirs. And I don't think people ask you this because they are genuinely interested in you but its something else about you that they know. If you know what I'm getting at.
There are some personal (private) things that I don't like discussing in real life. For example my depression. It is not that I think people will use it against me per se, but it changes the way they treat me. They begin treating me more like a child and giving me pitying looks and not leaving me alone.
I don't ever mind answering questions and am honest and upfront about things, but in this case, I really don't like the reactions that people give.
(I'm NT by the way)
There are a lot of things that people also don't discuss because it "just isn't done". For example, comparing salaries in a social (rather than business) situation where there are people of all different socio-economic stata would be considered rude, because it would be perceived as trying to establish a hierarchy among the people in the room (I think this is the reason anyway.). (Though I don't understand why it is considered more polite to ignore someone's financial troubles than to try to help if you can, but I suspect it has something to do with the fact that such attempts always go awry.)
There are some personal (private) things that I don't like discussing in real life. For example my depression. It is not that I think people will use it against me per se, but it changes the way they treat me. They begin treating me more like a child and giving me pitying looks and not leaving me alone.
I tend to be the opposite. I'm very open about my depression because I consider it a big part of who I am. I don't, however, accept pity. If someone wants to think less of me because I have a mental illness then they weren't worth knowing to begin with.
Not everyone wants to be that "close". Just because I nod at someone on the street doesn't mean I want to invite them into my life nor does it entitle them to know everything about me. I also wish in some situations that people would share much less with me than they do. I don't like getting dumped on with a truck load of emotional drama when someone unloads their list of woes at my feet. And.... I really don't want to hear details about your fungus. Kthanx
I tend to divulge whatever information anyone asks for, but I don't like that I do this. I get so distracted in trying to answer the question that I forget to analyze whether I Should be answering it.
I know this is considered odd, but one question I can't stand is being asked if I have or want kids in a work environment. This is because I don't think whether I'm capable of having children or if I want to have children has anything at all to do with the work I'm able to do. So, sometimes there are other reasons that a question is too personal.
Some questions sound like "how well are you fitting in with your peers" or "What kind of relationship problems are you having." I have a few close friends who are allowed to ask anything, but anyone else is pretty much an acquaintance. Acquaintances don't need to know all about my personal life.
I am an NT and I can confirm that we share personal info to be close to others. Because as NT's we can empathise with each other this breaks down the barriers of friendship very quickly so unlike possiblly some Aspie friendships, NT friendships are based on mutual understanding of similar expereinces rather than shared interests. Of course shared interests count but not very fundamental